Jokes Thread

[cobra commando]

"Fresh Polan of Yurop"

 

[cobra commando]

^ continued -

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[kseeker]

A man knocks on the door of a supposedly exclusive brothel. Through a small window in the door, the madam says, "What can I do for you, sir?"

"I'd like to get screwed," he answers.

"This is an exclusive club," she explains. "To join, you must slip a thousand dollars under the door."

The man does so, but the door doesn't open. So he knocks again and the madam re-appears

The man says, "Hey, I'd like to get screwed." please,,,,,

The madam, "Again???"

 

[kseeker]

Conductor- bache ka ticket???

Rajasthani lady- iiko b ticket laage Hai Ke??

Conductor – Ha Lage Hai"¦

Lady: Arey"¦ Magar"¦ Yo to abhi bi maro BOBLO Chuse hai..

Conductor: Arey BOBLO to iiko baap bhi chuse hai, to uke b free me bithau ke baavri ?

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

 

[kseeker]

A b00b, a v@g!na and an @$$h0le are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them!

b00b – "I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I am the greatest!"

v@g!na – "That's nothing, I give birth to new born and can accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I am the greatest !

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Why are you scrolling down?

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Still scrolling down ? :shocked:

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Okay, It's your turn to speak now

 

[Kyubi]

How can we expect foreigners to understand the English language?


We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England .

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,

in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

Just awesome !!!

 

[cobra commando]

 

[EXPERT]

On a Lighter Note:

फौज मे मौज है, 500 रुपये रोज है।
थोड़ा सा गम है, इसके लिए भी रम है।
लाइफ थोड़ी रिस्की है, इसके लिए तो विस्की है।
15 साल का टेंशन है, इसके बाद पेंशन है

 

[EXPERT]

Student ki notebook k last page par kya milega??
1) love k % check karne vali game.
2) Pen ko chalane k liye kiye gaye prayaas.
3) Aadha page fata hua.
4) Exams k liye important qns.
5) Ex n Zero game.
6) Funny pictures drawn by us for tym pass
7) Dost ne likha hua crush ka nam or us par itni pen ghisna k use koi na padh ske
Our sign in different Styles Happy Students life..!! . . . . . . .

 

[arnabmit]

 

[cobra commando]

Brief History of
Taiwan(stick war version)

 

[Ankit Purohit]

A b00b, a v@g!na and an @$$h0le are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them!

b00b – "I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I am the greatest!"

v@g!na – "That's nothing, I give birth to new born and can accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I am the greatest !

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Why are you scrolling down?

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Still scrolling down ? :shocked:

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Okay, It's your turn to speak now

Deadly One

 

[kseeker]

Deadly One

Ha ha

 

[W.G.Ewald]

 

[Razor]

^^ Winter is awesome

 

[W.G.Ewald]

 

[W.G.Ewald]

 

[kseeker]

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain.

While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served? They look like Spanish Oysters!'

The waiter replied, 'Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are not Oysters"¦ they are called Cojones de Toro, Bull's testicles from the Bull fight this morning. A rare delicacy!'

The Cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one Bull fight each morning. Tomorrow, if you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the Cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the Bull wins and the Man loses !'