Jokes Thread

[kseeker]

There was a meeting of Bihar state freedom fighters.

They wanted to free. Bihar from India.

Ram bhaiya raised a point"¦,

"We may take Bihar from India but how will we develop it?"

Shayam bhaiya had a brainwave. "No problem!
We will attack America,
we will lose the war
& USA will take us over"¦
Then we will become a State of USA & develop automatically"¦!
We will also become direct citizens of USA"¦.
No more Visas & Green Cards."

All the Bhaiyas were overjoyed with this solution"¦..,
but an old bhaiya was not.

Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.

The old bhaiya replied,
"That's all very well"¦.,
But what would happen if by chance we won & took over America???"

 

[kseeker]

Vermaji ke khet ke tamatar bahot laal hote the.

Padosan ne puccha to vermaji ne kaha – "Madam me roz subah aadha nangaa ho ke paani deta hu, isi liye sharm se laal ho gaye"¦! "

Padosan ne bhi apne khet me aisa hi kiya"¦. Tamatar to laal nahi hue, par "¦..
.
.
.
.
.
par"¦"¦.
.
.
.

baingan lambe ho gaye.

 

[kseeker]

Sharma Ji Ki Party Mein Dinner Karte Hue Verma Ji Ke Paas Mrs Sharma Akar Boli.

Bhaisaab, Aapne To Kuch Liya Hi Nahi.Aur, ek Chicken Ka Leg-Piece Uthha Ke Unki Plate Mein Rakh Diya.

Party Khatam Hone Par Sharma Ji Ne Verma Ji Se Puchha. "Khana Kaisa Tha?"

Verma Ji: Dishes To Sabhi Badiya The, Par End Mein Bhabhi Ji Ne Jo Taang Utha Ke Di, Mazaa Aa Gaya... Ummmwahhh

 

[cobra commando]

 

[A chauhan]

Mahatma Gandhi writes a love letter to Kasturaba Gandhi:-

Dear Kasturaba,

I LOVE YOU

Yours Bapu.

 

[kseeker]

@cobra commando,

Kebab Kebab, Biryani Biryani ... is awesome !

 

[cobra commando]

^ I like the last panel - Doinks!

 

[JBH22]

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

i am lucky i fell 3-4 times in snow, you made my day, got all experience recalled...

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

Eurozone Debt Crisis: A Conspiracy

Finally Polan can into Space!

 

[kseeker]

There was an American man who lived in China and when he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom the entire time he was there.

Then he returned to America and one morning he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis.the man freaked out.

He went to the doctor. The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests." So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 days for your test results.

The man came back in 3 days and the doctor said "I have some bad news.you have a disease called Chinis Sinihc. It is very uncommon here and we now little about it.

I'm sorry sir but we will need to amputate your penis." The man was horrified.

He went to a Chinese doctor thinking he would know more about it.

The Chinese doctor said "oh yes, Chinis Sinihc, very ware. yes" !!!.

The american doctor wants to amputate my penis

"Stupiidd a american doctahh, make more more money always, no amputate."

"Oh thank god" said the man. "

Chinese doctor Yes,wait 2 weeks, "it will fall off by itself" don't waste your $$$ :sarc:

 

[kseeker]

A young man is wandering and lost in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old, and entered the house.

During dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night, he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet, so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought."If that's the best the old man can do, then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window, and threw the boulder out.

As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post."

 

[kseeker]

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid that there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist, so she did.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was told.

Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not
haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what
is Ed Zachary disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

 

[kseeker]

 

[drkrn]

A guy wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night.

He picks up his dressing gown from the floor and puts it on.

He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra. He thinks to himself, "Uh oh. What happened last night?"

He walks towards the bathroom and finds a pair of knickers in the other pocket of his gown.

Again he thinks, "What happened last night. What have I done? It must have been a wild party," making his best attempt to conclude and accept the evidence.

He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror.

He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is, "If there's a God, please let this be a tea bag."


Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".