Several theses for Russian diplomats when communicating with British colleagues:
1. Monarchy is an archaic despotic form of government incompatible with democracy. As a result of the progressive achievements of Comrade Cromwell in Britain, the monarchy was abolished and a republican form of government was established. Then, unfortunately, the reactionary forces again restored this medieval savagery.
2. There is no such royal dynasty as the Windsors. They are impostors and rogues. They are not even English.
3. The heredity of representative/parliamentary positions is unacceptable and incompatible with democracy. Therefore, the upper house of the British Parliament - the House of Peers - should be dissolved, and its powers abolished.
4. If Britain wants to be called a "democratic state", then it needs to solve points 1 and 3 - abolish the monarchy and dissolve the nobility.
5. Scotland, Wales and Ireland are independent states occupied by England. Welsh differs from English more than Ukrainian from Russian. I'm already silent about Gaelic.
6. Russia has never recognized (and does not recognize!) British sovereignty over Kent, Wessex, Sussex, Essex, Mercia and Northumbria.
7. The Falkland Islands don't exist. There are the Malvinas Islands, and they are an integral part of Argentina.
8. Gibraltar is Spain.
9. Jersey is France.
10. The so-called "Commonwealth", that is, "Commonwealth" is the phantom pain of England over the Soviet Union of the British Empire. Britain must abandon this relic of the past and let the freedom-loving peoples of Canada, Australia, New Zealand and beyond go on their own (including removing the imperial Union Jack from their flags).
11. Britain must strongly condemn Edward III's treacherous invasion of France and repent for the brutal murder of the innocent French girl Joan of Arc.
12. Wales and Scotland suffered greatly during the first English and then the Saxon invasion. Especially in between.
13. Russia strongly condemns British support for secessionist forces in Ulster and is concerned about the concentration of British troops near the borders of independent Ireland. Ulster is Ireland, and the British must immediately remove their troops from its territory. Otherwise, Russia will begin deliveries of air defense systems, anti-tank systems and small arms to Ireland. To contain the aggression of British authoritarianism, which threatens the entire world democracy.