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A pistol A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said,"When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to...

A fighter pilot Pierre, a brave French fighterpilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's abeautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's...

A pickle slicer Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to...

A pet alligator A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gatorwill close his mouth for one minute. He'll then...

A big bug A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices... suddenly the woman reaches over and slices off the man's pecker... angrily the woman tosses the pecker out the window of the car...Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a fella...

Two statues In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. The two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving...

Wher babies come from A teenage girl come home fromschool and asks her mother,"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the...

Car Salesmen Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other,"Boy, this economy sucks. If Idon't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my ----ing ass!" Too late, he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his useof...

Railroad A man is telling his friend of a recent experience: "I was walking along beside the railway line" he says,"When I saw this girl tied to the tracks. Well, naturally I freed her, pulled her off the tracks and ended up having sex with her all night." "Did you get a blow job?" asks his...

Snake in the Bush A little boy asks his uncle if he can take a shower with him. The uncle says "yes, but don't look down." So the boy is in the shower with his uncle and he looks down and asks what it is. The uncle replies it's a snake. Then the boy asks if he can take a shower with his aunty...

Little johnny and little Eve Little Johnny and Little Eve are in Sunday School together.Eve always falls asleep but only Johnny knows. One day the teacher asks Eve "who is our creator?" Eve was asleep when Johnny was sitting behind her and he shoved his dick up her ass. Eve yells"Lord Jesus!"...

It is not a joke , it is a tragedy!:mad: :banghead:

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Getting pregnant ~ In a second grade class, a little girl asks, "Teacher, canmy Mommy get pregnant?" "How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher. "Forty." she replies. "Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant." The little girl then asks,"Can my big sister get pregnant?" "Well, dear, how...

Castrated:censored: ~ "Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very...

Fred:censored: ~ A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he was in a good moodthat day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name." Fred" he replies...

Definitely ~ A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black." A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green."...

Laughing baby ~ A baby was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing like crazy. I mean laughing real hard. Allthe doctors and nurses were examining the little thing, in front of the worried parents,but he kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed...

Tail light ~ On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid,"Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail light...

Genie ~ Bill Clinton was walking alongthe beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold, a Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...Due to inflation, constant downswing, low wages in third world...