Jokes Thread

Srinivas_K

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Diyar Childran, today we will teach you the history of Pakistan.

4.5 Billion years ago, God created Pakistan. AFTER THAT, God created The Earth!

Immediately after that, he created the Goat. Then the Goat was getting bored, so he created Bin Qasim, who is internationally recognized (And proved by NASA) as a first Pakistani.

Pakistan lies in the Middle East, which is at the north-west of Pakistani Sub Continent covering the entire Bangladeshi Ocean.

Infidel Columbus (Originally a Muslim but forcefully converted by Shah-e-Spain) was in search of Pakistan when he found Amreeka by mistake. He called those Amreekis as Red Indians because they were dark skinned, and a bit short in length (as compared to Pakistanis), and they were drinking RED Bull!

Though there was no such entity as India, still we managed to rule them for 1000 years, which is the clear proof that we are the Martial Race.

In 1946, Hinduism was founded by RSS which was the main problem between the converted Hindoos and original Muslims of the region.

After Britishers and Indians fought for their independence from Pakistan, Britishers and Indians were granted independence in 1947, after that India came into existence.

We fought 4 wars with india which are as follows:

1948: We invaded Kashmir and liberated half of it where indian Army was not present. Thus it is our victory.

1965: We invaded Kashmir but then successfully defended Lahore(!), hence we are the winners.

1971: india attacked us and we liberated Bangladesh from india's occupation, hence we are the winners.

1999: We were successful in internationalizing Kashmir issue, hence we are the winners.

Stay tuned for more historical events covering how Pakistan won World War 0 before winning WorldWar 1 & 2.

https://www.facebook.com/ZaidHamid.BC
 

Voldemort

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Sonia Gandhi is with the Queen of England.
Sonia: "Your Majesty, any tips you can give me to stay in power the way you have been for so long?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Sonia frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me
are intelligent?"
The Queen: "Easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "David Cameron, would you come in here, please?"
David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, ma'am?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, David. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me, ma'am."
"Very good! Thank you, David !" said the Queen.
Then she turned to Sonia with a smile and said "See?"
Now its Sonia's turn to apply the same logic....
Sonia went back to India and asked Rahul..
"Rahul , answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Rahul gandhi . "Let me get back to you on that one..."
Rahul gandhi went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer...
Finally, he ran into Narendra Modi and asked, "Narendrabhai, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"..
Narendra Modi answered, "That's easy, it's me!"..
Rahul gandhi said, "Thanks!"
Then he went to Sonia. "I did some thinking and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Narendra Modi..."??
Sonia slapped him....
and shouted.. "No! You dumb idiot! It's David Cameron!"
 

Ashutosh Lokhande

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Vishwas : Hum honge kaamyab, Hum honge kaamyab ek din

girl : ho ho man me hain vishwas pura hain vishwas

vishwas : Hatt pagli love you too
 

Ashutosh Lokhande

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I want to be captain of team.
If not, then I want to bat first and bowl as well.
If not then I want to become captain of opposition team.
If not then I want to be commentator
If not then I want to sit in visitors gallery.
If not then I want to sit in the first row.
If not then.....

Who am I?










Majhe naav Uddhav Thackeray 😜😄😄
 

JBH22

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Another idiot taking on nature. Seriously annoying a lion in its natural habitat. Would have been better if lion had mauled him.
 
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pmaitra

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Another idiot taking on nature. Seriously annoying a lion in its natural habitat. Would have been better if lion had mauled him.
Nominate him for Param Veer Chakra.

On a serious note, I think the lioness was assaulted by a buffalo, and is injured.
 
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DingDong

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Nominate him for Param Veer Chakra.

On a serious note, I think the lioness was assaulted by a buffalo, and is injured.
That is how the Lions of the Gir Forest behave, they tolerate Humans.
 

Kshatriya87

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Some dumb guy sent me this msg on whatsapp

INDIA got its name from British after independence. It means, INDIA - Independent Nation Declared In August. And he asks people to forward this incredible knowledge.
 

cobra commando

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Zoke tym: Pakistan


Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London . Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day. Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage- free house and has a lot of money to spend. Habib says to Ali 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how is it that you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?' Ali says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'? Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'. Ali says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3 Habib says"¦ 'So what does your sign say'? Ali shows Habib his sign"¦. It reads, 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan!! :p
 

jouni

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Finnish Extroverts
How can you tell the difference between a Finnish introvert and a Finnish extrovert?
When he's talking to you a Finnish introvert looks at his feet.
A Finnish extrovert looks at yours.
 

Bangalorean

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Some dumb guy sent me this msg on whatsapp

INDIA got its name from British after independence. It means, INDIA - Independent Nation Declared In August. And he asks people to forward this incredible knowledge.
Even I received that one. People can be such gigantic morons, it is tough to imagine that such retardedness exists.
 

thethinker

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Historical anecdote :

The Indian president, Dr. Radhakrishnan, met Britain's Prime Minister Winston Churchill and they sat down for lunch. Before sitting, Dr. Radhakrishnan washed his hands and as the meal was served, he used his hands in eating the meal. Churchill told Dr. Radhakrishnan, "Why are you using your hands? Use spoon and fork, they are more hygienic".

Radhakrishnan's repartee was, "Since nobody has used my hand to eat before, my hand is more hygienic than any spoon you can find."
 

Shepster

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1.

why do Germans love Americans? because Americans are the most hated people in the world now.
2.

What do sex in a canoe and American beer have in common? They're both ----ing close to water.
3.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.
4.

I had to go see my doctor today because I'm having an unusual problem. I say to him, "I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem".

The doctor said, "Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that".
5.

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4.
 

Ray

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Subject: CHINESE CUSTOM

Dear All,
Greetings.
Must learn about other's customs to be worldly wise...

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
A Chinese moves to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China-man leading a bull down the drive-way, ...pause...., and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the China-man and says, 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.'

The China man is very taken back and says, 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these American Customs.'

'What do you mean ' says the neighbor, 'Those aren't American customs.'

Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the China-man 'He say to become true American, I must learn to
..... chase chicks,
..... get piss drunk,
and
.... listen to bull-shit...
.
 
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Free Karma

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@Ray sir, perhaps those email addresses at the start should be removed...
 
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