Jokes Thread

[Anikastha]

Once, an international cruise ship passengers from many countries was going through ocean.
But there came a storm which damaged the engine of ship but the captain somehow managed to prevent ship from getting sunk.
Due to damage in engine, ship could lift much p
weight.
So, everybody thrown their goods in water.
Finally, three people more had to jump in water to save ship.
Suddenly, a Japanese man ran out of the crowd and said"Sayyo Naaraa" and jumped in the water.
Then, a French guy said Long live France and jumped in water.
Then, an Indian Singh came out of the crowd and said Jai Hind.
And





pushed the pakistani standing aside in the water.
:balle-balle:

hahaha...
:biggrin2::bounce:

 

[Indx TechStyle]

Teacher: ABC sunao
Haryanavi student: ABC
Teacher: Aur sunao
Haryanavi Student: Aur theek sai, aap sunao

 

[Indx TechStyle]

Buddies, remember that Afghan earthquake?

 

[Indx TechStyle]

Never forget, yaad rakhna

 

[Prakash_Dr]

Wat is he doing ???


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Mikesingh]

I tend to agree!

 

[BATTLE FIELD]

same with me during my school time

 

[LuvChouhan]

दुनिया के दो ऐसे प्राणी बताओ जिन्हें ठण्ड नहीं लगती....
1. पेंगुइन
और दूसरा
2. शादी में आई औरते...

Regards: Irctc online booking

 

[BATTLE FIELD]

The Taliban are everywhere, and they are absolutely elusive

 

[rockey 71]

With advance apologies to Punjabi ladies in the Forum

A man walked into the women's department of Shoppers Stop in Bombay City. He found a saleslady, and told her, 'I would like a Punjabi bra for my wife, size 34 B.'

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, 'What kind of bra?'

He repeated 'A Punjabi bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Punjabi bra, and that you would know what she means.'

'Ah, now I remember,' said the saleslady. 'We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Jain bra, or the Parsi bra.'

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked, 'So, what are the differences? '

The saleslady responded. 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Jain bra lifts up the fallen and
downtrodden, and the Parsi bra keeps one staunch and upright.'

He mused on that information for a minute, and asked, 'So, what does the Punjabi bra do?'

'The Punjabi bra,' she replied,'makes mountains out of molehills.'

 

[rockey 71]

Spot Fixing !!!





A lady walked into a Police Station in Sydney and the desk Sergeant said,
"Can I help you?"


"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".

"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.

"In the park just down the road," she replied..

"Can you describe what happened?"

"Yes: I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when
a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear
then he dropped his trousers to his knees and had his way with me."


"Could you give me a description of him?"

"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg."

"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman," said the Sergeant.

"Yes," said the lady, "he was a Pakistani Cricketer".


"That's very observant," said the Sergeant.

"You worked that out from his accent?"


"No," she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long". !!!!!!!

 

[rockey 71]

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne."

"What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating." "It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" said the woman.

"What a coincidence!" said the farmer.

- Advertisement -

While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant."

"What a coincidence," said the man. "I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs."

"This is incredible," said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?"

"I used a different rooster," he said.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

 

[rockey 71]

http://www.ba-bamail.com/video.aspx?emailid=18692&memberid=977190

Merry Xmas!

 

[Kshatriya87]

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/trending/muslims-isis-twitter-goofs-1.3382196

Muslims tell ISIS they'd rather see Star Wars than fight in Syria

 

[Indx TechStyle]

भयंकर शायरी
अरे हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा,
गैरों में कहाँ दम था.
मेरी हड्डी वहाँ टूटी,
जहाँ हॉस्पिटल बन्द था.
मुझे जिस एम्बुलेन्स में डाला,
उसका पेट्रोल ख़त्म था.
मुझे रिक्शे में इसलिए बैठाया,
क्योंकि उसका किराया कम था.
मुझे डॉक्टरों ने उठाया,
नर्सों में कहाँ दम था.
मुझे जिस बेड पर लेटाया,
उसके नीचे बम था.

 

[Indx TechStyle]

एक भैस की दर्द भरी

दास्तान :-

बच्चा जब थोड़ा बड़ा होता

है ।दूध मेंरा पीता है।

बोर्नविटा डालडाल कर ।

और निबंध लिखने के

लिये गाय क्यो ?

यदि बच्चा लिख नहीं पाता

तो बोलते है "काला अक्षर

भैस बराबर " तो क्या

दूसरे जानवर पोष्ट ग्रेजुएट

है ?

गलती करे कोई भी बदनाम हम क्यों ?"
बैठ गयी भैस पानी

में" हमनें क्या बिगाड़ा है?

समझ मे आपको नही आता ओर कहते हे
"भेस के आगे बीन बजाने से क्या फ़ायदा "
हम भी अन्य सब जानवरों

की तरह ही है ।फिर भी

सीमा से अधिक भेद-भाव

झेलते है ।

ग :गाय का
ब :बंदर का
ऊ :ऊल्लू का

तो हमारा क्या ?

भ :भैंस का लिखनें में

आपका क्या जाता है ।

हमारा दूध पीकर हमसे

ही गद्दारी !

कोईं औरत सीधी हो तो

उसे गाय से तुलना करते

हो ।और मोटी हो तो भैंस?

कोईं गाय हिरन या

जंगली जानवर को आदमी मार दे तो उसको

सजा है हमको मार दे तो

कुछ नहीं !

उल्टा पूछते हैं

"हमनें क्या तुम्हारी भैस

मारी है "

और तो और कोईं रास्ते

पर बीच में खड़ा हो जाये

तो कहते हो कि क्या भैसे

जैसा खड़ा है ।

हमारी मेजोरिटी के बारे में

आप सब जानते है ।

जिस दिन धरना प्रदर्शन

कर देंगें ।

होटलों से लेकर पाँच

सितारा तक सब हीलाके

रख देंगें ।

हमारा केवल यह निवेदन

है कि हमें भी अन्य

जानवरों जैसा ही सम्मान

मिले ।

हम पर फब्तियाँ कसना

बंद हो नही तो

फिर मिलेंगे धरना स्थल

राम लीला मैदान पर ।

:bs:

 

[rockey 71]

> Grandma & Grandpa

> Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
> Their kids overnight.
> When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in
> His son's medicine cabinet, he asked
> About using one of the pills.
> The son said, "I don't think you should
> Take one Dad; they're very strong
> And very expensive."
> "How much?" asked Grandpa.
> "$10. A pill," Answered the son.
> "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
> Try one, and before we leave in the
> Morning, I'll put the money
> Under the pillow."
> Later the next morning, the son found
> $110 under the pillow. He called
> Grandpa and said, "I told
> You each pill was $10, not $110.
> "I know," said Grandpa. "The
> Hundred is from Grandma

 

[Ancient Indian]

Some how this pic is funny.

Brad Pitt as cheeni Khaini ambassador

 

[Indx TechStyle]

 

[OneGrimPilgrim]

...but no joke this!......................