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Germany vs Argentina 1-0 2014 ~ Full Highlights ~ World Cup 2014
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Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Daredevil
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Brazil vs Germany 1-7 Full Highlights ~ World Cup 2014
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Ashutosh Lokhande
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Girl- Mera Birthday Hai,
Boy-Advance Me Happy Birthday.
Girl-Kya Gift Doge?
Boy-Kya Chahiye?
Girl-1 Ring.
Boy-2 Ring Dunga Par Uthana Mat Balance Kam Hai.
Boy-Advance Me Happy Birthday.
Girl-Kya Gift Doge?
Boy-Kya Chahiye?
Girl-1 Ring.
Boy-2 Ring Dunga Par Uthana Mat Balance Kam Hai.
GilbertoMartin
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Re: Farting Your Guts Out
These are good jokes to be read as they help others laugh at.
These are good jokes to be read as they help others laugh at.
GilbertoMartin
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The jokes are tremendous.
Ashutosh Lokhande
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Question : What is the truest definition of Globalization ?
Answer : Princess Diana's death .
Question : How come ?
Answer :An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on
Scottish whisky: followed closely by
Italian Paparazzis in
Japanese motorcycles; treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines.
And moreover this is sent to you by an
INDIAN,
using
American
(Steve job's) technology, and you're probably reading this on your iPhone or Samsung or blackberry , that use
Taiwanese chips, and a
Korean screen, assembled by
Bangladeshi workers in a
Singapore plant, transported by
PAKISTANI lorry-drivers, .... . That is
"" Globalisation😎😎😎
Answer : Princess Diana's death .
Question : How come ?
Answer :An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on
Scottish whisky: followed closely by
Italian Paparazzis in
Japanese motorcycles; treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines.
And moreover this is sent to you by an
INDIAN,
using
American
(Steve job's) technology, and you're probably reading this on your iPhone or Samsung or blackberry , that use
Taiwanese chips, and a
Korean screen, assembled by
Bangladeshi workers in a
Singapore plant, transported by
PAKISTANI lorry-drivers, .... . That is
"" Globalisation😎😎😎
Nice One
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That's really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!"
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That's really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!"
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OLYMPICS.. I DIDN'T KNOW THIS TILL NOW.........DID YOU??......
A slave girl from Sardinia, named Gedophamee, was attending a great, but as yet, unnamed athletic festival, 2500 years ago in Greece .
In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted sexual arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drinks containing saltpetre,before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed: "OH!! Limp pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia, that morphed into, "Olympics".
Just thought I'd share this new-found knowledge with you
A slave girl from Sardinia, named Gedophamee, was attending a great, but as yet, unnamed athletic festival, 2500 years ago in Greece .
In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted sexual arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drinks containing saltpetre,before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed: "OH!! Limp pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia, that morphed into, "Olympics".
Just thought I'd share this new-found knowledge with you
JBH22
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God-What do you want?
Boy-A very beautiful girl.
God-If you are a muslim I'll give you
Katrina
If you are a hindu I'll give you
Kareena
and if you are christian I'll give you
Genelia,
What's your name...???
Boy-Abdul Namdev Fernandes
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
God-
BOBBY DARLING deta hu sale ko,
Bahut oversmart ban raha
hai...!!!!
Teacher:
Wo Kon Hai Jo
Khud To
Aasman Pe
Urhti Phirti
Hai
Lekin Bachy
Zameen Pe
Aa Kar Deti Hai?
.
Boy:
Kuch Dair
Sochny Ke Bad:
AIR HOSTESS.
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Engineering student caught going off to bed at 1 am, issued show cause notice
Pune.
A 2nd year engineering student from one of the 246 top 10 engineering colleges in the city was yesterday issued show cause notice by the hostel authorities after he was caught dozing off to sleep as early as 1 am in the night.
20 year old Padhaku was caught sleeping by one of his 4 roommates who heard sound of somebody snoring for the first time in the room.
"Till now we used to think he must be watching some porn covering himself with blanket every night. We didn't know he was sleeping," his roommate told Faking News.
As the news began spreading, the entire hostel assembled in the open ground outside the hostel and demanded Padhaku be thrown out of hostel, lest he influences other students too.
Following this the hostel warden investigated the case and held him guilty for the breach of the Engineering code of conduct.
The warden after consulting the seniors then issued a show cause notice to him asking him to explain why he should not be expelled from the hostel.
"We had ostracized him way back last year when we caught him studying 24 hours before exam," revealed his room-mate. "But this is way too much. It's like having dinner 9 am in the morning. He is a blot on engineering students."
Padhaku, who was earlier reprimanded after he was found taking bath daily was let off after he promised to keep a gap of at least a week between baths. But this time the hostel authorities felt he had gone a bit too far.
"If he is so keen on sleeping so early, then why did he take up a tough course like engineering? He should have taken up commerce or arts," the college's principal argued how this one incident has damaged reputation of the college and the sanctity of the course.
"This is engineering goddamnit. You may or may not be studying late into the night. But you have to remain awake. What are college classes there for if you are sleeping in the hostel," a 29 year old alumnus of the college, now preparing for IAS, rebuked Padhaku.
"Tell me what is the difference between us and graduates from other courses, if we too resort to such a normal behaviour," he asked Padhaku. He then beat up Padhaku after Padhaku told him that the difference is that other graduates have girlfriends.
Meanwhile his roommates are now planning to immerse themselves in a pool of old monk to cleanse themselves completely, as they fear his behavior could be contagious.
Engineering student caught going off to bed at 1 am, issued show cause notice | Faking News
Pune.
A 2nd year engineering student from one of the 246 top 10 engineering colleges in the city was yesterday issued show cause notice by the hostel authorities after he was caught dozing off to sleep as early as 1 am in the night.
20 year old Padhaku was caught sleeping by one of his 4 roommates who heard sound of somebody snoring for the first time in the room.
"Till now we used to think he must be watching some porn covering himself with blanket every night. We didn't know he was sleeping," his roommate told Faking News.
As the news began spreading, the entire hostel assembled in the open ground outside the hostel and demanded Padhaku be thrown out of hostel, lest he influences other students too.
Following this the hostel warden investigated the case and held him guilty for the breach of the Engineering code of conduct.
The warden after consulting the seniors then issued a show cause notice to him asking him to explain why he should not be expelled from the hostel.
"We had ostracized him way back last year when we caught him studying 24 hours before exam," revealed his room-mate. "But this is way too much. It's like having dinner 9 am in the morning. He is a blot on engineering students."
Padhaku, who was earlier reprimanded after he was found taking bath daily was let off after he promised to keep a gap of at least a week between baths. But this time the hostel authorities felt he had gone a bit too far.
"If he is so keen on sleeping so early, then why did he take up a tough course like engineering? He should have taken up commerce or arts," the college's principal argued how this one incident has damaged reputation of the college and the sanctity of the course.
"This is engineering goddamnit. You may or may not be studying late into the night. But you have to remain awake. What are college classes there for if you are sleeping in the hostel," a 29 year old alumnus of the college, now preparing for IAS, rebuked Padhaku.
"Tell me what is the difference between us and graduates from other courses, if we too resort to such a normal behaviour," he asked Padhaku. He then beat up Padhaku after Padhaku told him that the difference is that other graduates have girlfriends.
Meanwhile his roommates are now planning to immerse themselves in a pool of old monk to cleanse themselves completely, as they fear his behavior could be contagious.
Engineering student caught going off to bed at 1 am, issued show cause notice | Faking News
Cadian
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Meanwhile in Russia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnsdc7cTPuU&app=desktop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnsdc7cTPuU&app=desktop
Free Karma
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- Oct 3, 2009
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Free Karma
Senior Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2013
- Messages
- 2,372
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Chinese President unhappy with size of his hotel suite encroaches adjacent suite by breaking wall | Faking News
While resting in a five-star hotel in the city after long flight from Beijing to Ahmedabad, Chinese President Xi Jinping was so unhappy with the size of suite that he intruded into and encroached the adjacent suite by breaking the wall between them.
Jignesh, a staff of the luxurious Le Dakh hotel revealed that Xi Jinping was in Presidential Suite only for an hour, but he couldn't stop himself from indulging in this act.
Xi-Jinping
"To make him feel at home, we had even blocked Facebook in the hotel. But despite all our efforts to make him happy, the suite with an area of just 4000 square feet made him very upset," Jignesh recalled the incidents that took place earlier today.
Making his intentions clear to the person living in the adjacent suite, Xi Jinping started with sending his personal security guards carrying one of his suitcases and a small Chinese flag.
Chinese guards forcibly entered the next suite, roamed there for couple of minutes and finally came out after putting Xi Jinping's suitcase and Chinese flag inside, hotel sources tell Faking News.
"Later, Xi Jinping with help of his guards started breaking the wall between both suites, and within half an hour they combined them to make a Super Presidential Suite," Jignesh revealed.
If Chinese sources are to be believed, it's not the first time Xi Jinping had indulged in in such an act.
"Once in Japan, he encroached on the hotel suite just above his suite by blowing up the floor ceiling," disclosed a Chinese source, whom we don't believe.
Meanwhile alerted by Xi Jinping's deeds, central government has immediately ordered authorities in Delhi to do the required changes in the hotel where Chinese President was scheduled to stay. It's not yet clear whether it means building a stronger wall between suites or giving the President the entire hotel.
However, after multiple round of meetings, government has finally decided to play it safe by making Xi Jinping stay at Ramlila Maidan.
"A big tent house is being created covering whole of Ramlila Maidan. I don't think Chinese President will complain anymore seeing tents and open areas," said an optimistic central government official, "And the maidan will further remind him of democratic rallies and dharnas, something that will keep will distracted and puzzled."
While resting in a five-star hotel in the city after long flight from Beijing to Ahmedabad, Chinese President Xi Jinping was so unhappy with the size of suite that he intruded into and encroached the adjacent suite by breaking the wall between them.
Jignesh, a staff of the luxurious Le Dakh hotel revealed that Xi Jinping was in Presidential Suite only for an hour, but he couldn't stop himself from indulging in this act.
Xi-Jinping
"To make him feel at home, we had even blocked Facebook in the hotel. But despite all our efforts to make him happy, the suite with an area of just 4000 square feet made him very upset," Jignesh recalled the incidents that took place earlier today.
Making his intentions clear to the person living in the adjacent suite, Xi Jinping started with sending his personal security guards carrying one of his suitcases and a small Chinese flag.
Chinese guards forcibly entered the next suite, roamed there for couple of minutes and finally came out after putting Xi Jinping's suitcase and Chinese flag inside, hotel sources tell Faking News.
"Later, Xi Jinping with help of his guards started breaking the wall between both suites, and within half an hour they combined them to make a Super Presidential Suite," Jignesh revealed.
If Chinese sources are to be believed, it's not the first time Xi Jinping had indulged in in such an act.
"Once in Japan, he encroached on the hotel suite just above his suite by blowing up the floor ceiling," disclosed a Chinese source, whom we don't believe.
Meanwhile alerted by Xi Jinping's deeds, central government has immediately ordered authorities in Delhi to do the required changes in the hotel where Chinese President was scheduled to stay. It's not yet clear whether it means building a stronger wall between suites or giving the President the entire hotel.
However, after multiple round of meetings, government has finally decided to play it safe by making Xi Jinping stay at Ramlila Maidan.
"A big tent house is being created covering whole of Ramlila Maidan. I don't think Chinese President will complain anymore seeing tents and open areas," said an optimistic central government official, "And the maidan will further remind him of democratic rallies and dharnas, something that will keep will distracted and puzzled."
WMD
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- Jan 2, 2013
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- 624
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- 794
A little Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown"
The little Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him......The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?"
The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................ I'm 7 ft tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each....and my name is Turner Brown"
The Irishman says: "Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus.........I thought you said,"Turn around!"
The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown"
The little Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him......The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?"
The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................ I'm 7 ft tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each....and my name is Turner Brown"
The Irishman says: "Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus.........I thought you said,"Turn around!"
Ashutosh Lokhande
Senior Member
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- May 28, 2014
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Logic. .... î•.
Teacher was teaching Mahabaratha to 6th std students.
"Kans heard devaki's 8th son wud kill him. So he put devaki & vasudev in prison.
1st child was born. Kans killed it by poison.
2nd Kans killed by sword.
3rd was born n so on...
At this point a boy raised his hand for a doubt.
Teacher : What?
Boy : "If kans knew that the 8th son wud kill him, why did he put devaki & vasudev in SAME jail?"
Teacher fainted!!!
Teacher was teaching Mahabaratha to 6th std students.
"Kans heard devaki's 8th son wud kill him. So he put devaki & vasudev in prison.
1st child was born. Kans killed it by poison.
2nd Kans killed by sword.
3rd was born n so on...
At this point a boy raised his hand for a doubt.
Teacher : What?
Boy : "If kans knew that the 8th son wud kill him, why did he put devaki & vasudev in SAME jail?"
Teacher fainted!!!
Ashutosh Lokhande
Senior Member
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sesha_maruthi27
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