Jokes Thread

[Kunal Biswas]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

 

[ALBY]

 

[ALBY]

 

[ALBY]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

 

[W.G.Ewald]

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that is red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes," the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

 

[W.G.Ewald]

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

 

[SADAKHUSH]

found on net


A little Indian Boy wanted Rs50, so he prayed 4 weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided 2 write a letter 2 God requesting Rs50.

When post office staff received a letter addressed 2 God, they forwarded it 2 the President.

... ... President was so amused, she instructed her secretary 2 send the little boy Rs 20.
As she thought Rs50 would be a lot of
money for him.

The little boy was delighted with Rs20 & decided 2 write a thank u note 2 God.


'Dear God, Thank u very much 4 sending d money. However,
I noticed dat u ev sent it through 'Rashtrapati Bhavan' (Through Government Building) & those corrupt donkeys ate my 30 rupees! '



*A practical example of how the human mind works*

Analysis of the Below picture can tell us a lot about how different people think.
- For young men, it's a picture of a lady with a nice arse but only the most observant will notice that she is crossing a street.

- The really observant will notice that she is wearing a thong.

- For older men, she appears to be a respectable woman - with a nice arse - on her way to work.

- The perverts among them will imagine her naked.

- Wiser men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer to take the shot in the face of such beauty and be grateful that they shared it with humanity.

- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.

- The other half will think she is a slut but wonder where she bought that blouse.

- Older women will imagine the misery that the woman's arse will cause by the time she reaches 50.

- But only children, the extremely intelligent and the celibate will notice that the taxi is being driven by a dog.

One can see these kind of ladies from time to time in the shopping malls as well. I was transfixed on her did not notice the dog driving the taxi till I came to the line of yours. One of the best jokes. Thank you.

 

[utubekhiladi]

a video that i made long long ago

Pakistan Express yourself - most inspiring commercial (A.R rahman)

 

[SHASH2K2]

a video that i made long long ago

Pakistan Express yourself - most inspiring commercial (A.R rahman)

I am going to share this video and I am sure number of views for this video will go up .

 

[utubekhiladi]

I am going to share this video and I am sure number of views for this video will go up .

thank you this video has stopped getting any views

 

[SpArK]

 

[SpArK]

 

[SpArK]

 

[amitkriit]

Read this somewhere:
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.

One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.

He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on!

The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'

 

[utubekhiladi]

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'

hahahaha

 

[amitkriit]

Zimbabwean orders prostitute; daughter arrives
A man in Zimbabwe called for a prostitute and was answered by his daughter. Not exactly every father's dream.

Titus Ncube from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, called for a prostitute to his hotel room and fell to the ground in shock and horror when the young woman who arrived at his door was his own daughter, according to the Zimbabwe News.

His daughter, age 20, responded by running away from the hotel.

This is the second prostitute story to come out of Zimbabwe recently. A man was arrested in Zimbabwe last month for having sex with a donkey, who he claimed was originally a prostitute. He then explained that he and the donkey had fallen in love :shocked:.

 

[W.G.Ewald]