Jokes Thread

[W.G.Ewald]

 

[W.G.Ewald]

^^

Okay, THAT was certainly embarrassing. At the end of a joint news conference with Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte in the Netherlands on Tuesday, the applause for Barack Obama came from a grand total of one guy. One.

After thanking the crowd twice for suffering through his boring, standard worn-out spiel, Obama looked around the room, expecting the usual fanfare and applause he receives from his loyal followers back home. It never came.

Instead, the Leader of the Free World was met with one slow, awkward clap.

Barack Obama Knows Now What It’s Like to Give a Speech Where Only One Man Claps

 

[Dark Sorrow]

http://i0.wp.com/dailytechwhip.com/...-president-to-switch-seats.jpg?resize=500,906

 

[ramakrishna]

wanna hear a joke...PAK BATTING LINE UP

haha ... rofl ....

 

[ramakrishna]

http://i0.wp.com/dailytechwhip.com/...-president-to-switch-seats.jpg?resize=500,906

wife will be wife whoever you are

 

[Neil]

Royal Bhutan Air Force

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...282.1073741827.208838092630050&type=1&theater


check out the posts... it freaking hilarious.

 

[BangersAndMash]

How does a pakistani woman fight terrorism?
She has an abortion.


The local pakistani opticians has closed down.
Asif I care.

 

[Jagdish58]

i bet who ever watches will laugh his a** off hhahahahahaah

 

[Razor]

Putin responds to some journalist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ux3oiWELIQ



BS doesn't work on Putin.

 

[JBH22]

Rowdies 9 - Sab Q-tiyapa hai !




Boss best parody. Laughed hard

 

[Dark Sorrow]

 

[cobra commando]

When do Jews go swimming?
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When "it Israeli hot" !

 

[Dark Sorrow]

 

[Dark Sorrow]

 

[ramakrishna]

Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish.

The first blonde says, "I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island." Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island.

The second sees what happens and says "I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!" She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off.

Finally, the third blonde says "I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island." She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge

 

[Peter]

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Royal-Bhutan-Air-Force/208838092630050?fref=hovercard

From the fake Royal Bhutanese Facebook Page

Nuclear bomb to be detonated on the Moon by Bhutan (Pattaya Daily News)

Paro: The Kingdom of Bhutan initiated an ambitious project, which no other country would dare to attempt. The concept is called Project Chophel, which has the aim of detonating a nuclear bomb on the Moon. Bhutanese officials claim this would help answer some of the mysteries in planetary astronomy and astrogeology, besides intimidating the rest of the world with Bhutan's technological progress and military power. The plan is in the process of development since 2009 by the Royal Bhutan Air Force and the Royal Bhutan Space Agency.

The existence of the Bhutanese project was revealed on 19 April 2014 by Samdup Palden, the executive of the Royal Bhutan Space Agency (RBSA), who is leading the project since 2012. "This shall be a glorious demonstration of the Imperial Might of the Thunder Dragon in space. This shall strike terror in the hearts and minds of Bhutan's enemies for all eternity." said Palden.

"The flash of explosive light would be faintly visible to people on earth with their naked eye, which would be a show of force resulting in a possible boosting of domestic morale in the capabilities of Bhutan, a boost that is needed after the United States took an early lead in the Space Race and who were also working on a similar project." said Dr. Wangdu Tenzin, a researcher working for the RBSA.

In 2009, the King Ugyen Research Foundation, based at the Royal Institute of Technology in Thimphu, began studying the effects of nuclear explosions on the Moon. The main objective of the program, which runs under the auspices of the Royal Bhutan Air Force, which had initially proposed it, is to cause a nuclear explosion that would be visible from Earth. It was hoped that such a display would boost the morale of the Bhutanese nation in particular, and Buddhists in general.

Scientists are considering using a hydrogen bomb for the project. The hydrogen bomb would be carried by a rocket toward the unlit side of the Moon, near the terminator, where it would detonate on impact. The dust cloud resulting from the explosion would be lit by the Sun and therefore visible from Earth. According to Dr. Tenzin, Bhutan's progress in the development of intercontinental ballistic missiles would make the launch feasible by 2015.

Not surprisingly, Project Chophel faced considerable criticism from Western countries. According to Martin Powell from the NASA, "A detonation of a nuclear warhead on the Moon would provoke a militarized space race between Bhutan and other world powers, which is exactly what the United States wanted to avoid during the Cold War with the Soviet Union." US Secretary of State John Kerry has lambasted the Bhutanese project, "Bhutan is not only threatening the position of the United States on Earth, but now the tyrant King Jigme Khesar has the audacity to do the same in space, which was our domain for the past 60 years." However, Bhutan does not seem to be deterred by this prospect. Prime Minister Tshering Tobgay has hinted that King Jigme Khesar has the megalomaniac intention to provoke the militarization of space with Bhutan making the first step in this field. In reaction to these developments, Hamid Fazeli, the administrator of the Iranian Space Agency, has announced that Iran will commence on working on a project to conduct a nuclear test on Mars.

 

[Glint]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0OFP9JsS9Ek/T8RxiDMhcfI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/B1vy5deoo_0/s1600/541668_427410357274810_284701571545690_1992157_663810952_n.jpg

 

[Dark Sorrow]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

Re: Chit Chat thread


:shocked:

 

[Kunal Biswas]

Re: Chit Chat thread

And DFI erupts....

@civfanatic: The chicken fearlessly crossing the road is a proof that the rise of the Buddhist Soviet empire is around the corner.
@LurkerBaba likes it.

@Iamanidiot: Just checked it on Twitter. Its due to the Brahmins.
@parijataka: That doesn't make sense at all. Please elaborate the one-liner.
@MadIndian: I knew it. Castism is the reason that chicken was forced to cross the road. Give the chicken some reservation.
@SPIEZ jumps into the argument and then next few pages, he and @MadIndian debate voraciously about Brahminism.

@KS exclaims that as hens have been represented in Indian mythology, chicken running away is symbolic of Hinduism being under threat in India. He asks everyone to stop minority appeasement so that the chicken can stay in its home without fear of the Muslims.
@rock127 likes it
@Dovah Asks @KS if he has checked the latest menu at KFC. It's awesome!
@Messaih: The only advantage of hyping a chicken crossing the road is to the right wing party. This is a BJP conspiracy.
@KS and @Messaih fight it out.
@nrj intervenes saying both Congress and BJP are criminals.

@nimo_cn: Obviously, the chicken feels humiliated by the oppression it faces daily in India and so it is trying to escape.
@ice berg likes it

@Ray: Explains what a hen and a cock is and then wonders aloud if that road had become news-worthy simply because it was built using Chinese equipment
@W.G.Ewald likes it.

Chinese members jump on @ray.

@Yusuf: What that chicken did was nothing! Look at this video of the chicken that I recorded using my iPhone. The clarity is amazing, isn't it?

@tony4562: Chickens in India are so dark. Chinese ones are fair and so are healthy.
@Armand2REP: huh... Chinese chickens are fair because they are fed with shit. If India wants its chicken to cross the road safely, it should get the French to build proper bridges.

@no smoking: Pastes pictures of Indian toilets
@farhan_9909 likes it
@Blackwater pastes pictures of Pakistani toilets.
@Defcon 1 asks @Blackwater to stop it.

@p2prada: Obviously chicken crossing over becomes news because of the pathetic roads we have. I'm sure DRDO had a hand in building that road.
@ersakthivel: Jumps into the argument by collecting links of different birds and animals crossing the road safely in India and asking @p2prada why only the chickens should have issue?
@Damian: Announces that the design of Indian chickens are faulty and so they take ages to cross the road. He blames the poor strength of the legs for this problem and then asks the members to see for themselves in the pic he has posted. Posts the picture of an Indian snake.
@methos likes it

@ersakthivel and @Damian argue for the next 10 pages.
@Kunal Biswas intervenes and threatens to fire at anyone who posts in an unacceptable manner!
@Shaitan posts images of different types of cocks in India.

@Rage puts up a detailed post on how the chicken crossing the road does not have any effect on India's Nuclear NFU policy.

@Agnostic Muslim comments that everyone was simply jumping to conclusions based on a picture that the chicken had indeed crossed the road. As he was not present there while that happened, he isn't convinced.
@Asim Aquil retorts that @Agnostic Muslim was attacking his website to cover up the act of the chicken crossing the road.
DFI gets DDOSed and goes offline for a few hours.

@Bangalorean says that he thought the thread was about chiks!
@Razor asks him to paste pics of chiks rather than talk about chiks!
@blank_quest likes it

@sayareakd measures the size of the chicken's legs, shows the orientation of the chickens shadow against the sun in the background and proves that the pic was not taken in India.
@pmaitra explains the same thing in technical jargon.

@Singh closes the thread as there was no link pasted along with the OP.

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Source : http://defenceforumindia.com/forum/members-corner/46220-chicken-crosses-road.html