Jokes Thread

[Daredevil]

A married couple go to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.
The counselor sits them on the couch and says "For starters, lets
talk about something you both have in common."
The husband says "Well, neither of us suck d***".

 

[Daredevil]

Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he
was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife,
so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and
watched the couples around them, following their leads.

He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a
sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar,
sugar?"

Joe thought this was great and continued to listen
around the dining room. Another table over Joe
observed the following. A man spooned out some honey
out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?"

Again Joe thought this was good stuff.

Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared
longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"

 

[KS]

 

[W.G.Ewald]

Rambama

Herobuilders | Rambama Action Figure | Obama Seal Team Six Action Figure

 

[W.G.Ewald]

In her final illness, Lady Nancy Astor awoke on her deathbed to see her family at her bedside.

Her last words were, "Am I dying, or is this my birthday?"

 

[W.G.Ewald]

Last words of Humphrey Bogart:

"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis."

 

[Singh]

Last words of Humphrey Bogart:

"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis."

more scotch is consumed in India than is produced.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

"Only you have ever understood me. "¦ And you got it wrong..."

Last words of Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel, said to his favorite student.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

Bob Hope was asked on his deathbed by his wife where he wanted to be buried.

"Surprise me."

 

[W.G.Ewald]

"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"
Karl Marx, asked by his housekeeper what his last words were.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

"All right then, I'll say it: Dante makes me sick."

Lope de Vega, famous playwright, on being assured that the end was very near.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

"Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

Voltaire, when asked by a priest to renounce Satan

 

[amitkriit]

 

[KS]

^^ Epic

 

[amitkriit]

People don't have mercy any more?

 

[KS]

Amit you cracked me up...

 

[plugwater]

Funniest i ve ever seen among yahoo Q&A, I posted this long back in this thread!!

 

[KS]

Among the three I vote # 2669 as the craziest.

Absolute genius.

 

[niharjhatn]

 

[W.G.Ewald]