DFI Jokes

[ahmedsid]

Did ritesh tell you about him creating a fake troll id just to grant your wish to ban someone?

Sh*t!!!! That was him??? I am so damn Sad now! I had written on my Online Diary that day

" Today, 3rd of March, I banned a troll, I felt utmost satisfaction. I pray to God I get to ban such people everyday!"

Sheesh, i should have banned Ritesh!

 

[Daredevil]

If AhmedSid is a Supermod and bans the trolls and spammers, there is a 'guru' to AhmedSid who taught all these tricks and the guru is A.V.. Let's see some facts about this guru.

1) A.V. introduced the concept of banning on all the forums.

2) A.V. can ban the trolls and spammers with his eyes closed.

3) A.V. bans the trollers and spammers faster than the speed of sound/light.

4) A.V. can also ban the moderators.

5) A.V. can drive the car with one hand while banning the trollers with other hand.

6) A.V. creates spammers and trollers and bans them.

7) If you give A.V. access to the forum and 0.000000000000000000001th second, he can still ban 100 spammer and trollers.

8) When cooking noodles, A.V bans spammers and trollers equivalent to the number of noodles.

9) Some people say A.V. is a myth, those people are banned now.

10) A.V. registers on other forums and bans the administrators and moderators.

Note: This is done only in good humor, don't take it otherwise.

 

[Yusuf]

Hights of imagination.!!!

 

[thakur_ritesh]

now only if that was true dd would it have been fun, you need to work harder on avi!

 

[Daredevil]

Yusuf and Ritesh, your turn is not far away. Have to do little bit differently, lest it will be monotonous

 

[Sabir]

See Ahmedsid's location ...what he has written there..."Location: Lots of Places- Travelling around Basically!" ..........he is a real BANjara ....

 

[Yusuf]

Yusuf and Ritesh, your turn is not far away. Have to do little bit differently, lest it will be monotonous

Well I'm not as colorful a personality as ahmed. Most I do is issue a warning and ask to cut the crap. Ahmed does the banning.

 

[ahmedsid]

Well I'm not as colorful a personality as ahmed. Most I do is issue a warning and ask to cut the crap. Ahmed does the banning.

LoL now I am the villain! lol I am the official hitman of DFI, i dont need to issue petty warnings/infractions! Ask the people who I have banned if they ever got a Warning! Oops they cant tell, coz they are BANNED! LOL

On a serious note, I take pleasure in Banning trolls Gives me much satisfaction! LOL

 

[natarajan]

who has power to ban ahmed ?:blum3:

 

[A.V.]

non of the dfi staff can be banned not even by each other

 

[ahmedsid]

non of the dfi staff can be banned not even by each other

I was thinking of Banning myself in the end, when I am finished with all the trolls! It was like a really good emotional Scene I had in mind.

I will post a thread saying, "My Job here is done fellow people, Now it is time for me to attain higher salvation. Time for me to go in search of trolls elsewhere, where they graze on hot threads! Do not cry for me, for I bring this upon myself, Do not cheer for me, because I still can come back and BAN YOU!!!"

How is the emotional scene? Did you get all teary eyed? ! Too bad, none of us can ban each other lol even ourselves! lol

 

[Sabir]

May be 1.44 would try to stop you singing .."Na jao saiyan...Chhurake baiyan..."

 

[ppgj]

See Ahmedsid's location ...what he has written there..."Location: Lots of Places- Travelling around Basically!" ..........he is a real BANjara ....

also for his imperial banning habits may safely be termed-BANtsar(a).

 

[1.44]

A.V, Ahmedsid, 1.44 and thakur_ritesh are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. thakur_ritesh and A.V are sitting there looking perplexed. ahmedsid is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

ritesh is thinking: “Some of these mods (ahmedsid )are all crazy after 1.44(The hottest guy on the forum). ahmedsid must have tried to kiss him in the tunnel. Very proper that he slapped him(As 1.44 is straight)”

1.44 is thinking: “ahmedsid must have moved to kiss me(As he's the night mod with some questionable preferences), and kissed thakur_ritesh instead and got slapped.”

ahmedsid is thinking: “Damn! it, thakur_ritesh must have tried to kiss 1.44, he thought it was me and slapped! me.”

AV (Who's job is to control/and protect members from all the mod's urges and is pissed off at ahmed for the shoutbox complaints) is thinking: “If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap ahmedsid again.”

************************************************************************
Adapted from a Musharraf joke
Hope you guys don't mind

P.S : Don't Hate Me

 

[natarajan]

lets stop targeting mods,suuupermods and admin, as usual we will target sarderji
sardarji: went to a interview for cbi post:
Interviewer:who killed gandhiji?
sardarji: thanks for giving me first assignment,i will start the inverstigation
Interviewer:!!

 

[Sabir]

lol...Natarajan this thread is researved for DFI internal affairs.

 

[Sabir]

Six Gems in DFI

Math Prodigy - Definitely Badguy. Oneday in shout box he proved his knowledge specially in Permutation and Combination by calling Pintu by all possible combinations that the letters can make…Punti, Putni, Putin, …and so on.

Efficient Entrepreneur - LF……..when real estate market was collapsing in US and house owners were under stress (because there was no buyers) LF who was also a house owner, promptly converted several houses to mental asylums for economic crisis victims….and coverd his own loss from the proceedings.

Marketing Guru- John. You ask him, he will sell Super Hornet even to the Eskimos.

Master of Puzzle- OOE. We often have to PM other MPs to help us to decode his posts. May be someday Badguy will solve his swimming pool and neutron bomb puzzle.

The Hollow man- AV...You can feel his presence in the forum but you cant see him.

Super Optimist- 1.44 , It will be clear from following conversation during MotM campaign –
1.44- Vote me. Only I have a superlative degree among the contenders
- How?
1.44- I am the stupidest among the lot.

 

[Sabir]

From my first post ( and later some contributions from DD) the members have assumed that Ahmedsid is nothing but a ruthless banning machine. But they should know the soft side of Ahmedsid too-


Ahmedsid is full of humors. His name is being considered for Guinness Book of World Record for maximum use of the abbreviation ….”LOL” in shout box.

Ahmedsid always un-ban the member’s ID after banning the IP Address.

In his diary on 29 Feb, 2009 Ahmedsid deeply regretted for the banned members.

Ahmedsid has been awarded by several government and private organizations to increase their employee’s output.

Ahmedsid never bans anyone on 1st April.

When he is in doubt whether to ban a member or not he always leave it on the fate of that particular member by tossing a coin ( It is the same coin he borrowed from Sholay’s Amitabh Bachchan)

On a rare occasion he gave the option to a Chinese member to answer three questions appropriately and be saved. The questions and answers were as follows-

Ahmedsid- Which large ship sank on 14th April, 1912 ?

Chinese- Titanic

Ahmedsid- How many people died?

Chinese- 1517.

Ahmedsid- Tell me their names.

 

[ahmedsid]

Sabir should be given the award for the max number of good jokes on this thread! Loved the 3 Questions to the chinese guy!!!

Rohit, stop borrowing musharaf jokes and take a lesson out of sabir! hehehehehhe

I wont be using "LOL" anymore! Its causing me much problem in real life too! Last time a friend said a joke to me, I didnt laugh, I said "lol" and ended it!

 

[Sabir]

I wont be using "LOL" anymore! Its causing me much problem in real life too! Last time a friend said a joke to me, I didnt laugh, I said "lol" and ended it!