Jokes Thread

[bhramos]

Boy txts his gf: kal date pe tum mujhe kiss do gi?

Girl: nahi kisi ne dekh liya tou?

Boy: koi nahi dekhey ga.. bharosa rakho mujh per

Girl: Ok de doon gi

Boy: choosnay b do gi?

Girl: ok choos lena

After 20 mints

boy texts: yeh sab ghalat hai...

main tumhein touch bhi nahi karna chahta.......

Girl:

mujhe pata hai tune muth maar li hai kuttay

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

Gf: " jaan socha call kar loon,

tum mujhe miss kar rhe hoge.",,,,,,,,,,
.
.
Bf: " kamini abhi 15 min pehle to ladai karke bethii h mere se...

aur ek dm se itna pyar kaise aa rha h ?
.
.
.
.
.
Gf: maa ki ankh, fir tera no. Lag gya kaminey

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

Boy & Girl Playing Ludo

Boy:" Agar 1 se 5 me aaya to
I Kiss u

Girl:" What ??
Acha aur 6 Aaya To
.
.
.
.
Boy:" Kabi Ludo Nahi Kheli Kya 6 Aaya To dubara meri bari...

 

[bhramos]

History Ki Teacher Ne Pappu Ko Khada
Kiya Aur Sawal Puchha....

Teacher: " Batao Ganga Kahan Se Nikalti
Hai Aur Kaha Ja Ke Milti Hai???
"
Pappu: " Madam, Ganga School Ke
Bahane Ghar Se Nikalti Hai Aur Mandir
Ke Piche Vivek Se Jaakar Milti Hai."

** Pappu Rockx!!

 

[bhramos]

 

[bhramos]

**FUNNY FULL FORMS OF IT COMPANIES**

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for
Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN: Beggars Association And Nerds

8. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM: Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM: Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of
Microprocessors

11. C-DOT: Coffee During Office Timings

12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort

13. DELL: Deplorable Equipment & lacklusters

14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India.

15. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting
with Lady Employees

 

[bhramos]

Sonia, Manmohan Singh & Chidambaram travelling in a helicopter....

Sonia drops a 100 Rs note & says, "I made one poor Indian happy."

Singh drops two 50 Rs notes & says "I made two poor Indians happy."

Finally Chidambaram drops 100 coins of one rupee & says "I made 100 poor Indians happy."

Hearing this the pilot laughs & says "I shud drop all three of you down and make 125 crore Indians happy."

 

[VIP]

Ladki ne apne Boyfriend ko phone kiya to uske 10 saal ke bhatije ne phone uthaya.

Ladki: Apne Uncle ko phone do.

Bacha: Aap ka naam?

Ladki: Apne uncle se kaho un ki Jaan-E-Man ka phone hai.

Bachhe ne masumiyat se kaha: Lekin Aunty Mobile pe to Randi likha hua hai.

 

[VIP]

Moms in Group Therapy
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "Mary, you are obsessed
with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom: "Ann, your obsession is
with money. Again it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom: "Joyce, your obsession is alcohol.This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Willy from school and go get dinner."

 

[VIP]

Ek aadmi sadak se nikla to ek kutta-Kutiya Se sex ki koshish kar rahe tha.
..
Lekin kutta chota tha jis ki waja s sahi Jagah tak pahunch nahi raha tha.
..
Aadmi ne uski help ki or kutte ko kutiya par chadhaya.
..
Dusre din aadmi wahain se guzra to kutta uske piche jane laga.
Jahan jaye, kutta uske piche-piche Jaye.
..
To Logo n pucha ye aapke piche kyun ghum raha hai to aadmi ne kaha maine iss harami ke saath bhalai ki & ye kamina mujhe Dalal samajh raha hai.

================================================== ==================================

Best Reply Given By A True Friend,

When Asked To Pay The Bill Of Canteen.

Lauda Le Bhosdi ke"¦

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[DEJAVU]

why I was suspended???

 

[DEJAVU]

@dare devil or Kunal???

 

[Neil]

ex girlfriend...::hey... how are u doing theses days...??

Boy...:: haath se [ with hand ]

 

[VIP]

 

[cobra commando]