blank_quest
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Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Daredevil
- Start date
blank_quest
Senior Member
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Rajinikanth got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions" He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Spiderman, Superman and Batman visit Rajinikanth on every Teacher's Day.
----------------------------------
When ghosts go camping, they sit around the fire and tell stories about Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
----------------------------------
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
----------------------------------
Even Ghajini remembers Rajini!
----------------------------------
In the swordsmanship competition, the Chinese fighter split the hair into two pieces, the Japanese fighter slit the throat of the fly. Rajinikanth swung his sword at a mosquito but it kept flying. The Japanese fighter asked laughing: "The mosquito is flying!?" Rajinikanth smiled and said, "Rasscalaa it is flying but it will never be able to become a father!"
----------------------------------
Once Rajini asked a boy to shut up. Now the boy is known as Manmohan Singh!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
----------------------------------
An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
----------------------------------
After heavy jogging, Rajinikanth rested on a building and drank some water. That building is now known as the Leaning Tower Of Pisa!
----------------------------------
When Neil Armstrong arrived at moon, he had to borrow fuel from Rajini's fuel station, to reach back on Earth.
----------------------------------
Once a man ate Rajinikanth's breakfast. From then he is known as THE HULK!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth inserts his visiting card in any ATM and collects the cash!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
----------------------------------
Once Rajinikanth went to MTV Roadies and Raghu had to do the task!
---------------------------------
Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth is the only person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.
----------------------------------
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Spiderman, Superman and Batman visit Rajinikanth on every Teacher's Day.
----------------------------------
When ghosts go camping, they sit around the fire and tell stories about Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
----------------------------------
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
----------------------------------
Even Ghajini remembers Rajini!
----------------------------------
In the swordsmanship competition, the Chinese fighter split the hair into two pieces, the Japanese fighter slit the throat of the fly. Rajinikanth swung his sword at a mosquito but it kept flying. The Japanese fighter asked laughing: "The mosquito is flying!?" Rajinikanth smiled and said, "Rasscalaa it is flying but it will never be able to become a father!"
----------------------------------
Once Rajini asked a boy to shut up. Now the boy is known as Manmohan Singh!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
----------------------------------
An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
----------------------------------
After heavy jogging, Rajinikanth rested on a building and drank some water. That building is now known as the Leaning Tower Of Pisa!
----------------------------------
When Neil Armstrong arrived at moon, he had to borrow fuel from Rajini's fuel station, to reach back on Earth.
----------------------------------
Once a man ate Rajinikanth's breakfast. From then he is known as THE HULK!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth inserts his visiting card in any ATM and collects the cash!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
----------------------------------
Once Rajinikanth went to MTV Roadies and Raghu had to do the task!
---------------------------------
Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth is the only person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.
----------------------------------
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All the married ones, have a good laugh and all those eligible bachelors...
...BEWARE!!!
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started.
*******************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started.
******************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started.
****************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.
*******************************
My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
***************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of Olay cream for 700 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cream..
And then the fight started..
****************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere iv not been in a long time. So I took her to the kitchen. Then the fight started. =))
...BEWARE!!!
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started.
*******************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started.
******************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started.
****************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.
*******************************
My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
***************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of Olay cream for 700 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cream..
And then the fight started..
****************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere iv not been in a long time. So I took her to the kitchen. Then the fight started.
=))
Oracle
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As a squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier.
A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breath. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.
"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!'"
"He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!'"
"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breath. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.
"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!'"
"He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!'"
"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
Oracle
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Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said,
"So, what did you bring?"
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled, saying, "I brought these."
The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do with those?"
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating"¦"
"So, what did you bring?"
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled, saying, "I brought these."
The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do with those?"
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating"¦"
Aayush
Regular Member
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2012
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Some pakistan military records every Indian must know
1. The fastest speed a pakistani tank achieved.....
....during the battle of longewalla,running away
from indian air force
2.The greatest ever concentration of pakistani
armed forces personnels....
....more than 90,000,prisoner of war camp 1971
3.The deepest a pakistani submarine ever dived....
....a submarine called 'gaazi' when it was sunk by indian navy
Aaaaaaand...
1. The fastest speed a pakistani tank achieved.....
....during the battle of longewalla,running away
from indian air force
2.The greatest ever concentration of pakistani
armed forces personnels....
....more than 90,000,prisoner of war camp 1971
3.The deepest a pakistani submarine ever dived....
....a submarine called 'gaazi' when it was sunk by indian navy
Aaaaaaand...
blank_quest
Senior Member
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2012
- Messages
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SPIEZ
Senior Member
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2011
- Messages
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Rajinikanth got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions" He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Spiderman, Superman and Batman visit Rajinikanth on every Teacher's Day.
----------------------------------
When ghosts go camping, they sit around the fire and tell stories about Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
----------------------------------
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
----------------------------------
Even Ghajini remembers Rajini!
----------------------------------
In the swordsmanship competition, the Chinese fighter split the hair into two pieces, the Japanese fighter slit the throat of the fly. Rajinikanth swung his sword at a mosquito but it kept flying. The Japanese fighter asked laughing: "The mosquito is flying!?" Rajinikanth smiled and said, "Rasscalaa it is flying but it will never be able to become a father!"
----------------------------------
Once Rajini asked a boy to shut up. Now the boy is known as Manmohan Singh!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
----------------------------------
An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
----------------------------------
After heavy jogging, Rajinikanth rested on a building and drank some water. That building is now known as the Leaning Tower Of Pisa!
----------------------------------
When Neil Armstrong arrived at moon, he had to borrow fuel from Rajini's fuel station, to reach back on Earth.
----------------------------------
Once a man ate Rajinikanth's breakfast. From then he is known as THE HULK!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth inserts his visiting card in any ATM and collects the cash!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
----------------------------------
Once Rajinikanth went to MTV Roadies and Raghu had to do the task!
---------------------------------
Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth is the only person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.
----------------------------------
Booooring uncle YB!
Only one was worth it
Ash
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- May 5, 2011
- Messages
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I was in a pub last night and saw two large girls by the bar.
They both had strange accents so I said "Hello Are you two girls from
Scotland?"
One of them screamed "Its WALES you -----ing idiot!"
So I immediately apologised and said "Sorry are you two whales from
Scotland?"
They both had strange accents so I said "Hello Are you two girls from
Scotland?"
One of them screamed "Its WALES you -----ing idiot!"
So I immediately apologised and said "Sorry are you two whales from
Scotland?"
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