Jokes Thread

[Chittorgarh]

Hahaha blackwater this thread rocks. Great jokes

http://defenceforumindia.com/members/blackwater.html

 

[Blackwater]

Comedy Circus



: becky:

 

[Blackwater]

watch between 25 to 30seconds . Woman slapping herself

 

[Atlee]

Hahahaahahahahahaha Very funny

 

[Virendra]

Karachi LAW and ORDER ... Mind it !!!

 

[SHASH2K2]

Q:how to kill an ANT?

asked in exam for 5marks.

Student:- mix chilli powder wit sugar & keep it outside d ANT's hole.

After eating,ANT ll search 4 some water near a water tank.

push ANT into it. now ANT ll go 2 dry itself near fire. wen it reach
near fire,put a Bomb into fire.. Then u admit wounded ANT in ICU. remove
oxygen mask frm its mouth and kill d ANT...

Don't play with student .. we ll kill ANT for 15marks also..

 

[Singh]

 

[Ray]

Bangalore

9th Sept., 2011



Friends, here is an absolutely hilarious take on the government.



Got this from rediff posts..absolutely hilarious-



tring tring"¦. tring tring"¦.

Welcome to the Bomb explosion helpline of Home Department, Government of India.
Press 1 for latest bomb explosions
Press 2 to hear Home Minister's pre-recorded reaction.
Press 3 to hear Prime Minister's pre-recorded claims to condemn it and assurance to take strong action against culprits.
Press 4 to know whether anybody claimed responsibility for the explosion.
Press 5 to hear pre-recorded claim of Digvijay Singh blaming RSS for explosions.
Press 6 to know whether any terrorist has been arrested by mistake; please be assured the Congress would give him 5-star treatment.
Press 7 to hear messages like terrorism has no religion.
Press 8 if you want Rahul Gandhi to visit the poor in villages.
Press 9 if your relative has died in the explosion to hear Gandhiji's bhajan.
(eidted)
Thank you for calling. May God bless and protect you (edited ).

 

[Iamanidiot]

Dedicated to all dogs

 

[Kunal Biswas]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

Guy walks into the doctor's and says:

Doctor, doctor. Sometimes I think I'm a Wigwam other times I think I'm a Teepee.

Doctor says: The trouble with you is that you are too tents.

 

[JAISWAL]

.
[video]http://bit.ly/qyjk7b[/video]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Requesting a three day pass

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!" [/FONT]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

An insect falls into a mug of beer...

African : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Japanese : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.

Indian: Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, blames it as long term ISI operation, terms the insect as a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the beer and demand that US should declare Pakistan a terrorist state.

 

[Kunal Biswas]

Wow 0_o !

 

[JAISWAL]

His Fist KISS
.

 

[Kunal Biswas]

 

[Kunal Biswas]

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."


A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.


The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"


He replied, "They had eggs."

 

[Kunal Biswas]

A priest, the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and a smart Italian are standing on a street corner with a $100 bill at their feet. Who picks it up?

The priest, because the other three are non-existent.

 

[Kunal Biswas]

A man is sitting on his couch watching ESPN when his wife comes up and smacks him upside the head. "What was that for?!?" he asked.

"I was doing laundry when I found this piece of paper in your jeans... who the hell is Laura Lou?" his wife inquired furiously.

Without missing a beat, the man replied: "Oh babe, that's nothing. I went to the horse races last weekend with the guys and Laura Lou is the horse I was betting on."

"Oh, ok... I should've known better, dear." the wife said with a kiss to his cheek.

Two days later, the man was again watching TV when his wife beat him over the head with a cast-iron skillet, knocking him out cold. When he came to a few hours later, he asked his wife "What the hell was that for?!?"

Her response: "Your horse called."