Jokes Thread

[Daredevil]

Good Luck Mr. Gorsky



Author: unknown (I know this is written by a comedian, but I don't know
who). When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon,
he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for
mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic
between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he
re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr.
Gorsky."



Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival
Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the
Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned
Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but
Armstrong always just smiled.



Just last year, (on July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay FL ) while answering questions
following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to
Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and
so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.



When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's
bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr.
& Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard
Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll
get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

 

[SHASH2K2]

 

[SHASH2K2]

 

[SHASH2K2]

 

[tarunraju]

Another Rucka Rucka Ali classic:

 

[Singh]

Yaar me and my girlfriend had the mother of all breakups yesterday, she said my "sense of direction was causing problems in our relationship". Finally, tired and frustrated, I stood up, packed my things and right.

 

[Singh]

After a reconciliation my girlfriend said she can't bear me anymore because I never understand things between us.
I am so glad we're alright.

 

[Singh]

Now my girlfriend frustrated said that she's gonna leave me but before she did that, she is gonna make sure that my bank balance is ZERO.
That's awfully nice of her paying off my loans cause these days money is tight.

 

[Singh]

Well after my last thank yous to my girlfriend, she accused me of being so self-important. I nearly fell off my Singhaasan, in a fright.

 

[tarunraju]

Rucka protesting YouTube deleting his videos:

 

[RAM]

Well after my last thank yous to my girlfriend, she accused me of being so self-important. I nearly fell off my Singhaasan.

Mr singh dont be sad...pls check below a simple and schematic explanation of how a woman's brain works

http://www.lazydesis.com/funny-images-videos/219253-how-does-womans-brain-work.html#ixzz11EUBDoBP​

 

[tarunraju]

 

[RAM]

Rehman offers India security for CWGs


ISLAMABAD—Federal Interior Minister Rehman Malik phoned Indian Home Minister P Chidambaram and discussed progress in the trial of Mumbai attack case.According to a spokesman, Rehman Malik asked Chidambaram to provide Pakistan with access to the magistrate who recorded the statement of Ajmal Kasab, the investigating officer and postmortem report.It was also agreed that the last dossier received from India on some issues is under examination and will be responded to in due course of time.


Rehman Malik Interior congratulated his Indian counterpart on holding of Commonwealth games and wished him good luck. He assured him of Pakistani government's all-out support for maintaining law and order during the games and offerered India security for CWG.

 

[A.V.]

 

[RAM]

An Arab was interviewed in 1970 at US Embassy for visa


http://www.lazydesis.com/jokes/78729-arab-interviewed-us-embassy-visa.html#ixzz11hhnwqO9​

Embassy: Name, please?
Arab : Abu fatal al majid
Embassy: Sex?
Arab: Yez Every day
Embassy: I mean, male or female
Arab: Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel.
Embassy: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes cows n donkey, too.
Embassy: Man, isn`t that hostile?
Arab: Hostile, dogstyle, anystyle!
Embassy: oh dear!
Arab: No deer! A**hole too tight and they run fast.


http://www.lazydesis.com/jokes/78729-arab-interviewed-us-embassy-visa.html#ixzz11hheE1HW​

 

[Ray]

1) BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed.

2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not Ayodhya

3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal’s tally.

4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.

5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

6) Whats common between CWG committee and students???
Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour.....

7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi, this may be his last chance to become the king!

8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games! We now know these countries existed!

9) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away

10) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, its a Common Loot Game.
Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for me too, for spoiling India's name!

11) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters "Sir U made lakhs" you get "SURESH KALMADI

12) next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games

13)"Rain rain go away, Kalmadi wants to come out and play. Lyrics by M.S. Gill, Sung by Mani Shankar Aiyar, Music by A.R. Rahman!" goes an SMS doing the rounds.

14) CWG: Corruption Wali Games (via Rohit Kapoor)

15) Sign on CWG 100m race track ËœRun Slow, Work in Progress"

16)"Suresh Kalmadi must be the first choice if ISRO goes for trial and error experiments for manned space mission,"

17)Some jokes are even cleverly laden with context. Ahead of the Allahabad High Court Ayodhya verdict, a tweet doing the rounds was:
"Compromise proposal for Ayodhya: Let the Hindus construct a temple, but the project must be led by Kalmadi."

 

[plugwater]

 

[SHASH2K2]

 

[nrj]

New Apple products -

And finally

 

[bengalraider]

hahahahahah awesome man really!