Jokes Thread

[Sabir]

[mod]Racist word modified[/mod]Pakistani Earthquake
The news reported today that there has been a powerful earthquake in Pakistan last night, measuring 9.2 on the Richter scale. A reported 335,000 Pakastanis are confirmed dead and another 239,000 are missing.
The world is horrified by the event, and are rushing to aid Pakistan.
The United States is sending 10 billion dollars immediately with more expected to follow
The United Kingdom is sending food, clothing, and supplies to aid the suffering citizens.
Canada is sending 500,000 replacement Pakastanis.

 

[Sabir]

Inspector Wu

Inspector Wu,

the Chinese private detective, makes his report in a divorce case.

"I climb up tree, so I can see.
"He play with she, she play with he.
"I play with me. I fall from tree.
"So I can no see...so solly!"

 

[1.44]

Bihar Driving License
​

Bihar Driving License...
​

===================3D=========================3D==========
DRIVING LICENSE =PPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------ -----------------------


NOTE: Please do not soot =he person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) =n-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other =__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy =humb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on y our lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use =our thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht =and.

NOTE: IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
Bihar RTO

 

[Vinod2070]

YouTube - Meera Email Exchange with Husband

 

[peace123]

kyun ki yeh mira ki english he!!!

"u till me"

ohhhhh no jani nooo

doesn't it sound like she is doin....

 

[Daredevil]

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?'

HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'

WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'

HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'

WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'

HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'

WIFE: 'You would? (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'

HUSBAND: 'Sure. It's a great house.'

WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'

HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'

WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

HUSBAND: 'Probably. It is almost new.'

WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'

HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'

WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'

HUSBAND: 'No. I'm sure she'd want her own.'

WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you?'

HUSBAND: 'Yes. Those are always good times.'

WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?'

HUSBAND: 'No. She's left-handed.'

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: ' . . . Shit.'

 

[Daredevil]

Jeetu's Dad brought home a robot one day.

The robot had the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied.

Jeetu returned late from school.

Dad asked, "Son why are you late from school?"

"Dad, we had extra classes today".

Robot slapped Jeetu on his face.

Dad shouted, "Come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"

"Dad, I went to see the movie Ten Commandments."

Robot slapped Jeetu on his face.

Sorry dad, I went to see the movie "Chameli Ki Jawaani".

"Shame on you son, when I was your age, I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved."

Immediately, Dad gets a slap on the face from the robot.

Jeetu's mom comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband, "After all, he's your son!"

The robot slaps the mom.

 

[1.44]

Yo Mama Jokes

Some Yo mama jokes from the net​

Your mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed half my show.


Yo momma so poor I saw her running after a garbage truck with a shopping list.


Yo mama is so short you can see
her feet on her passport picture.


Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!

 

[1.44]

Yo mama so ugly when she threw a boomerang it never came back.


You mama is so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone!


You mama is so fat, when she lies on the beach Greenpeace try to push her back in the water.


Yo mama is so ugly the mirror did not make an reflection.

 

[1.44]

You mama is so fat when she when on the weighing scale it said, "One at a time please."


Yo mama is so old in her time Burger King was know as Burger Prince


Yo Mamma's so stupid, she heard it was chilly outside, and ran out with a bowl.


Yo mama is so poor, rainbows in her neighborhood are black and white.

 

[1.44]

Yo mama so stupid she stab her self with a shooting gun

Yo momma's so poor she cant even pay attention.


Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.


Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.


Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a wireless phone.

 

[1.44]

Yo mommma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued.


Your mum is so fat when she sat at the back of the bus it pulled a wheelie.


Your mums so fat when I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.


Yo momma is so fat god cant lift her spirit.

 

[1.44]

Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said a mosquito.


Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.


Yo mamma is so fat shes got her own postcode.


Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.

 

[1.44]

Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped !


Yo momma's so stupid when her son said break a leg, she really did.


Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.


Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.

 

[1.44]

Yo momma is so ugly when she tried to get into the ugly competition the judge's said "sorry,no professional's"


Yo momma is so fat she was walking down the street, tripped and broke her leg and gravy rolled out.


Yo momma is so poor that when I saw her last week walking down the street kicking a can so I asked what are you doing and she said "movin"


Yo mamma so fat the back of her neck looks like a 12 pack of hot dogs.

 

[1.44]

Yo mamma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck.


YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!


Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!


Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

 

[1.44]

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!


Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"


Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"


Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

 

[1.44]

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!


Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!



Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

 

[1.44]

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

 

[1.44]

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...