Did they WON the trip ....
Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Daredevil
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May be this guy needs to set his priorities right
More than a few times even the most beautiful girl becomes boring..!
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That was Oracle....Happens every day to him.
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The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fight.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.
When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long! Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp.
All the bookies took one look and predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute. As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog's tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise. The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!"
The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.
When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long! Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp.
All the bookies took one look and predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute. As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog's tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise. The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!"
The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
illusion8
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Two Pakistanis boarded a plane for Washington. One took the window seat, the
other sat on the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a fat Sardarji got on &
took the aisle seat next to them. He kicked of his shoes,wiggled his toes &
was settling in when the Pakistani in the window seat said, "I think I'll go
up & get a coke." "No problem," said the Sardar, "I'll get it for u." While
he was away, the Pakistani picked up the shoe & spat in it. When the Indian
returned with the coke, the other Pakistani said, "That looks good.I think
I'll have one too." Again, the Sardar obligingly went to fetch it. And while
he was gone, the Pakistani picked up the other shoe & spat in it. The Indian
returned with the coke & they all sat back & enjoyed the short flight to New
York. As the plane was landing the Indian slipped his feet into his shoes &
knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on," the Sardar
asked, with pain and sorrow. "This enmity between our people... this
hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes & pissing in the cokes!"
other sat on the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a fat Sardarji got on &
took the aisle seat next to them. He kicked of his shoes,wiggled his toes &
was settling in when the Pakistani in the window seat said, "I think I'll go
up & get a coke." "No problem," said the Sardar, "I'll get it for u." While
he was away, the Pakistani picked up the shoe & spat in it. When the Indian
returned with the coke, the other Pakistani said, "That looks good.I think
I'll have one too." Again, the Sardar obligingly went to fetch it. And while
he was gone, the Pakistani picked up the other shoe & spat in it. The Indian
returned with the coke & they all sat back & enjoyed the short flight to New
York. As the plane was landing the Indian slipped his feet into his shoes &
knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on," the Sardar
asked, with pain and sorrow. "This enmity between our people... this
hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes & pissing in the cokes!"
illusion8
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Ashraf, the Pakistani went to London's Heathrow airport to buy his ticket
back home to Rawalpindi.
At the counter he found that he was 10pence short of the fare. Having no
other way out, he turned to all the other passengers and begged.." Will
someone please give me 10 pence? I badly want to go back and meet my Abba
and Ammi again!
"Here" said a Sardar, reaching into his wallet and handing him one Pound
".....keep the change and take nine of your country men with you!"
back home to Rawalpindi.
At the counter he found that he was 10pence short of the fare. Having no
other way out, he turned to all the other passengers and begged.." Will
someone please give me 10 pence? I badly want to go back and meet my Abba
and Ammi again!
"Here" said a Sardar, reaching into his wallet and handing him one Pound
".....keep the change and take nine of your country men with you!"
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