Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Daredevil
- Start date
Bangalorean
Ambassador
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2010
- Messages
- 6,233
- Likes
- 6,854
^^ What an amateur attempt!! 
niharjhatn
Regular Member
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2010
- Messages
- 899
- Likes
- 391
Picking up on the theme of mentally deficit Republican presidential candidates... this one is a beauuuty 
I present... HERMAN CAIN
I present... HERMAN CAIN
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2009
- Messages
- 24,324
- Likes
- 11,757
Mallya announces austerity drive, Deepika will travel in Gareeb Rath
byVPagal Patrakar (FakingNews.com)
Bengaluru.VChairman of Kingfisher Airlines, Vijay Mallya has announced an "austerity drive" for his family and the whole group after Fly Kingfisher had to cancel various flights due toVliquidityVcrunch. The drive, clearly inspired from a similar drive undertaken by the UPA government a couple of years back, will go live next week and is aimed at saving money to pay for air traffic fuel and taxes.
"We will be spending less money and shaping up our figures," Siddharth Mallya, son of Vijay Mallya announced in a press conference. Siddharth has been given the charge of leading and implementing the austerity drive as earlier he had successfullyVshapedVup his own figure.
Vijay Mallya reacts to a question if he could sell off his stake in Force India or Royal Challengers Bangalore to meet the expenses of Fly Kingfisher
As part of the austerity drive, the Mallya family will live a very frugal life and will cut down on all expenses e.g. no member of the family will take part in any auction to buy used underwear of Michael Jackson.
Junior Mallya also announced that he and his actress girlfriend Deepika Padukone will travel from Bangalore to Jagannath Puri in Gareeb Rath, a low-cost air-conditioned train by Indian Railways, next week and seekVbailoutVdivine blessings from god.
"We will come back in Gareeb Rath as well," Siddharth informed, "And in future, we will always travel in trains – traveling in unreserved compartments and Mumbai local like Rahul Gandhi."
Deepika was not with Siddharth Mallya in the press conference, but family sources indicate that the Bollywood actress agreed to take part in the austerity drive after much persuasion. At one point of time, Deepika is reported to have shown Siddharth the "missed calls" list on her mobile that had names of Ranbir Kapoor and Yuvraj Singh.
"Siddharth panicked for a minute, but he recalled being onVIndia's Most DesirableVand regained his composure," a family source revealed.
Unconfirmed reports say that Deepika agreed to take part in this what she called "government like drama" only after she was promised ownership of 12 flats in the upcoming Millionaires' Paradise in Bangalore – a super-luxury apartmentVcomplexVbeing built on Vijay Mallya's ancestral land that will house only millionaires.
"Dr. Mallya is quite serious about such ongoing and unfinished projects that must not stop due to Fly Kingfisher crisis," a source in the UB group told Faking News.
Yana Gupta, the in-flight safety instructor on Kingfisher flights, has been made the brand ambassador of the austerity drive as she had earlier cut down on herVunderwearVexpenses; something that experts now believe was forewarning of the mess Fly Kingfisher has now got into.
The austerity drive will go live next Monday after a grand launch party organized by the Mallyas to celebrate their new found way of life. Suhel Seth will be live tweeting the events, sources say.
byVPagal Patrakar (FakingNews.com)
Bengaluru.VChairman of Kingfisher Airlines, Vijay Mallya has announced an "austerity drive" for his family and the whole group after Fly Kingfisher had to cancel various flights due toVliquidityVcrunch. The drive, clearly inspired from a similar drive undertaken by the UPA government a couple of years back, will go live next week and is aimed at saving money to pay for air traffic fuel and taxes.
"We will be spending less money and shaping up our figures," Siddharth Mallya, son of Vijay Mallya announced in a press conference. Siddharth has been given the charge of leading and implementing the austerity drive as earlier he had successfullyVshapedVup his own figure.
Vijay Mallya reacts to a question if he could sell off his stake in Force India or Royal Challengers Bangalore to meet the expenses of Fly Kingfisher
As part of the austerity drive, the Mallya family will live a very frugal life and will cut down on all expenses e.g. no member of the family will take part in any auction to buy used underwear of Michael Jackson.
Junior Mallya also announced that he and his actress girlfriend Deepika Padukone will travel from Bangalore to Jagannath Puri in Gareeb Rath, a low-cost air-conditioned train by Indian Railways, next week and seekVbailoutVdivine blessings from god.
"We will come back in Gareeb Rath as well," Siddharth informed, "And in future, we will always travel in trains – traveling in unreserved compartments and Mumbai local like Rahul Gandhi."
Deepika was not with Siddharth Mallya in the press conference, but family sources indicate that the Bollywood actress agreed to take part in the austerity drive after much persuasion. At one point of time, Deepika is reported to have shown Siddharth the "missed calls" list on her mobile that had names of Ranbir Kapoor and Yuvraj Singh.
"Siddharth panicked for a minute, but he recalled being onVIndia's Most DesirableVand regained his composure," a family source revealed.
Unconfirmed reports say that Deepika agreed to take part in this what she called "government like drama" only after she was promised ownership of 12 flats in the upcoming Millionaires' Paradise in Bangalore – a super-luxury apartmentVcomplexVbeing built on Vijay Mallya's ancestral land that will house only millionaires.
"Dr. Mallya is quite serious about such ongoing and unfinished projects that must not stop due to Fly Kingfisher crisis," a source in the UB group told Faking News.
Yana Gupta, the in-flight safety instructor on Kingfisher flights, has been made the brand ambassador of the austerity drive as she had earlier cut down on herVunderwearVexpenses; something that experts now believe was forewarning of the mess Fly Kingfisher has now got into.
The austerity drive will go live next Monday after a grand launch party organized by the Mallyas to celebrate their new found way of life. Suhel Seth will be live tweeting the events, sources say.
mki
Regular Member
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2011
- Messages
- 295
- Likes
- 197
Our neighbor pakistan will give up terrorism, and in honesty index pakistan is on top of the honest country, most peace loving in entire world..... it will be super power in 2030.... Pakistan will show growth of 19% and will lead the world to prosperity, peace, communal and religious harmony..
Last but least,
Pakistan will be the first country who will start human settlement on moon and send their scientist to the other planet on this universe.
Last but least,
Pakistan will be the first country who will start human settlement on moon and send their scientist to the other planet on this universe.
SPIEZ
Senior Member
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2011
- Messages
- 3,508
- Likes
- 1,021
Again from our friendly neighbours.
FICTIONAL STORY OF JF17 vs SU 30 MKI.( that too it seems it was from CDF)
JF 17 wins hands down, apparently said by a Chinese.
That when Su30 is the mainstay of Chinese airforce and they don't even have a squadron of JF 17.
FICTIONAL STORY OF JF17 vs SU 30 MKI.( that too it seems it was from CDF)
JF 17 wins hands down, apparently said by a Chinese.
That when Su30 is the mainstay of Chinese airforce and they don't even have a squadron of JF 17.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2010
- Messages
- 4,768
- Likes
- 10,311
"America coined JF-17 Thunder aircraft project a 'paper project' but we successfully completed it within a record time of two and half years with a 15-member team as compared to Indian's Light Combat Aircraft project that was not completed in 15 years with the help of 80 institutions," he added.
-former Vice Chief of Air Staff and founder of Pakistani aircraft JF-17 Thunder, Shahid Lateef
Daily Times - Leading News Resource of Pakistan
Monday, November 14, 2011
tofa kabul karo
-former Vice Chief of Air Staff and founder of Pakistani aircraft JF-17 Thunder, Shahid Lateef
Daily Times - Leading News Resource of Pakistan
Monday, November 14, 2011
tofa kabul karo
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2009
- Messages
- 43,132
- Likes
- 23,836
Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.
More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush,". and.......
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.
Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Last one.
What do you see?
ou probably read the word ME in brown, but.......
when you look through ME
you will see
YOU!
Do you need to look again?
More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush,". and.......
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.
Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Last one.
What do you see?
ou probably read the word ME in brown, but.......
when you look through ME
you will see
YOU!
Do you need to look again?
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2009
- Messages
- 43,132
- Likes
- 23,836
Please say grace before drinking.
THE BEER PRAYER
OUR LAGER,
WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BE THY DRINK.
THY WILL BE DRUNK,
(I WILL BE DRUNK),
AT HOME AS IN THE TAVERN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE US OUR SPILLAAGES,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL,
AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT INTO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE BEER,
THE BITTER AND THE LAGER,
FOR EVER AND EVER,
BARMEN.
THE BEER PRAYER
OUR LAGER,
WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BE THY DRINK.
THY WILL BE DRUNK,
(I WILL BE DRUNK),
AT HOME AS IN THE TAVERN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE US OUR SPILLAAGES,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL,
AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT INTO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE BEER,
THE BITTER AND THE LAGER,
FOR EVER AND EVER,
BARMEN.
| Thread starter | Similar threads | Forum | Replies | Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
History memes and Jokes thread | History & Culture | 33 | |
| D | Defence, Geopolitics memes and jokes | Military Multimedia | 10 | |
|
Memes & Jokes India China Standoff 2020 | Members Corner | 334 | |
|
Social Humour: Jokes on Ramdev after his inflammatory remark | Members Corner | 1 |
