Welcome to DFI . Are you by any chance inspired by Genghis Khan.
Its actually entire the philosophy behind Ghenghis Khan's fate which inspires me.
I follow biographies of great generals, emperors and masters of strategy, like Alexander, Akbar, Hannibal, Napoleon ... even Bismarck and others
its funny how all of them peaked and achieved a lot in their early life but were left dis-satisfied or even completely depressed (to various degrees, like Napoleon being the worst) in their later years
Ghengis in his early part of life (as Temojin) faced many hardships... and then never looked back
P.S - a little too deep already?