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Four strangers traveled together in the same compartment of an European train. Two men and two women faced each other. One woman was a very wealthy and sophisticated 70 year old lady who was decked out in the finest of furs and jewelry. Next to her Sat a beautiful young woman, nineteen years...

A young Army private pulled up to the main gate of the Army post. The MP noticed that his windshield was busted and that the car's bumper was covered with blood, leaves, and twigs. Concerned, he asked, "What happened?" "I was in an accident ... I ran over a First Sergeant," the private...

A telphone repair man joined the Army. As part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at the target, and missed the target with every shot! His Drill Instructor tried to find out why. "What's the matter with you?" shouted the DI. "Why can't you hit the...

Dear Dad," read the young soldier's first letter home. "I cannot tell you where I am, but yesterday I shot a polar bear..." Several months later came another letter: "Dear Dad, I still cannot tell you where I am, but yesterday I danced with a hula girl..." Two weeks later came yet another...

The soldier serving overseas, far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them...

As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under CRAP, older soldiers will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of lower paid soldiers who represent the Army's future. A program to phase out older soldiers via retirement by the end of the...

Five cannibals were employed by the Navy as translators during one of the island campaigns during World War II. When the Commanding Admiral of the task force welcomed the cannibals he said, "You're all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of...

GUIDE NOTE: In the Spring of 2001, a Navy EP-3 Intelligence Aircraft made an emergency landing on an airfield in China. To: George W. Bush From: National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice Sir: Team of five experts from "Lockheed Martin" (i.e., three Lockheed Martin, two CIA), arrived Hainan...

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the...

During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking...

It's the Spring of 1957 and a sailor goes to pick up his date. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and inviteshim in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?," he says. "That's cool" says the sailor. Carrie's father asks the sailor what they're planning to...

A squad of Marines were driving up the highway between Basra and Baghdad. They came upon an Iraqi soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert. As first aid was...

There was a Green Beret who had four daughters. He was in a habit of worrying about his daughters and always answered the door with a sawed-off shotgun. One night he hears a knock at the door and finds a young man standing there. The young man says: "My name is Freddy. I've come to pick up...

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the...

Military Phone message Thank You for calling the US Army. We're sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or otherwise engaged. Please leave a message with your country, name of organization, region, specific crisis and a number where you can be reached. As soon as we have sorted out...

The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasn't until four weeks later that someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.

An NCO, a Warrant Officer and an RLO were captured as POWs and subsequently sentenced to be executed. On the fateful day, the three prisoners were brought out into the courtyard. The NCO, chosen by his captors to be first, was offered a cigarette, which he accepted. After he was finished, he...

C.R.A.P. - Command Reduction of Army Personnel As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under CRAP, older soldiers will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of lower paid soldiers who represent the Army's future. A program to phase...

The colonel had distinguished himself in combat, but unfortunately he was wounded -- both of his ears were blown off. As a decorated hero, however, the Army allowed him to remain on active duty. One day, the colonel was part in charge of a selection board to determine whether or not potential...

The Company Commander and the First Sergeant were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the First Sergeant said, "Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?" The CO said, "I see millions of stars." 1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?" CO: "Astronomically, it...