I'm a Pakistani and I married my first cousin. AMA

parijataka

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then let those morons atleast realise now what the world thinks about cousin marriages. Two hundred years ago "sati" was mandatary and child marriage was the norm. Will you say that we love tradition and start pushing widows into their husbands' graves? Grow up India!!
Uh oh... Sati was common in war time Rajasthan and in Bengal where the widow inherited the husband's wealth and greedy relatives would force the widow to die on husband's funeral pyre. Sati was never `mandatory`. In Punjab and Haryana, the younger brother would marry elder brother's widow. There is nothing called Sati as such in the holy books - what is there is a system called `anugamana` by which a man/woman could mount the funeral pyre of a dearly beloved person. In ancient times the queens of dead kings performed Sati - at the death of Krishna Devaraya, all his wives died with him.

But your point is valid though - just because something is a custom or tradition there is no reason to continue with a harmful practise.
 

Ray

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Good thing that the Pakistan married his first cousin and not his sister!
 

Virendra

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Such marriages were done for reasons like:
--ease of financial expenses,
--supposedly better marital compatibility,
--sustenance of family wealth within,
--avoid intrusion of foreign ideas/culture,
--support continuity of the blood line/hierarchy in violent times
The marriage with sister or first-cousin isn't a good idea in long term though, at least now.
There are high risks of consequences on the health of the progeny from such marriage. The reasons are genetic.
Cousin marriage has genetic aspects that do not arise in the case of other marriage-related political and social issues like interracial marriage. This is because married couples possessing higher than normal consanguinity have, on average, an increased chance of sharing genes for recessive traits. Consanguinity means the amount of shared (identical) DNA, the genetic material. The percentage of consanguinity between any two individuals decreases fourfold as the most recent common ancestor recedes one generation. To cite some examples, first cousins have four times the consanguinity of second cousins, while first cousins once removed have half that of first cousins. Rare double first cousins have twice that of first cousins and are as related as half-siblings.

In April 2002, the Journal of Genetic Counseling released a report which estimated the average risk of birth defects in a child born of first cousins at 1.7–2.8% over an average base risk for non-cousin couples of 3%, or about the same as that of any woman over age 40.[179] In terms of mortality, a 1994 study found a mean excess pre-reproductive mortality rate of 4.4%,[180] While another study published in 2009 suggests the rate may be closer to 3.5%.[2] Put differently, first-cousin marriage entails a similar increased risk of birth defects and mortality as a woman faces when she gives birth at age 41 rather than at 30.[181] Critics argue that banning first-cousin marriages would make as much sense as trying to ban childbearing by older women. After repeated generations of cousin marriage the actual genetic relationship between two people is closer than the most immediate relationship would suggest. In Pakistan, where there has been cousin marriage for generations and the current rate may exceed 50%, one study estimated infant mortality at 12.7 percent for married double first cousins, 7.9 percent for first cousins, 9.2 percent for first cousins once removed/double second cousins, 6.9 percent for second cousins, and 5.1 percent among nonconsanguineous progeny. Among double first cousin progeny, 41.2 percent of prereproductive deaths were associated with the expression of detrimental recessive genes, with equivalent values of 26.0, 14.9, and 8.1 percent for first cousins, first cousins once removed/double second cousins, and second cousins respectively.
 

BangersAndMash

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I do apologize if my post upset anyone. I should have clarified my post is aimed at "British Pakistanis". There have been a few documentaries on TV, news channels and newspapers have also highlighted the risks (specifically aimed at pakis), leaflets are available at hospitals, doctors and health workers have given talks, etc. British pakis know they are putting their childrens health at risk, yet over 50% still marry their cousins.

Maybe it is excusable if this is happening in rural/backward areas of a third world country and the people are not educated and don't know the health risks.
 

Oracle

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This happens in India too, and is a bad bad practice. Who in the right mind would want to marry his cousin? Not only is this harmful to the offspring, but it's plain incest.
 

Param

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HiV does not spread just because two people have sex. One of the partners has to be infected to spread it.

Similarly there has to be some genetic problem in the families of such couples inorder to result in a retarded child.

There have been millions of cousins married to each other, not children of all of them are retarded.

Those who harp that this is incest should are free to avoid it, but don't have a right to criticize others.

Cousin is not sibling, just another relative.
The truth is all humans are relatives since all have a common origin. What constitutes incest varies from culture to culture.
 
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Mad Indian

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HiV does not spread just because two people have sex. One of the partners has to be infected to spread it.

Similarly there has to be some genetic problem in the families of such couples inorder to result in a retarded child.

There have been millions of cousins married to each other, not children of all of them are retarded.

Those who harp that this is incest should are free to avoid it, but don't have a right to criticize others.

Cousin is not sibling, just another relative.
The truth is all humans are relatives since all have a common origin. What constitutes incest varies from culture to culture.
but its still a consanguinous marriage! First question we ask in Paedritic OP is about consanguinity of the marriage because we see lots of cases with mental retardation and genetic abnormality in consanguinous marriages.
DEGREE OF CONSANGUINITY:
Incest: grade 1
maternal uncle marriage: grade 2
Cousin marriage: grade 3(it does not matter if it is paternal cousin or maternal cousin, both have the same risk)

leave that aside, do we really want our child to be below normal intelligence in an increasingly competitive world ?

Also note that cousin marriages and maternal uncle marriages(both being prevalent in Tamils urg!!) are graded just below incest.

World doesn't change for our whiffs and whim my friend, we (tamils) must give up our stupid practice(last time i was shocked to read the % of consanguinous marriages is as high as 60 in TN).
 

Mad Indian

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Also many genetic problems are autosomal recessives so you cant say a person is carrying a defective gene just from his appearance. So the chances of recessives being expressed in homozygous state is very high in consanguinous marriages.


So people, please abuse the cousin marriages as much as you want(honestly i mean it). If that can cause a change of attitude among people towards it , it is worth it!!!!
 

Mad Indian

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I do apologize if my post upset anyone. I should have clarified my post is aimed at "British Pakistanis". There have been a few documentaries on TV, news channels and newspapers have also highlighted the risks (specifically aimed at pakis), leaflets are available at hospitals, doctors and health workers have given talks, etc. British pakis know they are putting their childrens health at risk, yet over 50% still marry their cousins.

Maybe it is excusable if this is happening in rural/backward areas of a third world country and the people are not educated and don't know the health risks.
dont apologise, if your post can change the view of even a few in our country, it is great is it not???
 

amitkriit

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This happens in India too, and is a bad bad practice. Who in the right mind would want to marry his cousin? Not only is this harmful to the offspring, but it's plain incest.
Definition of Incest differs from one country to another. In fact in several European countries, Brother-Sister incest is tolerated (not punishable under law), but this is extremely uncommon. Cousin Marriage is more prevalent than what we Indians usually think.
 

Param

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Definition of Incest differs from one country to another. In fact in several European countries, Brother-Sister incest is tolerated (not punishable under law), but this is extremely uncommon. Cousin Marriage is more prevalent than what we Indians usually think.
what?:shocked:

which countries?
 

amitkriit

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what?:shocked:

which countries?


Red: Incestuous relationships are prohibited
Yellow: Incestuous relationships are allowed, but marriages are prohibited
Blue: Incestuous relationships and marriages allowed.

Now the shocker: Incest in India by law is recognized as a punishable crime, if one of the parties is a minor. Incest is legal in Israel, Japan, Turkey. Incest is not prohibited in Portugal. Incest between consenting adults is not prohibited in France and Belgium.

Even in European countries where there are laws against Incest, they are usually not enforced, if the parties are consenting.
 

Galaxy

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If I am not wrong, It's allowed as per Islam that one can marry his cousin sister. (sorry, if i am wrong).

Even in India, Many Muslims marries their cousin sister. In one case that i experienced, one of my School friend who use to come to School with her sister and lived in same house, Finally married his same cousin sister during College. Strange and very odd situation for non-Muslims but common among many Muslims.
 

Param

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Red: Incestuous relationships are prohibited
Yellow: Incestuous relationships are allowed, but marriages are prohibited
Blue: Incestuous relationships and marriages allowed.

Now the shocker: Incest in India by law is recognized as a punishable crime, if one of the parties is a minor. Incest is legal in Israel, Japan, Turkey. Incest is not prohibited in Portugal. Incest between consenting adults is not prohibited in France and Belgium.

Even in European countries where there are laws against Incest, they are usually not enforced, if the parties are consenting.
Wtf? I never knew this.

I thought brother sister incest or parental stuff was illegal everywhere!

I guess I misunderstood this issue in the west after all the brouhaha over that famous case of those siblings having children in Germany and the Australian father-daughter case.
 

Param

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If I am not wrong, It's allowed as per Islam that one can marry his cousin sister. (sorry, if i am wrong).

Even in India, Many Muslims marries their cousin sister. In one case that i experienced, one of my School friend who use to come to School with her sister and lived in same house, Finally married his same cousin sister during College. Strange and very odd situation for non-Muslims but common among many Muslims.
Dude, cousin is not sister. (not biologically, just a cultural one)

Why do you think the Islamic countries are shown in grey just like India in that map in posted by Amit?
 

Galaxy

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Dude, cousin is not sister. (not biologically, just a cultural one)

Why do you think the Islamic countries are shown in grey just like India in that map in posted by Amit?
We consider our Cousin sisters as Sisters only. I don't find any difference between Sisters and Cousin sisters. For me, Both are sisters. May be we are taught since childhood or It's our culture. But I know since my schooling days that such things happen among many Muslims. It's their culture and fine as per their religion.
 

Bangalorean

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In general, even I feel that there should be at least "three degrees of separation" among people who get married. That should be minimum.

Best thing is if people begin to marry outside their caste and community - that will be the best possible thing from India's POV.
 

Blackwater

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I'm a Pakistani and I married my first cousin


Iam an Indian hope i can Mary my first cousin:taunt::taunt::taunt::taunt:
 

Param

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We consider our Cousin sisters as Sisters only. I don't find any difference between Sisters and Cousin sisters. For me, Both are sisters. May be we are taught since childhood or It's our culture. But I know since my schooling days that such things happen among many Muslims. It's their culture and fine as per their religion.
Even I consider my cousins as sisters, but not the same way as a real sister.

There are many distant relatives whom I call brother but their relationship with me is not the same as my real brother.

According to my culture my parallel cousin, ie Mousi's daughter is my sister, chacha's daughter is also sister.
But Bua's daughter is traditionally not considered sister.

Anyway since I am not a rural folk, I do not follow this practice. I feel its better to marry someone from another caste, atleast it results in better networking.
 

Singh

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i didt see in my culture i mean north indian or punjabi culture. Though i had long crush on my mama's daughter lolllllllllllll
I'm a Pakistani and I married my first cousin
Iam an Indian hope i can Mary my first cousin:taunt::taunt::taunt::taunt:
Punjabi Pancho Party Zindabad :rofl::rofl:

===


Pakistani wife was crying her eyes out during divorce proceedings, Pakistani husband said "Why are you crying we are still brother and sister" :lol::lol:
 

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