Jokes Thread

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[rock127]

This happens often.

 

[WMD]

Nick & Rachel decide to go on a date. Nick arrives at Rachel's house to take her out. She answers the door and he is surprised to see her wearing only a towel.

She says, "'I am so sorry, I was held up with something. I will get ready in just a few minutes. I will introduce you to my parents. You can talk to them while I am getting dressed. But let me warn you, they are both deaf mutes." She then guides him to the living room, introduces him to her parents and disappears.

The situation is a little uncomfortable as both of the parents are absolutely quiet. Rachel's father is watching soccer on TV and her mother is busy reading a newspaper. After a few moments of silence, the mother suddenly gets up from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her underwear and pours a glass of water over her butt. Likewise, Rachel's father launches himself across the room, bends her over the sofa and screws her from behind. He then relaxes in his chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye.

The room is plunged back into a creepy silence and Nick is too shocked to say anything. Just then, Rachel comes down fully dressed and ready to go out. The date is totally ruined as Nick is per-occupied by the events at Rachel's home. Towards the end, Rachel realizes that something is terribly wrong and asks, "Is everything okay? Why are you so lost?"

Nick replied, "I witnessed some bizarre events while I was waiting for you and I am still in shock. First your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her drawers & throws a glass of water over her behind. Then, your father contributes to the strange happenings by racing from his chair, pinning your mother down on the sofa and taking her from behind. He then sits back and places a match stick by his eye".

'Oh, that's nothing?' replies Rachel.

Nick can't believe her casual response.

Rachel continues, 'Mum was simply saying 'Are you going to get this a*shole a drink?' And Dad was replying 'No screw him, I'm watching the match!

 

[Rahul92]

 

[Rahul92]

 

[Rahul92]

 

[Yusuf]

😄Ab batao inmey se Sardar konsa hai..???

Customer - Ek colgate dena !!

Dukaandaar - Konsa?

Customer -Pepsodant

 

[Yusuf]

A man was sipping his Beer, while sitting on the balcony with his wife and he says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."

The wife asks, "Is that you, or the beer talking?"

He replies, "It's me..... talking to the beer.

 

[Yusuf]

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.. "The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.. "This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied."In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face."If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it."And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back..

 

[Raj30]

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.. "The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.. "This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied."In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face."If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it."And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back..

isn't it a Tenali Raman joke

 

[Rahul92]

 

[Ankit Purohit]

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.. "The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.. "This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied."In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face."If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it."And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back..

mast ek dum

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

 

[cobra commando]

Todays Gyan