Dealing with death

Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by Armand2REP, Feb 21, 2011.

  1. Armand2REP

    Armand2REP CHINI EXPERT Veteran Member

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    Yeah, so my dad died this morning. Don't know why I feel more comfortable talking about it online, but I just don't want to TALK about it verbally. You seem like a bunch of good guys so just want to get your thoughts on it. He was 63, died of a blood clot caused by bladder cancer that had been spreading for a year after its removal. I talked to him a day before he passed this morning and had the TALK about it a few months before. I don't know if I am thankful I didn't watch him pass or sad that I didn't. Everything that was needed to be said was. He was jaundus with a blockage of the liver and thought some shunts would get him patched up. The doctor knew he wouldn't be coming home but I didn't find that out till afterwords. I am not angry at God, the doctors or anyone. It is the first MAJOR death that really affects me, others have died but not really close to them like that. How have you guys dealt with death of someone close in your lives?
     
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  3. Daredevil

    Daredevil On Vacation! Administrator

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    Sorry for your loss Armand. May his soul rest in peace. My condolences with you and your family. :(
     
  4. warriorextreme

    warriorextreme Senior Member Senior Member

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    sorry for your loss bro :(
     
  5. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    Well no one from my immediate family (mother,father,brother,sister) has died so i can't even begin to feel what you must be going through.

    But few people ive been close too have died and shed tears (im stone cold otherwise). I think its the thought that you will never see them again and wont ever get the chance to tell them how much you love them.

    Eventually you will get over it. Time heals all wounds.

    RiP your father.
     
  6. Rage

    Rage DFI TEAM Stars and Ambassadors

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    Well, I'm truly sorry to hear about that. Je te présente mes sincères condoléances. J'imagine à quel point les moments que tu vis doivent être pénibles.

    I'd suggest, go out for a walk. Not a place like Rue de Rivoli or des Champs Élysées, but some place like the bois de Boulogne or bois de Vincennes. The cool air always helps clear my head.

    Also, go to a sauna/spa if you can afford it. Say you need the break and the time to be alone. The cool, flowing water really helps to relax.

    Above all know that if he suffered, his death was probably timely. And a relief. Knowing that he wouldn't have suffered anymore, is some measure of solace.

    Une fois de plus, je suis désolé pour ta perte.
     
  7. Armand2REP

    Armand2REP CHINI EXPERT Veteran Member

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    Fortunately I have no regrets about saying our love for each other. My beliefs are that we will see each other upon my death. I regret that he will never see grandchildren the most. He was a kind man that believed you are only as good as the name you make for yourself.
     
  8. mattster

    mattster Respected Member Senior Member

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    sorry to hear that. 63 is still relatively young by today's standards. Hopefully he had a full-life.
     
  9. Armand2REP

    Armand2REP CHINI EXPERT Veteran Member

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    Except for enjoying retirement, he worked what he loved which is more than many people I guess. He was not an ambitious man, just wanted things to stay the same when he got comfortable.
     
  10. bhramos

    bhramos Elite Member Elite Member

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    sorry for that mate, may his soul rest in peace.
    according some medical studies the average life of a human being is 150 years but due to current life style the life span has drastically decreased to 50 years or so. there are so many factors but would not like to discuss now.
    as even my dad passed when i was 16 i can feel your pain.... no words to explain......
     
  11. Razor

    Razor CIDs from Tamilnadu Senior Member

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    Sorry to hear that sir. May his soul rest in peace.
    And may peace travel with you.
     
  12. A.V.

    A.V. New Member

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    extremely sorry for your loss armand , may god grant him eternal peace
     
  13. Oracle

    Oracle New Member

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    Very sorry for your loss Armand. May he R.I.P.
    May God be with you in this time of immense grief.
     
  14. Singh

    Singh Phat Cat Administrator

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    So sorry to hear about your loss. May he rest in peace.
     
  15. Yusuf

    Yusuf GUARDIAN Administrator

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    inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon. ("Who, when a misfortune overtakes them, say: 'Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return'.) This is what Muslims say upon hearing the death of anyone.
    Sorry for your loss Armand. May your dad rest in peace and give you and your family the strength to overcome this great loss.

    My sisters mother in law died last year because of blood clot reaching the heart. It was all too sudden and unbelievable as she had no health issue. From nowhere there was some internal bleeding and clot. The chances of survival are very very less i learnt. The only way to try to save is use of Heparin. She was barely 50. It was unbelievable and my brother in law who could not see his mother one last time as he was is a resident of australia was inconsolable. It took a very long time for him to come to terms with the loss as he was very close to his mother. Its very difficult to console someone except pray for the departed soul and pray for the family to help them overcome their loss and grief.
     
  16. death.by.chocolate

    death.by.chocolate Defence Professionals Defence Professionals

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    I'm truly sorry for your loss Armand. I was a mess of emotions when my mother passed away - I was 15.
    I remember being filled with anger,resentment,regret,guilt,fear and profound sorrow. I struggled for a while; I sometimes stll do.Eventually, I was able to let go and move on with a little help from my friends and family.
     
  17. p2prada

    p2prada Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    I understand your loss mate. My condolences to you and your family.

    I lost my dad 2 years ago cause of stroke. It was unexpected. I almost lost my brother after his kidney transplant in December. Docs said he may not make it through the night after moving him into the ICU. The little bugger pulled through. This was at the same time as my mom was still admitted in the observation room because she was the kidney donor. We never told her anything.

    Just don't let death affect your relationship with the living. You have to move on.

    Regards.
     
  18. amoy

    amoy Senior Member Senior Member

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    my condolences...

    I haven't experienced loss of a close relative and regret I don't get well along with my parents so I'm jealous of your intimacy with your dad. To drift away in music may be soothing for in music we may temporarily forget we're but visitors of this world
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2011
  19. LETHALFORCE

    LETHALFORCE Moderator Moderator

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    My condolences to you and your family Armand. This March it will be 11 years that my Father passed away at age 62, and in May 6 years that my Mother passed away from a stroke. I still think about them everyday and miss them. This is the toughest thing in life to build relationships for decades only for them to end so painfully. My Father had leukemia the Doctor had given him 6 months to live but he lived 3 years. I tried to do everything in that time to save him, I tried to find bone marrow matches on my father's side of the family and elsewhere,experimental treatments,Leukemia specialists etc... nothing worked in the end he passed away at home like he wanted. Don't feel guilty we all do whatever is humanly possible but it is not in our hands. I remember reading a quote long back that if men spent as much money and effort against fighting diseases instead of each other many diseases could be eradicated. Give yourself time and try to stay busy in things you enjoy and spending time with your family.
     
  20. kickok1975

    kickok1975 Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    My condolence to you, Armand. I guess I need spend more time with my aging parent. I'm away from them for many years, even though I visit them constantly. I would still feel very guity if they suddenly leave me.
     
  21. thakur_ritesh

    thakur_ritesh Administrator Administrator

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    condolences Armand, my prayers are with your father, you, your family, may god give peace to you all and strength to over come the loss.
     

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