DFI Jokes

Discussion in 'Announcements & Feedback' started by Sabir, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. Sabir

    Sabir DFI TEAM Senior Member

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    If you want to know who is Ahmedsid here is the facts---

    Ahmedsid can delete any post that is not 99.99% in accordance with Forum Rules. Rest 0.01% include mistakes in a/an, he/she, spelling mistakes etc.

    Black coloured IDs are actually caused by Ahmedsid banning people faster than other mods can warn them.

    The number of members banned by Ahmedsid is more than the number of posts by Pintu.

    When Ahmedsid enters Forum he doesn’t sign in…he signs out outer world.

    You can easily throw silly comments. Ahmedsid can throw you…more easily.

    In your average one line post Ahmedsid can show you 733 reasons to ban you including that oneliner itself.

    In Ahmedsid’s dictionary troll, misbehave, ban, spam etc are synonyms.

    Five moderators other than Ahmedsid guard DFI before sunset. So Don’t troll at night.

    Once Ahmedsid banned one spammer even before he could submit the registration.

    When Ahmed reads reply to his post, letters get evaporated as they don’t dare to counter Ahmedsid.

    If you do some nonsense and try to argue in shout box it will not say “ you are idle in shout box”…….It will say “create a new ID, if possible from a different IP address.”

    Ahmedsid can read through 26 threads, 122 posts simultaneously.

    Ahmedsid can ban four trollers with pressing just one button while other moderators have to press four buttons separately.

    So if both of us are not banned yet ( I for posting it and you for reading) it means Ahmedsid is waiting for two more guys before pressing the button.
     
    Razor likes this.
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  3. 1.44

    1.44 Member of The Month SEPTEMBER 2009 Senior Member

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    Hah the day will come when ahmeds dark reign of fire is extinguished!!!!!

    And i will die happy Hahahaha :crazy laugh:
     
  4. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    Ahmedsid can ban four trollers with pressing just one button while other moderators have to press four buttons separately.

    Double Post! You get 1 minute to edit it, or Else!!! BAN!!!!!
     
  5. Abu Turab

    Abu Turab New Member

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    wow thats what i call abuse of power.. =)) me likes it..
     
  6. Daredevil

    Daredevil On Vacation! Administrator

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    :rofl:. Nice. Let me add some more AhmedSid supermod facts :D.

    1) When somebody says no moderator is perfect, AhmedSid takes it as an insult.

    2) AhmedSid does not sleep. He waits for trollers and spammers to ban.

    3) When a member signs in to DFI in the night, he checks if AhmedSid is online or not before posting.

    4) AhmedSid doesn't press the ban button to ban the spammers and trollers, he just stares at the ban button till they get banned.

    5) AhmedSid can talk on the forum while other members can just post.

    6) On his birthday, AhmedSid randomly selects one user and bans him.

    7) AhmedSid has deep and abiding respect for forum members. Unless they get in his way.

    8) AhmedSid cannot love the members, he can only not ban them.

    9) Behind every successful member on the forum there are his quality posts. Behind a banned member, there is AhmedSid.

    10) AhmedSid can judge a member by his handle name.

    PS: This is done only in good humor, don't take it otherwise.:blum3:
     
  7. Pintu

    Pintu New Member

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    Great sabir and dd , I can only say : :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: ..........& :rofl:


    Regards
     
  8. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    Okay, the time has come to break the Silence. You have all been hearing Sabirs, DDs, and Rohits (1.44s) side of the story. Here is mine.

    These guys here have made me out to be some Ban addict and a Hitler like character. I will shed some light on these misconceptions.

    Of all the folks here screaming out that I ban like no tomorrow, well let me tell you that these very folks are the cause of me banning users.

    One night I logged into DFI, logging out the outside world. There is silence all over the place, but the shoutbox is filled with messages. I am shocked, whats it? I took a look, Its Daredevil, yelling for help "Is there a Moderator there? Is there a Moderator there? Please Respond, Please, Some guy just asked me If I am interested in Increasing my Manhood!!!!"

    I am like, "DD, dont worry, I am on the case, chill down, you are in trauma, I will ask Singhji, our Counselor to get in touch with you". I then proceeded to spam the "Manly" Spammer. That my Friends, was my FIRST Ban on this forum of a Spammer.

    Then On, I decided to be the Night Crusader, the one man army mowing down Spammers and Trolls. The Lazarous Man of DFI........ The Night Mod of DFI.

    After a few days, I keep banning these spammers after they spam, and One night, as I just logged in, I see a spate of messages on the shoutbox, What can it be this time????

    Well folks, that was a shock to me, It was some user called 'xcdef453" yelling out on the Shoutbox " Save Me, Help me, I did no wrong to deserve this, Ban me, Some freak here is asking me to show him my Manhood!!!" That my friends, Was Rohit (1.44) asking a spammer to show him their Manhood!!! Think of it, a Spammer asking me to Ban him, out of fear for Rohit!!!!!!!

    I gave a warning to Rohit to not indulge in such acts (unnatural it may seem, natural for him). Thats why he wants to see me banished from DFI.


    Now Last but not the least, The starter of this topic Sabir, Well people Sabir is actually a Spammer, who joined DFI with the sole intention of spamming advertisements of "Quality Lingerie at Affordable Prices"!!!!!!! Seeing me moderating the forum heavily at night, and Fearing my Ban button, He turned over a new leaf and started participating in the forum. Though once in a while he sends DD, Rohit, and Ibris PMs, regarding "Affordable Underwears" they dont mind it, because now, Sabir is their official Supplier :)

    And one more thing, Sabirs original Name was oitgh8759!!!! We changed it to Sabir upon his Request!

    The Above Mentioned Events are purely fictional, and bear no resemblance to any person living or Dead.

    With this Discliamer on top, you guys can bet this is the TRUTH! :)
     
  9. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    Members can post in Jokes relating to things happening in DFI. The jokes got to be tasteful and can be Inside jokes too :)

    Remember, dont hurt anyones feelings, and Post jokes about a person only if you feel he/she wont mind and is a friend of yours! Just like me and folks above :D
     
  10. Yusuf

    Yusuf GUARDIAN Administrator

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    And Ahmed complains that we guys in the day have all the fun!!!
     
    utubekhiladi likes this.
  11. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    Yusuf, My complaints are genuine!!!!!! You guys get to rough up Trolls while all I get is the damned Spammer! I while away time hearing nasty stories told by IBRIS about his "Personal" Life!!!! Rohit joins in too and he encourages IBRIS to spill all the beans!

    Thanks to IBRIS, Rohit is on a Pineapple diet now a days! Now if you guys want to know what a Pineapple Diet is, you got to PM rohit or Ibris!!! :D
     
  12. Yusuf

    Yusuf GUARDIAN Administrator

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    You ban four trolls with one press of the button and you say you get no trolls? The number of trolls I have had the pleasure of banning is less than the number of fingers on my one hand. And I have five fingers!!!
     
  13. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    I get 99 Hack attacks against my DFI account Per day. 98 of these are by 1.44 (Rohit). He is planning on stealing my Identity and taking over DFIs Night Mod position and harassing Underwear salesmen Spammers!!!

    With the above startling revelations, I am sure the attacks will go up!!! So, I have made a 2nd ID, which will come into action if this ID of mine is compromised. The other ID is a very famous Handle here, and you must be talking with that ID daily, So remember, You are talking with ME!!! Dont badmouth me with that person! hahahahahhahahha
     
  14. A.V.

    A.V. New Member

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    whats happening i missed all these night activities , i think i will be party to the night activities too
     
  15. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    No AV, There can be only One LION in the Jungle and That is ME! :D

    PS: You can lurk around and catch all the fun! lol
     
  16. Yusuf

    Yusuf GUARDIAN Administrator

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    AV in red is the shikari. Be careful of him!!
     
  17. A.V.

    A.V. New Member

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    yes sure i will be lurking and catching the fun live anyway i am always on stealth mode and no new radars in the market can discover me so i will be live and lurking from tonight
     
  18. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    I got an ELTA AESA, direct from Israel installed on my computer. I will scan on the L band (if there is such a damn band other than the pakistani band Jal!!!) lol
     
  19. A.V.

    A.V. New Member

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    hmn......... i see i need to device a new stealth techno then hold on i will get to work on this right now.



    here on a different note for all the members who joined DFI later here is a fact, the early days ahmed was itching to ban someone desperately in those days there were very few members and most of them were no trolls by any count so atlast seeing ahmed desperation ritesh< he was a tt member then> offered that he be banned and ahmed get his wish but he wanted me to unban him later...
    but soon dfi took off in the troll registration dept and ahmed had a field day and he is still enjoying even today
     
  20. ahmedsid

    ahmedsid Top Gun Senior Member

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    AV aaaarghhhhhhhh you spilled the secret! LOL

    I remember that day still, Riteshji telling that I can ban him! lol he was a Mod at NDR that time and I was new here hahahah God smiled upon me that day, and soon i could ban spammers and trolls!

    Till today, I have no dearth of people to ban! One of these Nights, I am gonna ban Rohit, seriously! That dude is truly Evil!!!! :D
     
  21. Yusuf

    Yusuf GUARDIAN Administrator

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    Did ritesh tell you about him creating a fake troll id just to grant your wish to ban someone?
     

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