The single life: Some people never find the love of their lives.

Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by Oracle, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Oracle

    Oracle New Member

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    The single life: Some people never find the love of their lives. And live to tell about it.

    [​IMG]
    Wendy Braitman — one America’s 96.6 million unmarried adults — takes her dog on a walk through an art installation in Los Angeles.

    If Wendy Braitman were writing a screenplay about her life, this scene would play at the top, to set the tone.

    It is 1993, and she is the 39-year-old only daughter of her parents’ long and loving marriage. Her mother has suffered a stroke, so Braitman has flown from California to New York to be with her. She finds her mom awake, but groggy, and hopped up on meds. After an embrace, her mother asks, “So, how’s your boyfriend?”

    “Mom, what boyfriend?” Braitman replies. “We broke up six months ago.”

    Braitman patiently retells the story of their split: He wasn’t the right guy, it just didn’t work out.

    Her mom reacts with disappointment. Then a moment later, she looks up and says, “So, how’s your boyfriend?”

    Dumbfounded, Braitman repeats the explanation. After another beat, her mom asks the question again. And then again. And again.

    “We went around and around in this circle of hell,” Braitman recalls from her condo at the foot of the Hollywood Hills. “In the little capacity she had left of her brain, all she wanted to know was: Who am I with?”

    Braitman’s mom died six weeks later. She had always loved her daughter fiercely and supported her fully, except in this one aspect, her singleness.

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    Even today, Braitman sometimes mentally revises past conversations to find the right words to make her mom understand: She didn’t stay single on purpose.

    Braitman is 58 now, though she has the carriage of a much younger woman. Her body is taut and pliable from rigorous daily ballet classes. She wears boyfriend jeans, rolled to the ankle, and chunky sweaters layered over tight cotton shirts. It’s the look of someone with great style, opting for comfort. Her brown, curly hair tapers to the neck, highlighted with flashes of caramel. And her conversations, like her movements, are imbued with the elegance and self-awareness of a woman who has looked deeply inward and come up feeling more or less okay.

    But she wanted a partner. She still does.

    Braitman grew up in Queens, watching her father dote on her mother. She saw her brother become a wonderful husband. She does not think marriage is broken and does not think life — at least her life — is better lived alone. It just worked out that way.

    She went to college, moved across country, built a career in media. She dated, took up hobbies and developed a loving circle of friends. For most of her life, she assumed the right one would eventually show up. Now, she thinks there has been a detour.

    After Thanksgiving last year, Braitman read a review of Diane Keaton’s new autobiography, “Then Again.” It contained this quote: “I never found a home in the arms of a man.”

    The sentence laid Braitman flat. That’s her truth, too. Of all the men she has known romantically — and there have been plenty — none ever felt like home. It’s that plain. Whatever point-counterpoint, yin-yang recognition of a kindred other happens to people, it has not happened to her. At least, not yet.

    * * *

    We talk a lot about singles, but we don’t talk about this: what it’s like to live without a partner while longing for one, over years, then decades.

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  3. nrj

    nrj Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    Maybe Braitman is lesbian, she doesn't know it yet and she wasted all time finding a perfect partner among males ?
     
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  4. Oracle

    Oracle New Member

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    ROFLMAO! Still confused, even at 39 years of age? I do not think so.
     
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  5. nrj

    nrj Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    Some people may take years to figure out nature's intentions for them.

    Anyways I look at the brighter side, at least she has a dog with her :rofl:
     
  6. Oracle

    Oracle New Member

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    Hmmm. You are right on that one. Same with me too!
     
  7. amoy

    amoy Senior Member Senior Member

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    Marriage is the grave of love, so staying single is not bad
     
  8. nrj

    nrj Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    One should not fear marriage. You can always explore & come back ;)
     
  9. LETHALFORCE

    LETHALFORCE Moderator Moderator

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    Why buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free?
     
  10. Param

    Param Senior Member Senior Member

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    Somebody else can milk the cow, therefore buying it provides guarantees that the buyer is the sole proprietor.:D
     
  11. LETHALFORCE

    LETHALFORCE Moderator Moderator

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    somebody else can milk it even after you bought it.
     
  12. nrj

    nrj Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    Saar nothing comes for free. You get free chronic headache along with free milk :tsk:


    :rofl:
     
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  13. Param

    Param Senior Member Senior Member

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    The probability is much less, since most traditional cows atleast in my place are quite trustworthy.
     
  14. LETHALFORCE

    LETHALFORCE Moderator Moderator

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    A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
     
  15. LETHALFORCE

    LETHALFORCE Moderator Moderator

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    Maybe you will be tired of drinking the same sour milk and want to try a different flavor?? How can
    the cow be sure?
     
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  16. Param

    Param Senior Member Senior Member

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  17. payalshah85

    payalshah85 New Member

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    When the right time arrives everybody gets their love
     

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