Is marriage a trap for men?

Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by Known_Unknown, May 27, 2012.

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Is marriage a trap for men?

  1. Yes, without question..

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  2. No, that is BS..

    8 vote(s)
    24.2%
  3. Don't know..

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  4. Huh? I need more weed...

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  1. Known_Unknown

    Known_Unknown Devil's Advocate Stars and Ambassadors

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    Is marriage a social and economic trap for men? Why do men marry at all? In today's western societies, marriage is not a prerequisite for sex. Besides companionship, are there any advantages for men to get married?

    In the US today, just over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce laws overwhelmingly favour women to such an extent, that the vast majority of men find themselves either financially bankrupt or dead trying to pay the massive amount of child support and alimony payments that are decided without any reference to the man's earning capacity, his take home pay, his health or other personal situation. The Bradley Amendment passed into law in the late 1980's in the US forces men to pay child support and alimony payments regardless of whether they are disabled, in prison, or even dead!!

    Even when wives earn more than their husbands, unless the difference is significant, the man ends up paying alimony to his wife regardless of whose fault it was that resulted in the breakdown of marriage. So if your wife cheated on you and you filed for divorce, you'd end up having the responsibility to support her for life (her life, not yours, so even if you die, your estate will be charged the alimony amounts).

    Governments in western countries have made it more and more difficult to obtain relief from this financial servitude resulting from divorce, because they see marriage as a welfare system. In addition, paternalistic views of women have been coupled with feminist rights advocates in a strange union so much so that men are always the ones that get shafted.

    Even co-habitating couples who don't want to get married are not spared, in most western countries, you are treated as being married if you co-habitate for a year or so even if you are not married.

    Considering the deterioration in the marriage construct, what could be done to ensure that people are not discriminated against due to their gender? I propose partner contracts, which would be renewable, 11 month legal contracts between couples designed to frustrate the current laws regarding co-habitation and marriage. For 11 months, the "partner contract" would entitle both partners to live together for all practical purposes as married spouses (without actually marrying so as not to invoke marriage laws). After 11 months, a decision could be made to mutually renew the contract or to let it lapse so that the couple could move on.

    In this way, both parties enjoy the benefits of "marriage" without actually being married. If kids are desired, then the parties could formally marry or keep renewing their contract. There should be agencies that facilitate such people who have been in contracts to find new contractual partners through a dating website or something similar. Sounds like a much better alternative to marriage? Or not?
     
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  3. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    After all this time i decided to get married and now this thread is going to change my mind again! :facepalm:


    I know it is a trap but what other choice do i have?
     
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  4. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    Yes it is, without a shadow of a doubt.
     
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  5. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    I voted i dont know, how would you know dude? 4 years back i was as confident as you, may be more. Now it feels like a ticking time bomb that i should pull the fuse or die.

    You wont get married?
     
  6. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    I know what you mean.

    Im talking from a philosophical point of view.
     
  7. Known_Unknown

    Known_Unknown Devil's Advocate Stars and Ambassadors

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    If you got married and live anywhere in the western world, you're SCREWED. Just hope to God and pray and become a man-slave to your wife so she never thinks of divorcing you!

    If you live in India, your situation may be different. I don't know about marriage laws in India. :confused:

    Me on the other hand, a confirmed, thoroughly researched and committed Baal Bramhachari!
     
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  8. Son of Govinda

    Son of Govinda Regular Member

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    How is your proposition any different than current common law families?

    Anyways, Marriage is only a trap if you don't respect the virtue of it and get married for the wrong reasons. If you value your wealth, get a prenup. If you don't want to pay child-support, use the appropriate birth control.
     
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  9. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    Is Baal Brahma another word for gay?

    How old are you?

    Also do you mean the settlement after divorce where they take 50% of the mans property?
     
  10. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    Ok, so you will get married?
     
  11. Known_Unknown

    Known_Unknown Devil's Advocate Stars and Ambassadors

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    Common-law unions are triggered automatically when a couple lives together for a certain duration, without the explicit consent of the couple. As a result, if a co-habitating couple decides to break up after a year, the man is still on the hook for alimony payments.

    A "partner contract" would expire in 11 months, thus circumventing the minimum duration required for recognition as a common-law union. If the parties desire to renew, they would live apart for say 6 months, and then again co-habitate so as not to trigger falling into the legal trap.
     
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  12. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    of course.
     
  13. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    He should be a lucky guy!
     
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  14. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    yes she will be :D
     
  15. Known_Unknown

    Known_Unknown Devil's Advocate Stars and Ambassadors

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    Baal Brahmachari means bachelor for life. Why buy the cow when you'te getting the milk for free? ;)

    As for the settlement after divorce, it's not 50% of the "man's property", but 50% of all property and debt. So if the man owns 80% of the property and carries 20% of debt, after divorce, he will lose much more in net terms.

    Also, the worst part is not the property settlement, but the alimony payments. Men are usually required to pay alimony to their former wives for life, and the payments are calculated as being up to 70% of the man's gross salary, which in many cases is more than his take home pay.
     
  16. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    baahh..cheating.
     
  17. mki

    mki Regular Member

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    it depends........ its like glass is half full/ half empty....

    in my case glass it full till top.......
     
  18. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    for life ? in India men have to pay "maintainence" till the woman remarries.
     
  19. Known_Unknown

    Known_Unknown Devil's Advocate Stars and Ambassadors

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    Bradley Amendment - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    The Bradley Amendment has been a controversial law and has resulted in several notorious examples:

    * Bobby Sherrill, a Lockheed employee in Kuwait from North Carolina, was captured by Iraqis and spent nearly five months as an Iraqi hostage. Sherrill was arrested the night after his release for not paying $1,425 in child support while he was a hostage.[6][7][8]


    * Clarence Brandley, a Texas high school janitor, was wrongly convicted in 1980 of murder. [9] After spending many years in prison and on death row[10], he was released in 1990 and he then sued the state of Texas for wrongful imprisonment in 1993 [11]. The state then responded with a bill for nearly $50,000 in child support that had not been paid while in prison.[12]. Dianna Thompson of The American Coalition of Fathers and Children told the Houston Chronicle that federal law makes it illegal for states to forgive child support payments regardless of circumstance. [13] Michael McCormick, of the American Coalition of Fathers and Children said, concerning child support payments, "I'm not aware of any state where it says a wrongly convicted individual is relieved of their obligation." [14] Despite paying child support every month since his release via wage garnishment, Brandley's child support total reached $73,000 in 2003, when a judge reduced his total to $22,000; however, this amount is still more than triple the $7,000 in back child support Brandley owed at the time of his arrest in 1980. [15] Recently, Brandley lost his job in the economic downtown in 2008; he has since lost his car and house as the child support bills and interest keep coming.[16]


    * Taron James, a U.S. Navy veteran from California, was forced to continue to pay child support until 2006, even after the child was demonstrated by DNA test in 2001 to be not his; James paid $12,000 in such payments.[17][18][19].A California District Court of Appeal eventually set aside the paternity judgment against James in 2006, but the same court denied James' request to have his child support payments reimbursed.[20]


    * A Virginia man required to pay retroactive child support even though DNA tests proved that he could not have been the father.
     
  20. Known_Unknown

    Known_Unknown Devil's Advocate Stars and Ambassadors

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    Then in India, the law is more fair. In western countries, it doesn't matter whether the former wife remarries or not, alimony payments are for life. :frusty:

    EDIT: Although, when a marriage is over, why the heck should anyone be paying anyone else? The key term here is OVER. If the former wife is destitute, then she should apply for government help. Why should a person who has no relationship with another person, and has broken off all previous relationships be forced to financially support him/her?
     
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  21. Godless-Kafir

    Godless-Kafir DFI Buddha Senior Member

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    Those laws sound down right unfair, how come people dont rebel against it with Divorce rate of 50%?

    Also how old are you?
     

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