Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by utubekhiladi, May 25, 2011.
please post all your Aviation humor here
The pilot of a Cessna climbs out of his small plane uninjured after a giant Russian Antonov jet, in backgraound, flipped it over with the force of its engines while both aircraft were taxiing toward the main runway Thursday at Calgary International Aiport.
Quiz question: Can you identify the aircraft in this picture?
Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:
â€œI think everyoneâ€™s asleep, lets goâ€
â€œThis oneâ€™s empty â€¦ no-ones lookingâ€¦ you go in firstâ€
â€œItâ€™s a bit cramped â€“ let me sit downâ€
â€œHave you got the condom? Quick â€“ put it onâ€
â€œAh perfume â€“ you think of everythingâ€
â€œThis is greatâ€¦..â€ (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.
â€œThis is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what youâ€™re doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulationsâ€¦ Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!
AMAZING ENGINEERING FEATS
It manages to remain upright, despite missing its front landing gear!
NASA SPIDER PROBLEM â€“ SHUTTLE ATLANTIS STS-122
A fuel tank glitch forced mission controllers to delay the launch. And, fuel sensors werenâ€™t the only problem. The shuttle was also attacked by a giant spider.
Well, at least thatâ€™s how it looked on NASAâ€™s camera, walking right over a live picture of the launch pad. Add â€œexterminatorâ€ to the list of preflight checks
HELICOPTER OPENS BOTTLES, SHAVES MAN ON-FLY IN RUSSIA
A life-long Siberian pilot, bored with conventional forms of flight, is breaking some interesting new barriers in aviation with a series of tricks.
in soviet russia, helicopter shaves you!!!
AS A PILOT I DONâ€™T SEE THE POINT OF JUMPING OUT OF A PERFECTLY GOOD AIRPLANE
I was taxiing out to the active in a 172 and I had just dialed up tower and checked the approach which was clear. The weather was 15+ vis and no ceiling. I was just about to call tower for clearance when I heard this.
ABC: London tower this is alpha bravo charlie on short final 33.
TWR: Alpha bravo charlie, negative visual contact pull up go around.
I took a good hard look for the a/c and saw nothing so I called tower and got cleared to go. I heard 2 more renditions of the â€œOn short finalâ€ and â€œPull up go aroundâ€ act. On the fourth try the pilot got a bit frustrated about the wave off. It went like this.
TWR: Negative visual contact pull up and go around.
ABC: Well look out you window, Iâ€™m right bloody in front of you!
Tower came back very cool and collected.
TWR: Alpha bravo charlie look down into the centre of the runway pattern. Do you see a big white radar dome?
ABC: errâ€¦.negative dome tower.
TWR: Thatâ€™s because youâ€™re not over London. Youâ€™re over Waterloo-Wellington 50 miles north-east of my position. Waterloo-Wellington tower frequency is 125.00. I think they would like to talk to you.
ACCURATE URGENT OPERATIONAL REQUIREMENT
AIRCRAFT CARRIER STORY
#radio 1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
#radio 2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
#radio 1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
#radio 2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
#radio 1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
#radio 2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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