Aviation Humor, Very funny

Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by utubekhiladi, May 25, 2011.

  1. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    please post all your Aviation humor here
     
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  3. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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  4. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    The pilot of a Cessna climbs out of his small plane uninjured after a giant Russian Antonov jet, in backgraound, flipped it over with the force of its engines while both aircraft were taxiing toward the main runway Thursday at Calgary International Aiport.
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    Quiz question: Can you identify the aircraft in this picture?
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:
    “I think everyone’s asleep, lets go”
    “This one’s empty … no-ones looking… you go in first”
    “It’s a bit cramped – let me sit down”
    “Have you got the condom? Quick – put it on”
    Sniff sniff
    “Ah perfume – you think of everything”
    “This is great…..” (long sigh)

    Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.
    “This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you’re doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations… Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!
     
    Indianboy and SHASH2K2 like this.
  7. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    AMAZING ENGINEERING FEATS

    It manages to remain upright, despite missing its front landing gear!
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    NASA SPIDER PROBLEM – SHUTTLE ATLANTIS STS-122

    A fuel tank glitch forced mission controllers to delay the launch. And, fuel sensors weren’t the only problem. The shuttle was also attacked by a giant spider.

    Well, at least that’s how it looked on NASA’s camera, walking right over a live picture of the launch pad. Add “exterminator” to the list of preflight checks
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2015
  9. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    HELICOPTER OPENS BOTTLES, SHAVES MAN ON-FLY IN RUSSIA

    A life-long Siberian pilot, bored with conventional forms of flight, is breaking some interesting new barriers in aviation with a series of tricks.

    in soviet russia, helicopter shaves you!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2015
  10. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    AS A PILOT I DON’T SEE THE POINT OF JUMPING OUT OF A PERFECTLY GOOD AIRPLANE
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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  13. utubekhiladi

    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    I was taxiing out to the active in a 172 and I had just dialed up tower and checked the approach which was clear. The weather was 15+ vis and no ceiling. I was just about to call tower for clearance when I heard this.
    ABC: London tower this is alpha bravo charlie on short final 33.
    TWR: Alpha bravo charlie, negative visual contact pull up go around.
    I took a good hard look for the a/c and saw nothing so I called tower and got cleared to go. I heard 2 more renditions of the “On short final” and “Pull up go around” act. On the fourth try the pilot got a bit frustrated about the wave off. It went like this.
    TWR: Negative visual contact pull up and go around.
    ABC: Well look out you window, I’m right bloody in front of you!
    Tower came back very cool and collected.
    TWR: Alpha bravo charlie look down into the centre of the runway pattern. Do you see a big white radar dome?
    ABC: err….negative dome tower.
    TWR: That’s because you’re not over London. You’re over Waterloo-Wellington 50 miles north-east of my position. Waterloo-Wellington tower frequency is 125.00. I think they would like to talk to you.

    [​IMG]
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    ACCURATE URGENT OPERATIONAL REQUIREMENT
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    AIRCRAFT CARRIER STORY

    #radio 1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

    #radio 2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

    #radio 1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

    #radio 2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    #radio 1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

    #radio 2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.

    [​IMG]
     
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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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    utubekhiladi The Preacher Elite Member

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