The Official PJ Thread

EnlightenedMonk

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Sardar 1 : Paaji ...look the thieves are stealing ur tv !!!!

Sardar 2 : Oyyyye tenshan matt le paappe ... Remote mere paas hai ... :d:d:d:d:d
 

EnlightenedMonk

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one night wife stands up n starts singin the JANA GANA MANA.

HUSBAND:kya huaa?ab yeh kyun gaa rahi ho?

WIFE:yeh last try hai,is gane pe puraa india khadaa hojataa hai.shayad aap ka bhi..... :D:D:D:D:D
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Come - palakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramaniam Swamy?
Subramaniam Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamani Rangarajan.
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Ek baar darmendra ke ghar mein chor ghus jaata hai. Chor ko dekhkar darmendra gusse mein aakar chillaya "Kaminey!!!!!"






Chor bola "Theek aahe, kami nehto." :D:D:D:D:D
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Hello, Welcome to Psychiatric Hotline.

If u are vobsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly.

if you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and you will hear a little voice telling you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesnt matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, dont press anything...
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Raabert : "Bosss, iss aadmi ne hamaare saath gaddaree ki hai..

Ajit : "Iss ke ek haath mein Titan ki ghadi aur doosre haath mein
HMT ki ghadi pehna do.."

Raabert : "Lekin boss, yeh to gaddaar hai..isko toh kutte ki maut maarna chahiye!"

Ajit : "Hum jaante hain, Raabert. Lekin isko bataana hai ki ab yeh do ghadi
ka mehmaan hai."
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Why does a dumb cat fall down





dumb cats dont mew
now mew is coefficient of friction
so friction=0
hence it falls down
 

EnlightenedMonk

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what did the light say when it was TURNED OFF??

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I AM DE-LIGHTED
 

EnlightenedMonk

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sardar and his family go to a party.he introduces himself,

i myself sardar,she sardarnee,this boy my kid and this girl my kidney.
 

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Malaybhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers.

Malaybhaiwas not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him.

After the printer had presented Malaybhai with a draft , Malaybhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing .

The printer was surprised by Malaybhai's knowledge and asked him if Malaybhai knew what it meant.

Malaybhai immediately replied:

"It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"
 

EnlightenedMonk

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1. Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP

Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....

Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).

2. The Truth about exams....


Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

Re-verification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the
velocity of light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.


Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
Stranger : Grocer? Sure you don't mean Gulshan
Grover??
Gulshan: No it is Grocer.


Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...




Because at the speed of light V=C
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI
 

EnlightenedMonk

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sita and geeta were crossing a bridge across a river full of hungry mutant crocs the bridge was too small for both of them to cross together so sita decided to swim across , geeta made it across the river while sita was torn apart by the mutant crocs , so who was more intelligent ?
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.......Sita coz she had got 95 % PCM in boards
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Har ek indian rupee note pe Gandhiji Ki haste huye tasveer kyon hoti hai?
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.Ans.Bcoz agar woh royenge toh note bheeg jayega...hahaha
 

EnlightenedMonk

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What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
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All are Born on Government Holidays.
 

EnlightenedMonk

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what is a decibel???




the power of ur own country is "desi bal"
foreign power is "videsi bal"
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Why was Gabbar slapped by his mother when he was born???







coz he asked her "kitne aadmi the"
 

EnlightenedMonk

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Once all the scientists die and go to heaven............

They decide to play hide-n-seek.........

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching .....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in right in
front of Einstein...........
Einstein's counting......97,98,99.....100........

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."

Newton denies and says i am not out........

He claims that he is not Newton......

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not
Newton..........

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m
squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared......
since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm
Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT !!!!!!!!" :D:D:D:D:D
 

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