Jokes Thread

[SajeevJino]

@p2prada: Obviously chicken crossing over becomes news because of the pathetic roads we have. I'm sure DRDO had a hand in building that road.
@ersakthivel: Jumps into the argument by collecting links of different birds and animals crossing the road safely in India and asking @p2prada why only the chickens should have issue?
@Damian: Announces that the design of Indian chickens are faulty and so they take ages to cross the road. He blames the poor strength of the legs for this problem and then asks the members to see for themselves in the pic he has posted. Posts the picture of an Indian snake.
@methos likes it

@ersakthivel and @Damian argue for the next 10 pages.
@Kunal Biswas intervenes and threatens to fire at anyone who posts in an unacceptable manner!
@Shaitan posts images of different types of cocks in India.

Really why the Chicks Crossing the Road ..is to Escape from Kim's Long Range Ballistic Missiles

 

[Singh]

Re: Chit Chat thread

And DFI erupts....

@civfanatic: The chicken fearlessly crossing the road is a proof that the rise of the Buddhist Soviet empire is around the corner.
@LurkerBaba likes it.

@Iamanidiot: Just checked it on Twitter. Its due to the Brahmins.
@parijataka: That doesn't make sense at all. Please elaborate the one-liner.
@MadIndian: I knew it. Castism is the reason that chicken was forced to cross the road. Give the chicken some reservation.
@SPIEZ jumps into the argument and then next few pages, he and @MadIndian debate voraciously about Brahminism.

@KS exclaims that as hens have been represented in Indian mythology, chicken running away is symbolic of Hinduism being under threat in India. He asks everyone to stop minority appeasement so that the chicken can stay in its home without fear of the Muslims.
@rock127 likes it
@Dovah Asks @KS if he has checked the latest menu at KFC. It's awesome!
@Messaih: The only advantage of hyping a chicken crossing the road is to the right wing party. This is a BJP conspiracy.
@KS and @Messaih fight it out.
@nrj intervenes saying both Congress and BJP are criminals.

@nimo_cn: Obviously, the chicken feels humiliated by the oppression it faces daily in India and so it is trying to escape.
@ice berg likes it

@Ray: Explains what a hen and a cock is and then wonders aloud if that road had become news-worthy simply because it was built using Chinese equipment
@W.G.Ewald likes it.

Chinese members jump on @ray.

@Yusuf: What that chicken did was nothing! Look at this video of the chicken that I recorded using my iPhone. The clarity is amazing, isn't it?

@tony4562: Chickens in India are so dark. Chinese ones are fair and so are healthy.
@Armand2REP: huh... Chinese chickens are fair because they are fed with shit. If India wants its chicken to cross the road safely, it should get the French to build proper bridges.

@no smoking: Pastes pictures of Indian toilets
@farhan_9909 likes it
@Blackwater pastes pictures of Pakistani toilets.
@Defcon 1 asks @Blackwater to stop it.

@p2prada: Obviously chicken crossing over becomes news because of the pathetic roads we have. I'm sure DRDO had a hand in building that road.
@ersakthivel: Jumps into the argument by collecting links of different birds and animals crossing the road safely in India and asking @p2prada why only the chickens should have issue?
@Damian: Announces that the design of Indian chickens are faulty and so they take ages to cross the road. He blames the poor strength of the legs for this problem and then asks the members to see for themselves in the pic he has posted. Posts the picture of an Indian snake.
@methos likes it

@ersakthivel and @Damian argue for the next 10 pages.
@Kunal Biswas intervenes and threatens to fire at anyone who posts in an unacceptable manner!
@Shaitan posts images of different types of cocks in India.

@Rage puts up a detailed post on how the chicken crossing the road does not have any effect on India's Nuclear NFU policy.

@Agnostic Muslim comments that everyone was simply jumping to conclusions based on a picture that the chicken had indeed crossed the road. As he was not present there while that happened, he isn't convinced.
@Asim Aquil retorts that @Agnostic Muslim was attacking his website to cover up the act of the chicken crossing the road.
DFI gets DDOSed and goes offline for a few hours.

@Bangalorean says that he thought the thread was about chiks!
@Razor asks him to paste pics of chiks rather than talk about chiks!
@blank_quest likes it

@sayareakd measures the size of the chicken's legs, shows the orientation of the chickens shadow against the sun in the background and proves that the pic was not taken in India.
@pmaitra explains the same thing in technical jargon.

@Singh closes the thread as there was no link pasted along with the OP.

================

Source : http://defenceforumindia.com/forum/members-corner/46220-chicken-crosses-road.html

Funniest thing ever !!!

 

[abhi_the _gr8_maratha]

Re: Chit Chat thread

udge: Do you want to stay with
your mom?
Child: No. She beats me.
.
Judge: Then do you want to stay
with your dad?
Child: No. He too beats me
.
Judge: Do you want to stay with
your grandparents?
Child: No, they also beat me.
.
Judge: Ok. So do you want to stay
with your uncle?
Child: No. They beat me too
.
Judge: Ok. So tell me who you want
to stay with?
Child: I want to stay with Mumbai
Indians.
They dont beat anybody.

 

[abhi_the _gr8_maratha]

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a
girl!
.
.
He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report
"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM
DOG"
.
.
Man says i'm not American
Report changed
"Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"
.
.
Man says:
Actually I'm Pakistani
.
.
Breaking News:
"Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which
was playing
with a girl"

 

[Sea Eagle]

Re: Chit Chat thread

udge: Do you want to stay with
your mom?
Child: No. She beats me.
.
Judge: Then do you want to stay
with your dad?
Child: No. He too beats me
.
Judge: Do you want to stay with
your grandparents?
Child: No, they also beat me.
.
Judge: Ok. So do you want to stay
with your uncle?
Child: No. They beat me too
.
Judge: Ok. So tell me who you want
to stay with?
Child: I want to stay with Mumbai
Indians.
They dont beat anybody.

@Singh

You would be happy

 

[abhi_the _gr8_maratha]

Re: Chit Chat thread

@Singh

You would be happy

didn't get it

 

[Sea Eagle]

Re: Chit Chat thread

didn't get it

MI is Ambani's team and Singh supports AAP

 

[Kaalapani]

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a
girl!
.
.
He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report
"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM
DOG"
.
.
Man says i'm not American
Report changed
"Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"
.
.
Man says:
Actually I'm Pakistani
.
.
Breaking News:
"Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which
was playing
with a girl"

Hasna tha?

 

[abhi_the _gr8_maratha]

Re: Chit Chat thread

MI is Ambani's team and Singh supports AAP

to be honest aap is the most stupid party of india and kejri is an opportunity seeker and he just talk of rejecting security,govt house,and eventually accepted all ,and when he came to mumbai he actually cloaked railway station ,he is just showing himself as anti corruption and then he forms govt with congress

 

[Spiritinthesky]

Re: Farting Your Guts Out

A guy walks into a shop and says: "I'd like a gas cap for my KIA." The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: "Ok, that seems like a fair trade."

 

[W.G.Ewald]

An American walks into a bar in Sudan and orders a beer. Heroic freedom fighters seize him and tie him to a log. The bartender says, "We don't get many Americans in here." And the American says, "Well, I'm not surprised, since you don't serve alcohol and you saw off infidels' heads with a rusty scimitar."

 

[Ajesh]

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

 

[Ajesh]

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now.

 

[abhi_the _gr8_maratha]

teaches: why china has highest population in the world?
student: because there condoms are made in china

 

[Armand2REP]

I would never condone our engineers building bridges in India for chickens... for cows yes.

 

[aragorn]

Just managed to peek into the transcript of a conversation between a customer and a Pakistani call center worker at the only such establishment in the country.

Customer: Hello
Call Center Worker (CCW): Guddmoaning.
Customer: Umm"¦it's evening here"¦? Where are you?
CCW: You infidel, you lie. You make night into day.
Customer: I'm so sorry, but may I know your name.
CCW: Yo.
Customer: Yo, Yo.
CCW: Not Yoyo, just Yo.
Customer: That's a strange name.
CCW: Don't fool me. I watch American serials. They all call each other by "yo". Popular name it is.
Customer: Okay, sure Yo. I get where you're coming from. I have a problem"¦
CCW: I have problem too. My wife ugly, my second wife uglier, my third wife ugliest. You will marry me, no?
Customer: Say what? You already have three wives. Anyway, why should I want to marry you?
CCW: I can marry four times. And I want to be in America, very badly. You marry me?
Customer: No way.
CCW: Trouble for you. You know, our President say we building world's tallest building. We use it for target practice. Be warned.
Customer: Ugh"¦can we get to my problem now?
CCW: Your husband marry me? In America, men can marry men, no?
Customer: No way.
CCW: He can. We Pakistanis prefer men anyway. I'm trained mullah. I convert him.
Customer: He doesn't need to be converted, and he's not gay!
CCW: Yes, I see. With bad wife like you, he not happy, surely. Doh!
Customer: Doh?
CCW: You fool me again? Doesn't Homer say "Doh"? I watch American TV, so much sex and violence. We only have violence here.
Customer: Look, neither I nor my husband have the faintest desire to marry you. Get that? All I want to know is why there's an additional charge of $312 on by cell bill for calling"¦er"¦.Jeddah?
CCW: Someone at center must be talking to Al Qaeda friend. You have problem?
Customer: Er"¦why so I have to pay for it?
CCW: It your holy duty. You complain, you pay more $100"¦to me. I need buy new Kalashnikov, my ugly wives talk too much.
Customer: I have to pay another $100?
CCW: Only that. If you nice, you pay more, my local mosque need new Stinger missile. I charge your credit card now"¦ok?
Customer: No, not okay. You can't just take my money!
CCW: I already did.
Customer: Good grief. I'm going to complain about you, I want to speak to your supervisor.
CCW: My supervisor not talk to you, he not back from Beslan yet.
Customer: Good God, okay, I'm going to cancel my service to this company.
CCW: You cancel, you in trouble. I know where you live. And I get new Kalashnikov. (Sniggers).
Customer: Ooooooooh"¦(Faints).

 

[TrueSpirit1]

 

[Cadian]

http://s00.yaplakal.com/pics/pics_original/4/9/8/3199894.jpg

 

[ramakrishna]

[video]http://a.gifb.in/052011/1305890712_guy_in_swimming_pool_scares_cat.gif[/video]

 

[Ajesh]

I know 10 facts about you:

Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment.