Jokes Thread

[aragorn]

Just read it on FB


कजरी एक बार छुटपन में जिद पर अड़ गये थे ....
बोले की छिपकली खाऊंगा. घरवालों ने बहुत
समझाया पर नहींमाने. हार कर
अन्ना जी को बुलाया गया. वे जिद तुड़वाने में
महारथी थे. अन्ना के आदेश पर एक
छिपकली पकड़वाई गई. उसे प्लेट में परोस कजरी मियां के सामने रख अन्ना बोले, ले खा...
कजरी मचल गये. बोले, तली हुई खाऊंगा.
अन्ना ने छिपकली तलवाई और दहाड़े, ले अब
चुपचाप खा. कजरी फिर गुलाटी मार गये और
बोले, आधी खाऊंगा. छिपकली के दो टुकड़े
किये गये. कजरी अन्ना से बोले, पहले आप खाओ. अन्ना ने आंख नाक और भी ना जाने
क्या क्या भींच किसी तरह
आधी छिपकली निगली... अन्ना के
छिपकली निगलते ही कजरी मियां दहाड़
मार कर रोने लगे की आप तो वो टुकड़ा खागये
जो मैंने खाना था. अन्ना ने धोती सम्भाली और वहां से भाग निकले की अब
जरा भी यहां रुका तो ये दुष्ट
दूसरा टुकड़ा भी खिला कर मानेगा... सीख :
करना-धरना कुछ नहीं,नौटंकी दुनिया भर की..

 

[arnabmit]

Spoiler

Profanity alert!

 

[arnabmit]

 

[arnabmit]

 

[kseeker]

4 Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's square :ranger:

The 1st Catholic man tells his friends, " My son is a PRIEST; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'FATHER'."

The 2nd Catholic man tells his friends, " My son is a BISHOP; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'YOUR GRACE'."

The 3rd Catholic man tells his friends, " My son is a CARDINAL; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'YOUR EMINENCE'."

The 4th Catholic man tells his friends, " My son is THE POPE; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'YOUR HOLINESS'."

Since, the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee :ranger: in silence, the 4 men give her a subtle, "well...?"

She then proudly replies, " I have a DAUGHTER, SLIM, TALL, 36" 24" 36" ; when she walks into a room, people say....."

Jeeesssssus

 

[sydsnyper]

LOLOLOLOLOL This is your best one I have read so far...... Ed Zachary..... I recently had a chinese manager call a meeting in his 'loom', and is proud of his installation 'manure'...

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid that there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist, so she did.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was told.

Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not
haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what
is Ed Zachary disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

 

[kseeker]

LOLOLOLOLOL This is your best one I have read so far...... Ed Zachary..... I recently had a chinese manager call a meeting in his 'loom', and is proud of his installation 'manure'...

Installation manure ound

 

[sydsnyper]

Yeah.....in one of his bouts of excitement he once said.... "..we may be wannarebre to mare in the meter attacks....."

Installation manure ound

 

[fzaq]

 

[Mad Indian]

Medical humour from my own college- Madras medical College.

Courtesy - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Madras-medical-college-memes/618520161503919

 

[arnabmit]

 

[AVERAGE INDIAN]

 

[AVERAGE INDIAN]

 

[AVERAGE INDIAN]

 

[AVERAGE INDIAN]

 

[kseeker]

In a " Mental Hospital " a journalist asked the Doctor: How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not ??

Dr: Well, We'd fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the BathTub"¦

Journalist: Oh, Obviously a normal person would use d bucket bcoz its bigger"¦
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Dr: " No, A normal person would pull d drain plug !!

Please go to bed No.419; We will start further investigations"
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You also thought that normal person will use a bucket"¦. Now please go to bed no. 420

 

[arnabmit]

Delhi Govt Designate:

 

[anoop_mig25]

 

[anoop_mig25]

 

[cobra commando]

"AH"