- Joined
- Oct 3, 2009
- Messages
- 11,115
- Likes
- 14,530
Happy New Enthusiasm !
Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Daredevil
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2009
- Messages
- 11,115
- Likes
- 14,530
Nein German spies
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2009
- Messages
- 13,811
- Likes
- 6,734
An Arab couple went 2 London..
1 day in the hotel room,
husband heard his wife screaming
'Farra Farra'
(it is d arabic word for Mouse)..
He wanted to inform Room Service but dint know English word for Farra.
Husband: Hello Room Service?
Room Service: Yes Sir, how can I help u?.
Husband : you no Tom n Jerry?
Room Service: Yes Sir, I know Tom n Jery..
Husband : Walla , JERRY is here! Tell him to get out the room, my habibi afraid Jerry.
1 day in the hotel room,
husband heard his wife screaming
'Farra Farra'
(it is d arabic word for Mouse)..
He wanted to inform Room Service but dint know English word for Farra.
Husband: Hello Room Service?
Room Service: Yes Sir, how can I help u?.
Husband : you no Tom n Jerry?
Room Service: Yes Sir, I know Tom n Jery..
Husband : Walla , JERRY is here! Tell him to get out the room, my habibi afraid Jerry.
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2011
- Messages
- 7,701
- Likes
- 9,099
I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me"¦It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lord"¦ And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family.'
.
.
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car"¦
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me"¦It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lord"¦ And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family.'
.
.
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car"¦
An Army Sniper goes to a Rifle shop to buy new scope for his Gun.
Manager takes out one & says: "This scope is so good, U can see my house 1 km up on that hill"
Sniper looks through the scope & laughs :"I see a naked man & a naked woman in your house".
Manager looks in the scope & gives 2 bullets to sniper :
"I'll give u this scope for free, If u shoot my wife's head & the guy's Dick off".
Sniper looks again in the scope : "Well ! Seems like I can do that with one bullet."
Manager takes out one & says: "This scope is so good, U can see my house 1 km up on that hill"
Sniper looks through the scope & laughs :"I see a naked man & a naked woman in your house".
Manager looks in the scope & gives 2 bullets to sniper :
"I'll give u this scope for free, If u shoot my wife's head & the guy's Dick off".
Sniper looks again in the scope : "Well ! Seems like I can do that with one bullet."
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2011
- Messages
- 14,139
- Likes
- 8,594
Last edited by a moderator:
Neil
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2010
- Messages
- 2,818
- Likes
- 3,546
A Pakistani US citizen goes to the doctor because he just simply doesn't feel good. He's tired, his stomach is upset, & he has a headache. Just feels terrible. The doctor checks him over and can't find any medical reason for him to feel the way he does.
He offers a Naturotherepy approach that he has seen work before. The Pakistani man is stunned, though, that the treatment means he has to go home, shit and piss into a bucket and leave it in his basement for a week.
Trust me," the doctor says, "I have seen this work."
The man goes home and follows through on the instructions. Within a day, though his house smells terrible and by the end of the week, it is an overwhelming stench. His eyes water every time he walks in the door, but he feels no better. He calls to yell at the doctor who calmly says," Go down and take three big deep breaths directly from the bucket and you will be cured."
"You're crazy!" comes the reply.
"Trust me." says the doctor.
Down he goes into the basement and he takes the first breath. Gagging and choking, he does it again. Then, on the third breath, he feels the headache leave. His stomach settles and he feels amazingly well. The stench is even tolerable.
He calls the doctor to tell him the good news. "I told you I've seen this work with people from Pakistan before," says the
doctor.
"YOU WERE JUST HOMESICK " "YOU MISSED THE SWEET SMELL OF A ROTTEN SOCIETY"
He offers a Naturotherepy approach that he has seen work before. The Pakistani man is stunned, though, that the treatment means he has to go home, shit and piss into a bucket and leave it in his basement for a week.
Trust me," the doctor says, "I have seen this work."
The man goes home and follows through on the instructions. Within a day, though his house smells terrible and by the end of the week, it is an overwhelming stench. His eyes water every time he walks in the door, but he feels no better. He calls to yell at the doctor who calmly says," Go down and take three big deep breaths directly from the bucket and you will be cured."
"You're crazy!" comes the reply.
"Trust me." says the doctor.
Down he goes into the basement and he takes the first breath. Gagging and choking, he does it again. Then, on the third breath, he feels the headache leave. His stomach settles and he feels amazingly well. The stench is even tolerable.
He calls the doctor to tell him the good news. "I told you I've seen this work with people from Pakistan before," says the
doctor.
"YOU WERE JUST HOMESICK " "YOU MISSED THE SWEET SMELL OF A ROTTEN SOCIETY"
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2011
- Messages
- 14,139
- Likes
- 8,594
With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you about drinking and driving after a "social session" with friends.
Well, this past Saturday, I was out on a pre-Thanksgiving evening with friends. I had a few cocktails, followed by a handful of glasses of vintage red wine. Despite the jolliness, I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home.
Sure enough, there was a police road block on the freeway but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was both a great relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
Well, this past Saturday, I was out on a pre-Thanksgiving evening with friends. I had a few cocktails, followed by a handful of glasses of vintage red wine. Despite the jolliness, I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home.
Sure enough, there was a police road block on the freeway but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was both a great relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2009
- Messages
- 20,311
- Likes
- 8,403
| Thread starter | Similar threads | Forum | Replies | Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
History memes and Jokes thread | History & Culture | 33 | |
| D | Defence, Geopolitics memes and jokes | Military Multimedia | 10 | |
|
Memes & Jokes India China Standoff 2020 | Members Corner | 334 | |
|
Social Humour: Jokes on Ramdev after his inflammatory remark | Members Corner | 1 |
