Jokes Thread

utubekhiladi

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In the nineties when Rahul Gandhi was pretending to be studying abroad, he got real bored and decided to take up the job as a data entry operator. During his company's periodic password audit, Rahul Gandhi was found to be using this password:

GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinnieDelhi

When he was asked why he had such a long password, RG said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."



Q: Why did Rahul Gandhi stare at the frozen orange juice?

A: Because it said "concentrate."
 

utubekhiladi

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Rahul Gandhi got lost in his car in a snow storm. He remembered what his uncle Quotrocci had once told him. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and he started to follow it. He followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked him what he was doing. He explained that his uncle had told him if he ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart"¦"
 

W.G.Ewald

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In the nineties when Rahul Gandhi was pretending to be studying abroad, he got real bored and decided to take up the job as a data entry operator. During his company's periodic password audit, Rahul Gandhi was found to be using this password:

GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinnieDelhi

When he was asked why he had such a long password, RG said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."



Q: Why did Rahul Gandhi stare at the frozen orange juice?

A: Because it said "concentrate."
Over here we call these "moron jokes."

The Largest Jokes Collection of Morons Jokes in the Internet
 

utubekhiladi

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Veronique Carlos, Columbian drug lord girlfriend of Rahul Gandhi took him to a football game for the first time. After the game she asked him how he liked the game. "Oh, I really liked it," he said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents." "What on earth do you mean???" "Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
 

utubekhiladi

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Rahul Gandhi and Varun Gandhi went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and Rahul Gandhi bet Varun Gandhi $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so Rahul Gandhi gave Varun Gandhi $50. Varun Gandhi said, "I can't take this, you're my cousin." But Rahul Gandhi insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then Varun Gandhi said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." Rahul Gandhi replied "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
 

utubekhiladi

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Before Rahul Gandhi 'managed' to get (or buy) a degree from LSE, he was the butt of jokes for his lack of education. So in a fit of anger to prove that he could compete with the best, he went to a job interview for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

Rahul Gandhi: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Rahul Gandhi's reply, asked) "WHY"?

Rahul Gandhi: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!
 

Ash

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She
said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds."

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started..
 

Ash

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A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl
about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked...
"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she did... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had!
That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't
like me dressing up as a girl"
 

Ash

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Friend 1- "My wife left me last Wednesday...she said she is going out for milk and never came back"
Friend 2- "Bugger...how are you coping?"
Friend 1 - "Not bad , I'm using the powdered stuff"
 

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