pmaitra
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Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Daredevil
- Start date
How may of you have friends like these ?
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Totally jealous. Going to Russia with a cameraman.Courtesy: Yusuf
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sayareakd
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great expressions with the ladies. He sure is lucky man.Courtesy: Yusuf
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Twinblade
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A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction
"85 pounds for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
"85 quid! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
"That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"
"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and would knock 15 pounds off."
"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without any anaesthetic?"
"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop by 20 pounds."
"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
"It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "I'll charge you 5 pounds but it will be traumatic."
"Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman. "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"
"85 pounds for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
"85 quid! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
"That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"
"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and would knock 15 pounds off."
"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without any anaesthetic?"
"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop by 20 pounds."
"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
"It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "I'll charge you 5 pounds but it will be traumatic."
"Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman. "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"
https://twitter.com/sardesairajdeep/status/233408477551263747
Rajdeep SardesaiVerified
"@sardesairajdeep
Ramdev begins agitation to bring back black money. Can he first ensure a good monsoon please? Have a good day!
Rajdeep SardesaiVerified
"@sardesairajdeep
Ramdev begins agitation to bring back black money. Can he first ensure a good monsoon please? Have a good day!
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And to think he was paid to do that...:why:Courtesy: Yusuf
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Oracle
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a good-looking woman sitting on a stool.
He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going?"
She turns to him, looks deep into his eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter."
He says, "No kidding! What law firm are you with?"
He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going?"
She turns to him, looks deep into his eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter."
He says, "No kidding! What law firm are you with?"
Oracle
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An Iraqi soldier buys a camel, ties it up outside his local bar, and walks inside.
"Nice camel," says one of his buddies. "Is it male or female?"
"Female," he replies.
"How can you tell?" asks his friend.
"Well, on the way over here," the man explains, "I heard this guy yell, 'Hey, look at the big pussy on that camel!'"
"Nice camel," says one of his buddies. "Is it male or female?"
"Female," he replies.
"How can you tell?" asks his friend.
"Well, on the way over here," the man explains, "I heard this guy yell, 'Hey, look at the big pussy on that camel!'"
Oracle
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Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where St. Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates. Since they've all led exemplary lives, he lets each say any woman's name and she'll go back to Earth for six months as that person.
"Sophia Loren," says the first nun - and poof, she disappears.
"Madonna," says the second nun, and she disappears, too.
"Sara Piplini," says the third nun.
"Who's that?" asks St. Peter.
The nun hands him a newspaper clipping. He reads and says, "I'm sorry, sister, but you've got it all wrong. It's the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1,400 men in six months."
"Sophia Loren," says the first nun - and poof, she disappears.
"Madonna," says the second nun, and she disappears, too.
"Sara Piplini," says the third nun.
"Who's that?" asks St. Peter.
The nun hands him a newspaper clipping. He reads and says, "I'm sorry, sister, but you've got it all wrong. It's the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1,400 men in six months."
anoop_mig25
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anoop_mig25
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