Jokes Thread

[Swesh]

*खुद का चलाया हुआ तीर पकड़ने वाला विश्व का पहला धनुर्धर *

Look carefully he is practicing taking " UDTA TEER"

 

[sydsnyper]

You can’t impregnate someone with sperm from a used condom. For starters condom are coated with a substance that kills the sperm inside.
Moreover that store above is fake. It’s a satire story. You can google it. It came on snope website

Even the Drake story ? That was quoted in a couple of podcasts also..

 

[Blademaster]

Even the Drake story ? That was quoted in a couple of podcasts also..

I think it’s fake too. Just another variation of the billionaire/millionaire story.

 

[Haldilal]

Ya'll Nibbiars

 

[zanxjay]

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Oy vey!

 

[sydsnyper]

 

[FalconSlayers]

 

[Butter Chicken]

 

[Hindu Nationalist]

Naked man jumps off the plane. ATC conversation

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

youtube.com

 

[Alamarathan]

NSFW A dog and a cat are having an argument about who is the favorite with humans. The dog says, “humans like us more; they even named a tooth after us (the canine). Naming an important body part after us proves they like dogs more.”

The cat smiles and says, “Guess what? You are not going to win this one”

 

[Alamarathan]

 

[Alamarathan]

Bills happy hours

 

[Alamarathan]

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!"

They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?".

They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!"

As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.

Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?"
The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the christians,
I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way"

 

[Alamarathan]

A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer.... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?' Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. Yes,' he informed the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?' St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple. 'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?

 

[Alamarathan]

 

[Alamarathan]

 

[Alamarathan]

 

[Alamarathan]

 

[Alamarathan]

 

[Alamarathan]