Jokes Thread

Alamarathan

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One day a bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods, when suddenly a magic stork flys down from the sky and calls the two of them over.

The stork says he's seen them be aggressive to eachother for weeks now and he'll offer them both 3 wishes each if they stop. The bear being greedy says "I'm going first" so the stork says Ok and asks the bear his first wish..

"I want and big huge bear cock says the bear, so I can fuck the shit outta the other bears with my big bear cock". The stork waves his magic wand and gives the bear his Big huge bear cock.

He turns to the rabbit for his first wish. "I want a motorcycle helmet" says the rabbit. A little confused the stork says okay and waves his magic wand and gives the rabbit a motorcycle helmet. He turns to the bear and asks for his second wish.

"I want all the other bears in these woods to be turned to female he says, so I can fuck them all with my big bear cock". The stork waves his magic wand and turns all the bears in the surrounding forest to female, he turns to the rabbit for his second wish..

"I want a motorcycle" says the rabbit. Okay says the stork and waves his magic wand and gives the rabbit a motorcycle. Then turns to the bear for his last wish.

"I want all the bears in the rest of the world to be female so I can fuck them all with my big bear cock" says the bear. So the stork waves his wand and turns all the bears in the world to female and the bear looks pleased. So he asks the rabbit for his final wish.

The rabbit pauses for a second, puts on the helmet and climbs on the bike, starts it up and then he says "I wish the Bear was gay"
 

Alamarathan

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Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on the beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a bikini came walking straight towards them.

They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good morning, Father,' and 'Good morning, Father.', nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them!

Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.

After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

Again she nodded at each of them, said: 'Good morning, Father,' and 'Good morning, Father.' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?' 'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

- "Father, it's me,' she replied, 'Sister Agatha!"
 

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