A chicken crosses the road

[Tolaha]

And DFI erupts....

@civfanatic: The chicken fearlessly crossing the road is a proof that the rise of the Buddhist Soviet empire is around the corner.
@LurkerBaba likes it.

@Iamanidiot: Just checked it on Twitter. Its due to the Brahmins.
@parijataka: That doesn't make sense at all. Please elaborate the one-liner.
@MadIndian: I knew it. Castism is the reason that chicken was forced to cross the road. Give the chicken some reservation.
@SPIEZ jumps into the argument and then next few pages, he and @MadIndian debate voraciously about Brahminism.

@KS exclaims that as hens have been represented in Indian mythology, chicken running away is symbolic of Hinduism being under threat in India. He asks everyone to stop minority appeasement so that the chicken can stay in its home without fear of the Muslims.
@rock127 likes it
@Dovah Asks @KS if he has checked the latest menu at KFC. It's awesome!
@Messaih: The only advantage of hyping a chicken crossing the road is to the right wing party. This is a BJP conspiracy.
@KS and @Messaih fight it out.
@nrj intervenes saying both Congress and BJP are criminals.

@nimo_cn: Obviously, the chicken feels humiliated by the oppression it faces daily in India and so it is trying to escape.
@ice berg likes it

@Ray: Explains what a hen and a cock is and then wonders aloud if that road had become news-worthy simply because it was built using Chinese equipment
@W.G.Ewald likes it.

Chinese members jump on @ray.

@Yusuf: What that chicken did was nothing! Look at this video of the chicken that I recorded using my iPhone. The clarity is amazing, isn't it?

@tony4562: Chickens in India are so dark. Chinese ones are fair and so are healthy.
@Armand2REP: huh... Chinese chickens are fair because they are fed with shit. If India wants its chicken to cross the road safely, it should get the French to build proper bridges.

@no smoking: Pastes pictures of Indian toilets
@farhan_9909 likes it
@Blackwater pastes pictures of Pakistani toilets.
@Defcon 1 asks @Blackwater to stop it.

@p2prada: Obviously chicken crossing over becomes news because of the pathetic roads we have. I'm sure DRDO had a hand in building that road.
@ersakthivel: Jumps into the argument by collecting links of different birds and animals crossing the road safely in India and asking @p2prada why only the chickens should have issue?
@Damian: Announces that the design of Indian chickens are faulty and so they take ages to cross the road. He blames the poor strength of the legs for this problem and then asks the members to see for themselves in the pic he has posted. Posts the picture of an Indian snake.
@methos likes it

@ersakthivel and @Damian argue for the next 10 pages.
@Kunal Biswas intervenes and threatens to fire at anyone who posts in an unacceptable manner!
@Shaitan posts images of different types of cocks in India.

@Rage puts up a detailed post on how the chicken crossing the road does not have any effect on India's Nuclear NFU policy.

@Agnostic Muslim comments that everyone was simply jumping to conclusions based on a picture that the chicken had indeed crossed the road. As he was not present there while that happened, he isn't convinced.
@Asim Aquil retorts that @Agnostic Muslim was attacking his website to cover up the act of the chicken crossing the road.
DFI gets DDOSed and goes offline for a few hours.

@Bangalorean says that he thought the thread was about chiks!
@Razor asks him to paste pics of chiks rather than talk about chiks!
@blank_quest likes it

@sayareakd measures the size of the chicken's legs, shows the orientation of the chickens shadow against the sun in the background and proves that the pic was not taken in India.
@pmaitra explains the same thing in technical jargon.

@Singh closes the thread as there was no link pasted along with the OP.

 

[civfanatic]

@Tolaha

Well-played. You deserve a like for nearly causing my death through excessive laughter.

 

[p2prada]

Clearly sums up the discussions I have had recently with a certain someone.

 

[Shaitan]

@W.G.Ewald


Ewald likes everything indiscriminately.


@Damian @methos

talks about the chicken's design flaws.



edit

Tolaha got those too.

 

[nimo_cn]

Huh, I like it

 

[Shaitan]

@sayareakd measures the size of the chicken's legs, shows the orientation of the chickens shadow against the sun in the background and proves that the pic was not taken in India.

@KS exclaims that as hens have been represented in Indian mythology, chicken running away is symbolic of Hinduism being under threat in India. He asks everyone to stop minority appeasement so that the chicken can stay in its home without fear of the Muslims.

@Armand2REP: huh... Chinese chickens are fair because they are fed with shit. If India wants its chicken to cross the road safely, it should get the French to build proper bridges.

@Agnostic Muslim comments that everyone was simply jumping to conclusions based on a picture that the chicken had indeed crossed the road. As he was not present there while that happened, he isn't convinced.
@Asim Aquil retorts that @Agnostic Muslim was attacking his website to cover up the act of the chicken crossing the road.
DFI gets DDOSed and goes offline for a few hours.

@Damian: Announces that the design of Indian chickens are faulty and so they take ages to cross the road. He blames the poor strength of the legs for this problem and then asks the members to see for themselves in the pic he has posted. Posts the picture of an Indian snake.

@civfanatic: The chicken fearlessly crossing the road is a proof that the rise of the Buddhist Soviet empire is around the corner.

This is more LB.

 

[Sakal Gharelu Ustad]

@civfanatic comments that earlier the chicken was not crossing the road because it believed in iron age religious text books. Now that it has become modern, it knows there is no sin.
@Virendra counters the argument and claims the chicken did not do the right thing as it did not interpret the text correctly.

Best,
Virendra

@spikey360 produces some data about how many chickens crossed roads in different states in India.
@VIP looks at the above data to tell everyone Modi is a big help for the chickens which cross the road for business purpose.

 

[The Messiah]

I like what i see.

You should do more of this. Waiting for more :thumb:

 

[The Messiah]

I found this the most funny

@tony4562: Chickens in India are so dark. Chinese ones are fair and so are healthy.
@Armand2REP: huh... Chinese chickens are fair because they are fed with shit. If India wants its chicken to cross the road safely, it should get the French to build proper bridges.

@no smoking: Pastes pictures of Indian toilets
@farhan_9909 likes it
@Blackwater pastes pictures of Pakistani toilets.

 

[Razor]

@Tolaha : Too good, man. You should do more. :thumb:

Btw next time post the pics.

 

[Agnostic Muslim]

Brilliant!

 

[Yusuf]

Never knew @Tolaha could tickle the funny home so much. May be its the result of the cold he is suffering coz his wife takes the entire blanket and leaves nothing for him!

 

[Agnostic Muslim]

@Agnostic Muslim comments that everyone was simply jumping to conclusions based on a picture that the chicken had indeed crossed the road. As he was not present there while that happened, he isn't convinced.

The picture merely indicated that the Chicken was on one side of the road, it does not substantiate the claim that the Chicken crossed the road - perhaps the Chicken was always on that side of the road ...

@Asim Aquil retorts that @Agnostic Muslim was attacking his website to cover up the act of the chicken crossing the road.
DFI gets DDOSed and goes offline for a few hours.

 

[Yusuf]

The picture merely indicated that the Chicken was on one side of the road, it does not substantiate the claim that the Chicken crossed the road - perhaps the Chicken was always on that side of the road ...

The chicken was forced to cross the road due to Pak sponsored terror attacks

 

[pmaitra]

I almost burst my sides laughing. Well put @Tolaha.

If I may add more:
@badguy2000 opens a thread about a Chinese chicken's visit to India, with plenty of pictures of chickens peeing in public.
@LETHALFORCE reports that post.
@Akim posts a picture of a Ukrainian chicken driving a Zaparozhets, to calm things down.
@Armand2REP posts a video of chickens allied with the Syrian rebels shooting down a Syrian helicopter shouting Allah-hu-Akbar.
@maomao responds to that with the retort "religion of peace."
@Shaitan posts a picture of a chicken with the unfinished hull of IAC in the background sitting as it was 5 months ago.
@Dejawolf posts a picture of a chicken in 3D.
@asianobserve argues that the fried chicken endorsed by Obama is better than the one endorsed by Romney.
@average american likes it.
@Known_Unknown says it is better to kill humans than kill chicken.
@W.G.Ewald picks a fight with the 3 above.
@Yusuf plays Mr. :cool2: and offers frozen chicken legs to everyone.
@satish007 suggest @cinoti to eat frozen chicken legs instead of a keyboard.
@VIP explains why Narendra Modi is the best CM - that's because he doesn't eat chicken.
@Blackwater posts a video of a hen performing a mujra.
@Singh tells @Blackwater not to troll in this thread.
@hello_10 opens a new thread with 500 news articles, with every mention of the word 'chicken' in large red emboldened fonts.
@Bhadra asks everyone to talk about a different bird, which is extinct, and calls anyone who talks about chicken a partisan.
@Sakal Gharelu Ustad explains why poultry farmers should get credit for chicken farming and pay interest on the credit.
@panduranghari explains why creditors don't deserve interest because it is usurious.
@The Messiah endorses killing of chicken.
@pmaitra approves only two acceptable ways of killing a chicken - either smash it with a hammer or hack it with a sickle.

No offense to anyone. This is just for fun.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

http://philosophy.eserver.org/philosophy/chicken.txt

 

[Shaitan]

@Shaitan posts a picture of a chicken with the unfinished hull of IAC in the background sitting as it was 5 months ago.

 

[W.G.Ewald]

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

 

[W.G.Ewald]

A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."

 

[Dovah]

@tony4562: Chickens in India are so dark. Chinese ones are fair and so are healthy.

Respect, man.