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lol got this on my cellphone: Dhirubhai calling from heaven '' So Anil how's reliance mobile working out ?'' Anil ''Can't hear you dad call me on my Airtel number''

Sardarji: I divorced my wife on d 1st nite. Frnd: Why? Sardar: I saw d lebel on her panties, "Tested OK by Mafatlal & Sons." ************************************ Sardarji : my wife is very afraid of water Frnd :How do you know? Sardarji : When i went home she was taking a bath in the bathtub...

Santa : I couldn't convince my girl to marry me Banta: Did you tell her you have a crorepati chacha? Santa: Yes i did.... Banta : what happened ? santa: She's now my chachi ************************* What's a girlfriend? addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies and...

Penisham went to the Doctor with a problem Penisham: Doctor i have a problem!! Doctor : What's the problem? Penisham: First promise not to laugh.... Doctor: Why? Penisham: Please promise not to laugh......... Doctor: ok ok i promise not to laugh Pensiham pulled down his pants and the...

Once three sardars decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. So, the youngest sardar said he would go home and get the soda if the others promised not to eat the sandwiches until he got back. An hour, a couple of hours, then all day went by...

Mayawati came to Lalu’s house with a goat Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho? Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai. Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications. She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources...

On the return of the Indian contingent from the Olympics games from Athens. The press reporters met and the following questions were asked to the IndianHead of the delegation..... Q 1. What did you gain from the Athens Olympics? We learnt a lot. Q 2. What are your plans for the Beijing...

*Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops. *Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card. *"One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in...

*Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants. *Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi. *Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the...

*The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'. *Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. *The 11th commandment is “Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris” This...

*Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean. *Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver. *MacGyver immediately tried to...

*Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel. *If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your...

*Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat. *If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. *If Chuck Norris were a...

*Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. *Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. *Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego...

*When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. *Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. *Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence...

Chuck Norris Facts *If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. *There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. *Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. *Chuck Norris...

Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving." Yo mama teeth...

Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine. Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama middle name is Rambo. Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." Yo mama so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even...