When I arrived in USA, I was wearing a short kurta over a pair of jeans. I believe my subconscious was making a statement – that the kurta represented an effort to retain my Pakistani identity. I was breaking away from my culture but a part of me wanted to hold on to it.
At the same time, I was more cautious about divulging my Pakistani heritage whenever a stranger or an acquaintance asked me where I was from. It made me uncomfortable and I resented the question.
At times I gave a clear answer, "Pakistan." On other occasions, I was evasive.
One reason was that each time I would mention Pakistan, people wanted to share everything they had heard on the evening news or read in a newspaper about Pakistani failings.
Then, the conversation would almost always lead to questions such as:
Is your family safe?
Are you going back there?
There is a war going on there.
... and so on.
I tried to avoid such discussions, but often found myself in the awkward position of apologising for and at the same time defending Pakistan and Muslims.
The more engaging friends, after sharing all their knowledge about the war on terrorism, would ask my opinion as an 'expert'. To simply avoid all these questions, many times I would say I was from India.
It was usually followed by the question, "What part of India are you from?" I responded, "North Punjab!" I was not lying.
My parents immigrated from the Indian Punjab. I am a Punjabi, my mother is from Amritsar and my father's family was connected to Jalandhar.
This became a little more complex when the subject of religion and culture would come up. Over the years, I have worked with many Jewish, Hindu and Christian doctors. Religion, faith and racial background were not problems I encountered in working with professional colleagues. The work environment in the US helped me understand other religions and ethnic perspectives. I believe in the professional world where I worked, I did not feel any prejudice.
