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ALL HOLES OPEN
This happened long ago and it is not a fairy tale.
General Sunderjee of the Mahar Regiment had taken over as the Chief of the Army Staff. He was a ‘sci-fi’ solider and apparently ahead of his time. He had done a course in the USA and so he had imbibed some egalitarianism that sent shivers through the Indian Army military relics of the British Raj. His celebrated ‘Dear Brother Officer’ letter to all officers of the Army, exhorting us to be ‘men’ and quit the cult of sycophancy, was blasphemous in military protocol, to say the least. Generals NEVER wrote to the rank and file!
The General had kick-started the Army the computerisation way. He was cranking in new fangled ‘concepts’ and making the uniform more ‘practical’ was one of the low end razzmatazz. In short, the Army was on the road to various ‘experiments’.
Sunderjee’s mobile brain was too électrique for the plebeian. Of the experiments with the uniform, one was to have Regimental insignias on the collar. The Adjutant General was exhausted and out of his depth with whether to have the Regimental insignia on the collar or have it not, since some British relic Colonels of the Regiment were having serious misgivings in having their officers lit up like Christmas trees, while some others liked the idea â€" if only to show ‘solidarity’ with the Chief for obvious reasons. The result was like Alice in Wonderland. Instead of the heads, the regimental insignias were on one day and off the next day! The only thing permanent in this exercise to ‘practicality’ in the uniform was the ensuing holes in the collars where the insignia jumped off and on like cats on the hot tin roof. Further, it was ‘impractical’ financially to have sets of uniform to suit the mood of the day of the Adjutant General!
The Mahar Regiment, to which I belonged, opted not to have the insignia. Hence, they had holes in their collar since the insignia was no longer there. Notwithstanding, the Adjutant General remained confused as to what he had ordered and what he had not! And we preferred the holes â€" lest there was another change of heart for the collar insignia.
During this ‘momentous’ era of the Indian Army, I was an instructor at the College of Combat, Mhow in the Junior Command Wing.
Since he was an enigma, General Sunderjee was touring the Army and was projecting his thoughts first hand so as to have a closer interaction with the officers and ‘feel the pulse’.
The day came when he visited Mhow.
It was a balmy day when General Sunderjee arrived at Mhow. There was interest amongst those who did not know him since they wanted to know 'yeh kia cheez hain' [what type of ‘thing’ is he?] After all, in the rigid military hierarchy, no Chief had ever written a letter to all officers or had so openly talked or admitted about the growing cult of 'ji huzoor-ness' [the ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ syndrome]. Sunderjee had already had a fan following, thanks to the ‘dear Brother’ letter. Further, his fondness for things ultra modern had made him Mohamed Tuglak-ish [the crazy, but way ahead of his time, Emperor of India]. The anticipation was as keen as would some unique specimen brought to the zoo from a strange part of the world!
While the General nestled in Guest Room No 1, the instructors and the students were all hustled into Lecture Hall No 3. In spite of the Madhya Pradesh heat and the profuse sweating, none really realised the discomfort; such was the excitement!
The lecture was still a good one hour away, but like all good things of the Army, we were herded with a large time cushion that even Army husbands don’t normally insist of their wives even when they are going for an important social event! The time lag was preposterous which matched the ‘Havildar Major timing’! For the uninitiated the Havildar Major is the Non Commissioned Officer who is responsible for the discipline of the troops who congregates troops two hours before an event, if he is a bit soft in the head, and six hours earlier, if he was not!
We arrived in the Lecture Hall No 3.
In front of us we found whole lot of gizmos and arrays of wire and some sort of a contraption that was to project the slides. Remember, in those days we did not even know what ‘slides’ or ‘view-foils’ were! Music was also coming out of the battery of weird machines that were still being set up. In fact, I thought RK Film Studios had arrived to show us some film like "Satyam Shivum Sunderumjee" ("Satyam, Shivum Sunderam" was a rather "hot" film of those days). Only Zeenat Aman (the star) in the near raw was missing! In her place it was only Lieutenant Colonel UB G, who I knew from my cadet days. He was sticking various things into place and was to be the Master Of (Information Technology) Ceremonies. Since we were not allowed to move out of our seat, we watched the proceeding with bated breath. It was as if we were to witness the launch of the Apollo satellite from Cape Canaveral!
Then on the appointed hour, the Chief arrived, duly escorted by the Commandant. People craned to have the first glimpse of this man, who was already an icon like Hema Malini, the comely female film star. He was lean, thin and tall. He bettered Malini. He was smart and handsome too! The best part was that he "ran" up the stairs to the lectern on the dais. The man was really in a hurry. If that dash were anything to go by, then the Army was really on the move!
The usual banality of introduction of the guest speakers done, we were informed how fortunate we are that the Chief had ‘so graciously deemed it fit to grace the College of Combat’ etc etc. The Commandant was at his eloquent best. He then gave way, smug as a bug, for the Chief to give his ‘two penny’ bit.
The Chief commenced. There was none of the ‘Good morning, Gentlemen and Officers’ sacrament of commencing the address. He got underway with ‘Brother Officers’. Had he been a politician addressing an election rally, there would have been instant and spontaneous ‘Sunderji ki jai. Bharat Mata ki Jai {Halleluiah to Sunderjee. Victory to Mother India}’ and all the other things the guys, at these election rallies, are paid to shout with total insincerity. However, the difference was that if we were allowed sloganeering, this would have been totally sincere!! Such was the charisma and hope he had generated with his ‘Brother Officer’ letter.
He spoke of innovations that were on the anvil and what was expected of the rank and file. He told us not to overdo the ‘Sir’ part of our life and there was no need to say ‘Haanji, Sirjee, Sir’ (Right sir, sir). He assured us that saying ‘Sir’ once was adequate. In fact, he strongly advocated calling seniors by their rank, giving an example that it was absolutely adequate to call him ‘General’ without adding the ‘Sir’; just like US Army! The stuffy British relics of the Indian Army could take a running jump! The shackles of the British Raj were finally becoming a hoary past!!! The Boston Tea Party so to say â€" true Indian style!
One could observe the Indian Army brass sitting in the front seats visibly squirming!
He was candid. He said that sycophancy could not be rid of overnight. He exhorted us with an example of two men who were chased by a Tiger and had climbed a tree. One had to come down and face the Tiger and maybe die. But, the other guy would be free. Someone had to sacrifice.
That did not go well with the audience, though. It proved that Sunderjee had no idea of the Indian mentality. Catch a modern Indian sacrificing for community good! That ethos had finished with the struggle for Independence. The current struggle was to find a place in the sun, by hook or by crook and most likely, by crook. I think his over exposure to the US caused this ‘thought-mismatch’ wherein he had lost the touch of reality. It was rather odd for a Tamil Brahmin to have a mismatch since they are known to be shrewd blokes who always had their ear close to the ground and nose in the air and reacted as per the situation for the maximum payoff.
Anyway, the Chief continued and having finished the address, he was given an enthusiastic and warm standing ovation. The standing up and clapping was not a ‘done thing’, but this form of recognition was creeping in. I don’t know if it was a sycophant phenomenon or the 'loose disciplined' US ways.
Then, the address was open to questions from the floor.
There was silence.
Notwithstanding my reputation of asking questions and being awkward, I thought this was a chance to test whether he meant what he said.
So I got up to ask a question.
There was a petrified look writ large on the Commander JC Wing’s face, who was my boss. It was OK to be awkward in-house, but with the Chief…..! But it mattered to me not, at least for the moment. I was like the Gorkha. Having taken out my khukri [battle half sword], it could not return to the sheath un-bloodied.
“General, it’s all very well to take the Army from the bullock cart age into the space age. But, is it possible to do so when such a simple decision as to whether we are to wear our regimental insignia on our collar or not keeps changing practically daily? One day, we are to have holes on the collar to fix the insignia, and, the next day not. It will be appreciated that we can’t continue to have two different sets of dress to suit the mood for the day of the Adjutant Generalâ€Â.
I knew I was being obnoxious. After all, no Chief is capable of answering simple questions. I really wanted to see if the man who climbed down from the tree [namely, me] could survive.
People froze. Sacrilege had been committed! One, a cocky question; and two, instead of addressing as ‘Sir’, the addressing was with just ‘General’ and that too rather cockily which was too close for comfort!
“Hey, aren’t you Rayc of the Mahar Regiment?â€Â
“Yes, General, it’s meâ€Â
“It had to be you. Well, as far as you are concerned, irrespective of the order and the mood of the day of the Adjutant General, you have my personal permission as the Chief to keep all your holes open. I mean all your holes!!!!
Indeed, he proved that he was a Tamil Brahmin and not lost his touch! Next day onwards till I retired, I was provided enough evidence that the Chief was right. Ever since, it has always been ensured by the Army that I have all my holes opened!!!!!!!!
This happened long ago and it is not a fairy tale.
General Sunderjee of the Mahar Regiment had taken over as the Chief of the Army Staff. He was a ‘sci-fi’ solider and apparently ahead of his time. He had done a course in the USA and so he had imbibed some egalitarianism that sent shivers through the Indian Army military relics of the British Raj. His celebrated ‘Dear Brother Officer’ letter to all officers of the Army, exhorting us to be ‘men’ and quit the cult of sycophancy, was blasphemous in military protocol, to say the least. Generals NEVER wrote to the rank and file!
The General had kick-started the Army the computerisation way. He was cranking in new fangled ‘concepts’ and making the uniform more ‘practical’ was one of the low end razzmatazz. In short, the Army was on the road to various ‘experiments’.
Sunderjee’s mobile brain was too électrique for the plebeian. Of the experiments with the uniform, one was to have Regimental insignias on the collar. The Adjutant General was exhausted and out of his depth with whether to have the Regimental insignia on the collar or have it not, since some British relic Colonels of the Regiment were having serious misgivings in having their officers lit up like Christmas trees, while some others liked the idea â€" if only to show ‘solidarity’ with the Chief for obvious reasons. The result was like Alice in Wonderland. Instead of the heads, the regimental insignias were on one day and off the next day! The only thing permanent in this exercise to ‘practicality’ in the uniform was the ensuing holes in the collars where the insignia jumped off and on like cats on the hot tin roof. Further, it was ‘impractical’ financially to have sets of uniform to suit the mood of the day of the Adjutant General!
The Mahar Regiment, to which I belonged, opted not to have the insignia. Hence, they had holes in their collar since the insignia was no longer there. Notwithstanding, the Adjutant General remained confused as to what he had ordered and what he had not! And we preferred the holes â€" lest there was another change of heart for the collar insignia.
During this ‘momentous’ era of the Indian Army, I was an instructor at the College of Combat, Mhow in the Junior Command Wing.
Since he was an enigma, General Sunderjee was touring the Army and was projecting his thoughts first hand so as to have a closer interaction with the officers and ‘feel the pulse’.
The day came when he visited Mhow.
It was a balmy day when General Sunderjee arrived at Mhow. There was interest amongst those who did not know him since they wanted to know 'yeh kia cheez hain' [what type of ‘thing’ is he?] After all, in the rigid military hierarchy, no Chief had ever written a letter to all officers or had so openly talked or admitted about the growing cult of 'ji huzoor-ness' [the ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ syndrome]. Sunderjee had already had a fan following, thanks to the ‘dear Brother’ letter. Further, his fondness for things ultra modern had made him Mohamed Tuglak-ish [the crazy, but way ahead of his time, Emperor of India]. The anticipation was as keen as would some unique specimen brought to the zoo from a strange part of the world!
While the General nestled in Guest Room No 1, the instructors and the students were all hustled into Lecture Hall No 3. In spite of the Madhya Pradesh heat and the profuse sweating, none really realised the discomfort; such was the excitement!
The lecture was still a good one hour away, but like all good things of the Army, we were herded with a large time cushion that even Army husbands don’t normally insist of their wives even when they are going for an important social event! The time lag was preposterous which matched the ‘Havildar Major timing’! For the uninitiated the Havildar Major is the Non Commissioned Officer who is responsible for the discipline of the troops who congregates troops two hours before an event, if he is a bit soft in the head, and six hours earlier, if he was not!
We arrived in the Lecture Hall No 3.
In front of us we found whole lot of gizmos and arrays of wire and some sort of a contraption that was to project the slides. Remember, in those days we did not even know what ‘slides’ or ‘view-foils’ were! Music was also coming out of the battery of weird machines that were still being set up. In fact, I thought RK Film Studios had arrived to show us some film like "Satyam Shivum Sunderumjee" ("Satyam, Shivum Sunderam" was a rather "hot" film of those days). Only Zeenat Aman (the star) in the near raw was missing! In her place it was only Lieutenant Colonel UB G, who I knew from my cadet days. He was sticking various things into place and was to be the Master Of (Information Technology) Ceremonies. Since we were not allowed to move out of our seat, we watched the proceeding with bated breath. It was as if we were to witness the launch of the Apollo satellite from Cape Canaveral!
Then on the appointed hour, the Chief arrived, duly escorted by the Commandant. People craned to have the first glimpse of this man, who was already an icon like Hema Malini, the comely female film star. He was lean, thin and tall. He bettered Malini. He was smart and handsome too! The best part was that he "ran" up the stairs to the lectern on the dais. The man was really in a hurry. If that dash were anything to go by, then the Army was really on the move!
The usual banality of introduction of the guest speakers done, we were informed how fortunate we are that the Chief had ‘so graciously deemed it fit to grace the College of Combat’ etc etc. The Commandant was at his eloquent best. He then gave way, smug as a bug, for the Chief to give his ‘two penny’ bit.
The Chief commenced. There was none of the ‘Good morning, Gentlemen and Officers’ sacrament of commencing the address. He got underway with ‘Brother Officers’. Had he been a politician addressing an election rally, there would have been instant and spontaneous ‘Sunderji ki jai. Bharat Mata ki Jai {Halleluiah to Sunderjee. Victory to Mother India}’ and all the other things the guys, at these election rallies, are paid to shout with total insincerity. However, the difference was that if we were allowed sloganeering, this would have been totally sincere!! Such was the charisma and hope he had generated with his ‘Brother Officer’ letter.
He spoke of innovations that were on the anvil and what was expected of the rank and file. He told us not to overdo the ‘Sir’ part of our life and there was no need to say ‘Haanji, Sirjee, Sir’ (Right sir, sir). He assured us that saying ‘Sir’ once was adequate. In fact, he strongly advocated calling seniors by their rank, giving an example that it was absolutely adequate to call him ‘General’ without adding the ‘Sir’; just like US Army! The stuffy British relics of the Indian Army could take a running jump! The shackles of the British Raj were finally becoming a hoary past!!! The Boston Tea Party so to say â€" true Indian style!
One could observe the Indian Army brass sitting in the front seats visibly squirming!
He was candid. He said that sycophancy could not be rid of overnight. He exhorted us with an example of two men who were chased by a Tiger and had climbed a tree. One had to come down and face the Tiger and maybe die. But, the other guy would be free. Someone had to sacrifice.
That did not go well with the audience, though. It proved that Sunderjee had no idea of the Indian mentality. Catch a modern Indian sacrificing for community good! That ethos had finished with the struggle for Independence. The current struggle was to find a place in the sun, by hook or by crook and most likely, by crook. I think his over exposure to the US caused this ‘thought-mismatch’ wherein he had lost the touch of reality. It was rather odd for a Tamil Brahmin to have a mismatch since they are known to be shrewd blokes who always had their ear close to the ground and nose in the air and reacted as per the situation for the maximum payoff.
Anyway, the Chief continued and having finished the address, he was given an enthusiastic and warm standing ovation. The standing up and clapping was not a ‘done thing’, but this form of recognition was creeping in. I don’t know if it was a sycophant phenomenon or the 'loose disciplined' US ways.
Then, the address was open to questions from the floor.
There was silence.
Notwithstanding my reputation of asking questions and being awkward, I thought this was a chance to test whether he meant what he said.
So I got up to ask a question.
There was a petrified look writ large on the Commander JC Wing’s face, who was my boss. It was OK to be awkward in-house, but with the Chief…..! But it mattered to me not, at least for the moment. I was like the Gorkha. Having taken out my khukri [battle half sword], it could not return to the sheath un-bloodied.
“General, it’s all very well to take the Army from the bullock cart age into the space age. But, is it possible to do so when such a simple decision as to whether we are to wear our regimental insignia on our collar or not keeps changing practically daily? One day, we are to have holes on the collar to fix the insignia, and, the next day not. It will be appreciated that we can’t continue to have two different sets of dress to suit the mood for the day of the Adjutant Generalâ€Â.
I knew I was being obnoxious. After all, no Chief is capable of answering simple questions. I really wanted to see if the man who climbed down from the tree [namely, me] could survive.
People froze. Sacrilege had been committed! One, a cocky question; and two, instead of addressing as ‘Sir’, the addressing was with just ‘General’ and that too rather cockily which was too close for comfort!
“Hey, aren’t you Rayc of the Mahar Regiment?â€Â
“Yes, General, it’s meâ€Â
“It had to be you. Well, as far as you are concerned, irrespective of the order and the mood of the day of the Adjutant General, you have my personal permission as the Chief to keep all your holes open. I mean all your holes!!!!
Indeed, he proved that he was a Tamil Brahmin and not lost his touch! Next day onwards till I retired, I was provided enough evidence that the Chief was right. Ever since, it has always been ensured by the Army that I have all my holes opened!!!!!!!!