Pakistan pull out of the World Cup

Vikramaditya

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In the wake of various teams pulling out of tours citing "security concerns", the PCB has shocked the cricketing world by announcing that they're pulling out of the World Cup due to "insecurity concerns".

Cranking the loopiness meter all the way up to 11, PCB president Ijaz Butt said in a press conference: "I regret to announce that the Pakistan cricket team will not be participating in the upcoming World Cup tournament due to grave insecurity reasons. The concerns include potentially dangerous first-round humiliation, the high risk of mid-tournament retirements-in-a-huff by players whose names start with Y, and scandals caused by vandals throwing sandals. Taking all this into consideration, we have taken the decision to withdraw from the competition.

"While the respective governments of the host countries have indeed addressed our security concerns, they are unwilling to do anything to address our insecurity matters. So we are left with no choice," said Butt

"I am proud to be part of what is the first instance in cricket history of anyone withdrawing from a cricket engagement due to insecurity reasons," said future ex-captain Shahid Afridi, before thinking for a second and adding, "with the possible exception of SC Ganguly in that Nagpur match, of course."

"WTF? We're not participating? Then why did they bother dropping me from the probables?" asked an angry current ex-captain Shoaib Malik. Malik went on to immediately announce his retirement (for the time being) from all forms of cricket, saying he was tired of being continuously ignored by the selectors for tournaments that Pakistan were not going to play in anyway.

Meanwhile, the IPL's fourth season may yet see the involvement of former supremo Lalit K Modi after all. In a cunning masterstroke, Modi has decided to enter the IPL auction as a player.

"Muhahahahaha. The BCCI never thought of banning me from playing the IPL, right? So let them muck about in administration however they want - nothing can keep me away from my beloved IPL," grinned Modi, pleased to have pulled a fast one on the BCCI yet again.

"To tell you the truth, it's a double bluff," said Modi, revealing the details of his elaborate and evil scheme. "I'm confident the BCCI will go to extreme lengths to ban me as an IPL player, and replace me with Chirayu Amin, who will then have to relinquish his post as IPL chief. This will pave the way for my eventual return as commissioner. I've got it all planned out.

"Hey Chirayu, you're watching this? Hope you're practising your cover-drive, sucker! Maybe the Kochi franchise can buy you as the 12th man," winked Modi, looking directly into the TV cameras and waving jauntily.

In the wake of the crushing Ashes loss against England, Michael Clarke has refused to entertain any talk of retirement from the Australian vice-captaincy. "No question of it. I'll continue to be vice-captain as long as I am enjoying it, and will always be available to step into the breach and be humiliated whenever the skipper (whoever that may be) is not available to do the same," he said.

"Regardless of who becomes skipper after Ricky decides to go, I remain committed to putting my best efforts into demonstrating my inadequacy and lack of captaincy material, in the way that I have always done for my country," he added.

CRICINFO
:peace::target::peace:
LOL
 

Iamanidiot

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Are these people planning an attack on the world cup facilities .Can someone throw light in this angle
 

Vikramaditya

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Are these people planning an attack on the world cup facilities .Can someone throw light in this angle
pakistanis are not pulling out of world cup, the article is just for fun kind of article...
 

Yusuf

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JP read the whole thing mate before commenting. Its a spoof.
 

Pintu

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ROFL Good Joke , BTW , I would be happy to see them performing.

Regards
 

BunBunCake

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Well this World Cup's going to be disappointing. Pakistan won't be getting past group stage.
This means I can't watch India demolish Pakistan in the Final ;;)
 

smartindian

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guys we should not become hate morgans. if pak pulls out it will be loss to whole cricketing world
 

dineshchaturvedi

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Even if they withdraw, which I doubt they will, since they badly need cash and administrators care for just the cash.
 

neo29

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Either they are scared enough to attend the World cup or they are attending all important LeT training camp.
 

Gujjar_boy

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damn! I just thought after pull out they will plan a attack on world cup....lol.
 

A.V.

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cannot be ruled out because economic destruction of india is their main aim of the establishment across the border
 

dineshchaturvedi

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cannot be ruled out because economic destruction of india is their main aim of the establishment across the border
Sorry but I don't think they can attack India that easily then, their terror policy is seriously in trouble.
 

BunBunCake

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guys we should not become hate morgans. if pak pulls out it will be loss to whole cricketing world
India didn't give a **** about Pak players left out in IPL 3. The world hates Pakistan Cricket. Examples: England, Australia, ICC.
All this corruption is their own fault, and the world is better off not watching these idiots.
 

Blackwater

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koi farak nahi parega atleast gaand (dirt) will be out of world cup...
 

maomao

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LOL now this is called a spoof, which has a very high probability of turning into reality :D
 

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