John Kerry and the Taliban: The secret emails revealed

Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by Yusuf, Jun 27, 2013.

  1. Yusuf

    Yusuf GUARDIAN Administrator

    Mar 24, 2009
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    On June 3, 2013, Secretary of State John Kerry initiated an email exchange with the Taliban in order to lay the groundwork for peace talks that would help enable the United States to leave Afghanistan after over a decade of war.

    The exchange is reprinted here for the first time, in its entirety, and without comment.

    From: John Kerry

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    To: The Taliban

    Date: June 3, 2013

    Dear Mullah Omar,

    As my generation is fond of saying, “what a long, strange trip it’s been.” But, as you know, we’re hoping to get out of that country of yours, and would really appreciate some cooperation in that effort. I’m confident America and the Taliban want the same thing — a peaceful, free Afghanistan that’s friendly to women’s rights, religious minorities and international business — and I think the only question now is how we best bring that about.

    So how about this: you sever your ties with the bad guys once and for all, and we park our robot planes back in Utah. Deal?


    John Kerry

    From: The Taliban

    To: John Kerry

    Date: June 10, 2013

    Dear Infidel Jew John Kerry,

    I can report that Mullah Mohammad Omar, Commander of the Faithful of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan and leader of the Muslim Ummah, has received the letter you wrote. He has authorized that I respond as follows:

    As surely as the world is flat, you and your infidel brethren will burn in a fiery inferno of hellish fire. We will never accept infidel domination of our lands, not of al-Andalus (Spain) or Palestine, and not lands that should and will one day be ours, which include all lands where beasts of the earth roam and all seas where fish proliferate.

    My followers and I would rather bathe in pigs blood or spin a dreidel than meet for tea with an infidel member of the Zionist-Crusader alliance to negotiate anything. But in a spirit of mercy, I am prepared to make a generous offer. These are our demands:

    1.) You and your entire government must convert to Islam and beg for mercy from your past sins.
    2.) You must turn your military equipment over to the Mujahideen before dissolving the Infidel States of America.
    3.) Tom Friedman must be fired from the New York Times.

    If these demands are met, there is a chance the hellfire you burn in won’t be quite as hot as it normally is.

    In peace,
    Mullah Omar (via Timmy al-Amriki, American spokesman for the Taliban)
    Razor, arnabmit and W.G.Ewald like this.
  3. W.G.Ewald

    W.G.Ewald Defence Professionals/ DFI member of 2 Defence Professionals

    Sep 28, 2011
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    North Carolina, USA
    Now that's funny.

    If you read the comments at the link, many believe the memos are real. :-(
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2013
  4. Payeng

    Payeng Daku Mongol Singh

    Mar 7, 2009
    Likes Received:
    From: John Kerry

    To: The Taliban

    Date: June 17, 2013

    Dear Great of the Greatest Mullah Omar,

    All hail Taliban.
    I conveyed your message to POTUS :notbad: he is considering your recommendation with utmost priority and sincerity, such that he is inviting you and your team for a peace talk for a better and brighter tomorrow.

    Our requirement is, cooperate with America and please don't hurt American objectives overseas or at home and you can be our Major non-NATO ally for a brighter future and we remove your name from the terrorist list with full of military aids for humanitarian purpose. Moreover an USIEA Treaty organisation through a would be historic Dubai Declaration would work on a common ground and objectives for future strategic defense partnership for the security of central Asia against Chinese tyranny or a probable SCOT (not scott. btw) military alliance or any possible tilt away of balance of power from west to east.

    We assure you that we will fulfill all your recommendations later on and within the next 100 years the world will be in you footsteps. Plus life time supply of 72 virgins every day along with the best Bourbon Whiskey and chick kakab for the Mullah and his close circle.


    John Kerry on behalf of POTUS :notbad:

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