Five things women need to change about themselves - Chetan Bhagat

Discussion in 'Politics & Society' started by Ray, Mar 10, 2013.

  1. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

    Apr 17, 2009
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    Dear Ladies,

    Happy Women's Day! A lot is said on how men should change for us to respect our women better. Here are some: Men need to see women as people, not objects. Men should realize and truly believe women are as talented, capable as men, and sometimes even more so. Men should not discriminate in the work place or at home. Men have to respect boundaries and make sure their words to not make women feel uncomfortable. Men have to respect women's choices - in what they wear, where they want to go and at what time. Men should never use force or intimidation towards women.

    Yes, we men have to learn. However, the stubborn, fragile and pampered Indian male ego is a tough nut to crack. Collectively, we as Indian men, have a long way to go before our women can be proud of us. We will. At least the process has started.

    But in all this well deserved male-bashing, I hope the ladies do not miss out on another set of changes required, on themselves. Yes, for all the talk of women being denied their proper place in society, ladies need to do some self-reflection too.

    Hence, on this Women's day, I shall attempt the unthinkable. As a man, I will venture out and give women advice, on women's day. That alone is reason enough for me to be bashed to bits. However, every now and then, we men are prone to risk-taking behaviour. So forgive me, for I have dared.

    Anyway, here goes. Five things I feel women need to change about themselves, to make things better for their own kind.

    The first behaviour that needs to end is the constant desire to judge other women. Women are hard on themselves. They are harder on each other. An overweight woman enters the room. Most women are thinking 'how fat is she?' A working mother misses a PTA meeting due to an office deadline, others think 'what a terrible mother she is'. A girl in a short skirt makes other women go 'Slut!' in their heads. A pretty woman's promotion makes other women wonder what she had been up to to get the job. From an ill-fitting dress to a badly cooked dish, you are ready to judge others. This, despite knowing, you yourselves are not perfect. As a woman, it is tough enough is to survive in a male dominated world. Why be so hard on each other? Can you let each other breathe?

    Second, the faking needs to end. A common female trait is the relatively quick adaptation to feed male egos. Laughing at men's jokes when they aren't funny, accepting a raw deal in an office assignment or playing dumb to allow a man to feel superior are just a few occasions when you do your own kind no favor. Who are you? And why can't you be that person? Why are you faking it so much? If something bothers you, say it. What's the point of collectively harping on equality, when as individuals, you are happy to lapse into being clueless eye flutterers, just to keep men happy?

    Three, and this is serious, standing up for your property rights. Plenty of Indian women give up their lawful property rights for their brothers, sons or husbands. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but too many Indian women are emotional fools and need to be told so. You are not demonstrating your eternal selflessness when you give away your property. You are hurting your own kind.

    Four, women need to become more ambitious and dream bigger. All young Indians - men and women, should have a fire in their belly. Perhaps the way the Indian society is structured, our women are not encouraged to be as ambitious as men. However, for their own sake and the nation's sake, all Indian youth must have ambitions and aspirations to do well and reach their maximum potential in life. Many Indian women have done much better than men. Use them as inspiration and work towards your dreams. Your success is what will finally make Indian men respect women. Play your part.

    Five, don't be too trapped in the drama of relationships. Relationships are vital. Being a good mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend and lover are extremely important. However, don't get too tangled. You have another relationship, with yourself. Don't sacrifice so much that you lose yourself. Not regularly, but just every now and then, be a little selfish. It is when a woman will assert herself she will be taken seriously. You are not only here to assist others in living their lives. You have your own life too.

    I will end here. Hope you will see the point and intention behind what I am talking about. If not, then I am in big trouble. And there's no recourse to a men's day to save me either.

    Five things women need to change about themselves by The Underage Optimist : Chetan Bhagat's blog-The Times Of India


    And Dear Posters,

    What do you feel about this and what do you have to say?
    pmaitra likes this.
  3. JBH22

    JBH22 Senior Member Senior Member

    Jul 29, 2010
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    I really can't grasp how one can have a feeling of superiority to give others unsolicited advice.
    W.G.Ewald likes this.
  4. hit&run

    hit&run Elite Member Elite Member

    May 29, 2009
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    Women doesn't need to change themselves at all. It's men who need a good education on how to treat and exist with women.

    BTW In my opinion its too late to fix Indian men's women problem or it will take longer than the longest.
  5. Splurgenxs

    Splurgenxs Regular Member

    Aug 23, 2012
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    He casts a wide valid net and a woman is bound to fit in someplace. But what bothers me most about women ,is tht there there own worst enemy.

    ive traveled and lodged extensively, and i can say one thing from dowry to female non preference, homely doctrine to whatever subservient BS constraints women are put into, women are a 90% player in the whole process.

    and this is not coming from a masochist , i have 16 close cousin sister and most of em are drama queens.
    Not to mention my relationships.

    U see a male dominated society today? Females are there own undoing...ive had way to many such encounters to consider it merely a one off or random chance.

    what bubble do u live in? good fr u.
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2013
    arnabmit likes this.
  6. arnabmit

    arnabmit Homo Communis Indus Senior Member

    Dec 25, 2012
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    Balance… that’s what cradles life!

    If you believe in light, it's because of obscurity.
    If you believe in joy, it's because of sadness.
    And if you believe in God, it's because of the devil.

    The world runs on the principle of Yin Yang… There’s no clear demarcation between good & bad. What may be good for you might be bad for someone else. Also, there’s nothing absolutely good or absolutely bad. Everything good has some bad in it… and everything bad has some good in it. That’s the circle of life!

    Have any of you seen anything in 1D? in real life? Everything has a flip side… something to balance out. Just like matter cannot be created without producing anti-matter. Else it’d be like proving E=MC[SUP]2[/SUP] wrong!

    If you think life is unfair to you, think what u did to deserve it. If you can’t find any reason, then you’re just fooling yourself and simply not being honest.

    If you think someone is to be blamed, think what part you played in it.

    If you think you can break someone’s heart, then be prepared for lots of heartbreak coming your way.

    If you think “All men are dogs”, then “All women are bitches” is true as well!

    If you think you gave everything to a relationship still it didn’t work, then it’s time to do a reality check and think what you did or didn’t do VS what you could have done different!

    I believe the males & females of this world are the most balanced equation! If men wonder “why women are not like us?” or women think “why men can’t think like us?” it’s just because they are not supposed to!

    Men are NOT from Mars, women are NOT from Venus. They are both from this planet. DEAL WITH IT!!!
    Splurgenxs likes this.
  7. W.G.Ewald

    W.G.Ewald Defence Professionals/ DFI member of 2 Defence Professionals

    Sep 28, 2011
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    North Carolina, USA
    Just the notion that it's not men who need to change is sometimes refreshing.
    arnabmit likes this.
  8. amoy

    amoy Senior Member Senior Member

    Jan 17, 2010
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    @arnabmit I appreciate your profound understanding of Yin Yang. So vivid!

    @mods why is my avatar Yin Yang fish not showing? and am I deprived of editing power?

    Sent from my 5910 using Tapatalk 2
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2015

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