A couple of years ago, Mayank Maheshwari published an article in the Wall Street Journal about Indian mannerisms:
"Indians can never be good terrorists," argued Canadian comedian Russell Peters at one of his shows in New York City. "They don't hate Americans...they just hate each other!" For Indians like me sitting in the audience, Peters's observation struck an immediate chord. They broke out into hesitant chuckles, apprehensive whether it was just one or two of them who shared the somewhat controversial sentiment. Then, on realizing that everyone in the auditorium was chuckling, came the loud laughter.
It is a known fact among Indians and a common observation by visitors to the country that we Indians lack the manners which form the intricate fibers of any civilized society. Far from using words such as "thank you," "sorry" or "excuse me," there is a complete lack of respect for others' space or property. Road manners are non-existent, people are dirty in public places and there is a complete disregard for ethical, if not legally-enforceable, courtesies such as forming queues or tipping good servers. So much so that there are now counseling services in civic behavior and social manners recommended for Indian students and others migrating to countries like Australia or the U.K.
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The first of these can be traced back to India's feudal history and its infamous caste system, where social hierarchy was given precedence over social equanimity. Isn't it a wonder, even today then, that a deep-pocketed customer talks down to a restaurant waiter who is perceived to be of a lower class? Or that the driver of an expensive car authoritatively claims it is the fault of the motorcyclist in an accident?
The concept of a singular and unified country is also very contemporary in India's biography. It was not until 1912, when Mahatma Gandhi joined the Indian freedom struggle against the British and introduced the idea of swaraj or self-rule that India awoke to the idea of oneness. Till then, the country was a jigsaw puzzle of thousands of tehsils, kingdoms and independent territories. Having such diverse sets of people crammed into a single country—it is any wonder—led to, and is still leading to, a missing sense of civility and harmonious living.
Finally, in a country with stark poverty and with the world's second largest population, there has always been a cultural push towards single-minded competitiveness, be it in schools, offices or homes. The development of softer skills and emotional intelligence has thus been sidelined in favor of building more tangible and marketable skills. After all, why develop a refined sense of table manners when it is really the ability to crunch accounting figures that will earn the high paycheck?
