Open letter to a delhi boy

chiragc

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Wrote by my friend's friend. Boy is she on the ball on this.
Just an observation.
sri devi and hema malini have married north indians and aishwariya rai has also married north indians.
 

Iamanidiot

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Just an observation.
sri devi and hema malini have married north indians and aishwariya rai has also married north indians.
Welcome to the DFI community and please introduce your self in the members section
 

Godless-Kafir

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just because you were taking photos , the girl felt EMBRACED . LOL.....

nice imagination you have....

just by taking photos you make girls feel as if they have been embraced by your august presence . vow !!

Well that was a typo, firefox spell check really messes with your head to! lol
 

maomao

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To dear madrasan.....Delhi's reply to self-pitying madrasan - Shahana

Dear Shahana,

I'm part 'Madrasan' just like you (Tamil for those who want to know)! And I began to read your post with something akin to amusement because I live in Delhi and am very aware of the foibles of the Dilliwalas. I love it nonetheless for embracing me and giving me a home. About 5 lines down your post, I felt a little ashamed of having ever thought that I was 'just like you'. It seems nigh impossible to fall that low. For every Daalli boy living in Defence Callony there is a Medraus boy getting up 'yearly in the maarning'. Why do we as a people deride our own regional accents while swooning over a French accent? Are you ashamed of your skin, accent or your food habits? Then why jeer at theirs? You're weighed down by your colonial hangover, lady.

Autistic three year old on coke? Witty. And also so compassionate of you to think that a child with a disability is an insult. If you're playing for the South Indian team, I think you just scored a self goal. For every showy Punjabi I've encountered a stingy, parochial Madrasi who won't invite me into the house for a glass of water. For every caste based temple not allowing people in, there is a gurudwara that will feed you at the langar without bothering to ask after your background or ban your gender. But hey, I really hope the 'punjabis' don't define the whole lot of us by the odd cranky old miser that crosses their path. (And what the hell is wrong with a Happy Gurupurab text message? Admittedly I hate mass SMS saying Happy anything, but why pick on their festival messages when these do the rounds for every occasion including Happy your-mother's-best-friend's-toe-surgery-day?!)

You say you come from the land of the ugly? Speak for yourself, sister – I'm cute! And I've never understood why people take issue with muscular Punjabi men either – it's not as though we lovely doe-eyed ladies prefer pot bellies and skinny legs peeping out from under mundus? I for one would never diss my man if he worked out, simply because it's a 'punjabi' thing to do. It is merely the healthy thing to do, so you're welcome to the shapeless slugs. Or did you mean that South Indian men are by definition, unfit and shapeless? I take offence on behalf of the rather fit men in my family. Honestly, I prefer my men well groomed, not smelling of coconut oil, and definitely no dusty feet in leather slippers. In fact, speaking of working out, did you mention you're not scrawny? My sympathies – I could offer you the number of a dietician, because genetically we're blessed to be built much smaller and more petite than the Punjabans and Haryanvis (God bless their souls and the ghee loaded parathas) who have to make an effort to stay fit. So if you have a weight problem maybe you need to get off your soapbox and on to a treadmill. The first thing we women need to do is stop hating other women because we think they're hotter/ making an effort we're not willing to. I know I'd rather chomp on my murukku and slurp my coffee than get up and hit the gym – you make your own choices.

As for our guys not being good looking, I object to the apologetic sound of that sentence. I think my dad is dashing (okay, maybe I am a prejudiced daughter!) and my husband is bloody good looking (this one I have on good authority from many women) and both are true blue 'South Indians'. If we think our men are not goodlooking and that Punjabi men are the gold standard for looks, we have a problem. Actually only you have a problem. I'm okay with leering after men from all around the country, starting with Baichung Bhutia and heading down to John Abraham (he IS part Mallu, you know) and taking a full circle back to Ashutosh Gowariker. Yeah, I'm open minded and fair like that.

What was that again about SUVs and big cars? If I had a buck for every South Indian man who can't stop talking about his cars and gizmos, I'd be on a cruise instead of wasting my time writing this post right now. Our good old Coimbatore at one point had the highest number of imported cars. You might want to read this.

The open cascading tresses – clearly you haven't seen a Punjabi woman or even a Sikh man let down his hair, literally, that is. The Bongs can give us a run for our money too, in the eyes and hair department. And sistah, I quite like my shaggy flip out and refuse to buy into the stereotypical long hair and olive skin bullshit. Who are you to define my South Indianness for me? I'm dark and I love it – I don't need you to sugarcoat it for me. But with people like you sounding apologetic about our looks, it is no wonder we need to import fair skinned actresses for our films. It frustrates me. If our men appreciated us for what we are, we'd not need the 'northies' on our screens.

And really girl, did you have to bring up Hema Malini and Sridevi of all women? Them of the adultery, the second marriages, the conversions, the plastic surgery and botox fame? Aishwarya with her annoying accent (it's probably caused by the smile she got redone) and fake marriage is our claim to fame? I thank you – NOT! Funny how all three of them picked Punjabi and UP men when the time came, huh? Good for them. It just leaves the 'Madrasi' men free for us. I got my sweet boy from Karnataka instead of Ash!

One tiny matriarchal community does not a trend make. Have you missed the acid attacks? The dowry we offer for our daughters is mind-numbing. If I'm paying 3 crores for an engineer I'd like him to lose the pot belly and the hair oil please! Colleges with separate benches for boys and girls in salwar kameezes (yes, I can say it like them punjabans!). I'd hardly call that the height of freedom. Fight oppression and violence against women instead of just using statistics to score points against another city. Irrespective of geographical location, it is still our gender being oppressed.

Amma-appa sound cooler than mom-dad to you? How could you be so petty as to pick up on something so ridiculous? Were you running out of real jokes? Bharatnatyam is a higher art form than the gidda or Kathak because you say so? I'm tired of this whole 'attitude' we have because to me it reeks of inferiority. And I am damned if I am going to be made to feel inferior about my food, my body, my skin colour or my roots by you. Let's lighten up, let down the butt length tresses and accept that we play Punjabi music at our discos for fun.

You lost me at the girls doing fake marches (check out what these LSR girls are doing, by the way)? What exactly is it that other college kids are doing that is so much more significant? They're just college kids, leave them alone to have fun while they can!

What really got to me was the fleeing Pakistan reference. Would any of us consider saying something so heartless about Tibet/Kashmir/Cambodia? Are we so cold as to make a sneering reference to something that was so painful? Partition brought loss, bodies piled up in trains, blood, entire families wiped out "¦ don't we share history with them? Are you kidding when you say that you come from a defence background? I'm horrified that a girl from a defence background has been brought up to be so divisive. Is this the way the other kids in the armed forces think? I won't go into statistics of the Sikh regiment and the history of every family giving a son to the army to protect our borders, all while we were sitting around dipping our paruppu vadais in coconut chutney perfecting an attack on the chess board. So yes, we do play a killer game of chess, but oh, we owe them for giving us the safety and luxury to practice it.

As for them not liking our food – are you kidding me? The Brunch carried an article on how the dosa has become the national dish – tit for tat, take that Hindi as official language! You'll find dosas at every corner stall in Delhi and everywhere else in the country although I must raise an objection to the paneer and Chinese dosas! What if they get started on the image of licking rasam off elbows? Because if we pick on the lowest common denominator to judge them by, they have every right to define us by the elbow lickers.

By the end of your post I was embarrassed for you. For the anger, the bitterness, the hatred and the vulnerability you let slip through. I have no idea what brought it on, but a good bottle of wine and some girl friends and a box of tissues might have been more effective. What you've done is unforgivable – you've drawn lines and swords and hurt a lot of my 'Punjabi' friends. And oh yes, as someone else said – if you don't want to be called Madrasi (what do you mean you're part South Indian – you know there are four states, right?), learn to differentiate between Punjabi and Delhiite. Everyone who lives in Delhi is not a Punjabi and not every Punjabi lives in Delhi. That said, everyone is welcome in Delhi, and Munirka and RK Puram are mini-Tamil Nadus themselves. I buy my dosa maav and podi from there.

And finally, I'm appalled by some of your lines – Texas chainsaw massacre your face? Your dead Dadi? Your mother's shaven bosom? Kalari your tongue up your ass? Shove so many coconuts down you? Classy. Way to lose control of your point and make a fool of yourself. Crass, rabid and divisive is what these statements are. Driving a wedge of hatred where previously there was only a cultural disparity. It's a pity you fell so low while trying to make a point on superiority or heck, even equality. To quote them Punjabis, you've MC-BCed our case altogether in this badly cobbled together, poor attempt at wit, crossing over into coarse, foul and ignoble territory. And you're dragging the rest of us into the mire as you cross that fine line between wittily irreverent and decidedly crass. Maybe you just need a good nap or a cold glass of coconut water so that you can cool off and consider what you allowed your ire to lead you into.

I apologise to all those offended by Ms Shahana's little hissy fit here. We have our good and we have our bad and to attack prejudice with prejudice is not the way the rest of us South Indians work. I need to get back to cracking my IIT now. Apparently Shahana thinks I have no other choice or mind of my own. Now where did I put my pen – in my Fendi bag or my Gucci clutch? Oh wait, I couldn't possibly know the difference, stereotypical Madrasi chick that I am.

And oh, Shahana, I have a request. In future, do not presume to write on behalf of all Madrasis. Not all of us are quite as bigoted or rabid.

Lowe,

MM (I proudly spell it Yem-Yay-Dee, Yem-O-Yem-Yem-Yay), yet another mocha coloured Madrasan married to a sweet fayer Sawth Indian boy.

PS: Okay lets kiss and make up, North and South Indians. In fact let's drag the Pakistanis into this big group hug with this lovely song – Hona Tha Pyar.

Troublemaker On Earth: An OPEN apology from a Delhi Boy

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::hail::hail:
 

maomao

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An OPEN apology from a Delhi Boy


Dear olive skinned Madrasan with big beautiful eyes and long lustrous cascading tresses,

Being in the line of fire here, I , a Delhi boy solemnly swear that in this open letter of apology I will not accuse you of shoving your seemingly condescending intelligence in my face. I shall not point out your ignorance about North Indians' love for South Indian food and not show you a South Indian Restaurant in every nook and corner of my town. I shall refrain from showing you research statistics that the market for Fair and Lovely cream in one state of the south surpasses many states of north India. In the same vein i shall not question you for women and men applying thick layers of talcum powder on their faces all the time. I shall not question your usage of " my Amma- Appa" in your conversations.


I shall not compliment your mother even in my ignorance and the urge for need-to- make-small talk about her "fairness" in a largely dark Dravidian culture for two reasons: one because that will be me pointing fingers at her Anglo-Indian Genealogy and make me a racist and secondly I do not want her to be insulted by comparing it with trivial horrors that my grandmother faced in the hands of partition. I have relived the stories of her family being butchered, daughters being raped and her sons being missing, countless times to go through it again.

I shall also not show you that where there is no discrimination towards women in your society, the cows and goats in your state find their limbs tied to their heads so that they don't wander.


I shall not do any of the above because that's just not my style.


But I shall apologize for the grave torture that I bequeathed upon you by me and my kinds. To start with I am sorry for making desperate efforts to develop "Man-boobs" especially for you and then showing them off in the hope of you getting seduced by them. I am sorry for having a terrible taste in clothes because I chose fashion trends over my unreliable judgement. I am also sorry for not pointing out your flaws like you did which I was willing to overlook because I got attracted to your intelligence in the first place, and maybe those pretty eyes. Because certainly you are too "black" to be the woman of my fantasy. I am sorry for all that.


I must have really made an impression on you that you had to pull in the analogy of people of Jeddah who are already marginalised by the english speaking west. They don't deserve such unnecessary comparison and through you I apologise to them.


It was my presumptuous pompousness that when I met you at that party I spoke to you about Nightclubs. It was an honest mistake. I assumed that you would probably be interested since in Chennai, even holding hands and walking on a public beach draws ire from the moral brigade. Maybe I should have been more conservative and mentioned the public parks in Delhi, where the policemen prevents young couples from being harassed and ensure their privacy. I am sorry about that.


I am so sorry that you feel so strongly about my Mother's pretentiousness and her backwardness. Your letter has opened my eyes and now I wish she was born in a matriarchal society like yours. She would be sorry too because it is because of her that India was always attacked from the North and societies of those times had to survive by putting them in homes and purdahs so that they could not be plundered and raped. It is her fault that as times passed things bacame bad for her and other women and the subversion just deepened. Trust me she feels that everyday and if she really had a choice in the geography and the circumstances of her birth, she might have chosen to be a south Indian. But she is glad and thankful that you, from the other side of the country are concerned about her so much. And what would I know. I am just a woman-opressing North Indian. Sorry about that too.


I am wholly apologetic for our non ability to speak English fluently. But you know in our culture English was always a second language. We were'nt discriminated or put down for our inability to speak in a language that glorified our colonial past and our primary education in the north is much to be desired. We were happy marrying men and women next door, with maybe only a college degree. Now I am realising that we should have been more elite and ambitious and only aspired for Foreign educated, west settled engineers and doctors as our potential matches. Maybe then we would have made efforts to learn the language that is not and will not be required for validating our self worth. I am sorry we were'nt learning the arts like singing and dancing as a value addition to our marriage portfolios. But we were learning how to cook great food. How dumb of us, we like good food. Also the secret to our Man-boobs by the way. Thank you for this letter because now I can polish all those important skills and I may be able to woo you in another life.


I am hating this society for hard wiring us in believing that a woman looks for financial security as one of the main traits in a man. How could I be so stupid in believing the bigots and showing off my SUV for which either I have worked my ass off or my father has worked his ass off. I am sorry for showing off that bloody SUV in your face. All I wanted at that party was to be friendly and was hoping that you get impressed by my SUV so that I could make out with you in it. I am sorry for being such a guy.



I am so sorry that the south Indian women didnt have too many good looking men around them and had to make do with only one kind of stimulation all your life. No doubt it has made you intelligent my dear Madrasan but has also scarred you for life in ways that you cant imagine.This isn't fair at all. All it has done is driven such sweet souls like yours to a place where solution to very one of your problems is violence. You have made it very clear in your letter. No one and I mean no one deserves lack of eye candy for proper growth. I shall appeal to the highest authority for migration of some good looking men from the north as desired by you. i can imagine how u felt growing up when every boy around was cramming and aspiring to be an engineer. An IITian at that too. i really wish that you spent time amongst men whose favourite pastime wasnt memorizing Resnick & Hallidays and practicing using difficult words in normal everyday conversations.


I am so glad that you turned out to be this woman who is so particular of what she wants. I admire you for having such preset conditions of what a guy must do or not do before he even considers looking at a South Indian woman. I guess I never knew that even to approach a south Indian girl to flirt or just to get to know her in a party, I would have to take care of such complications. kudos to you girl for having such high standards. All I wanted at that party was to be friendly and see if something could come out of it.


Btw I just wanted to confess to you that because of my such behaviour, all the other men around me have suffered a great deal of humiliation and stereotyping. Because of me all the men who don't have SUVs have gotten their mothers and dadis abused. Because of me some Delhi guys just like me, who genuinely love South Indian women are scared of even approaching the next sweet South Indian Girl with beautiful long hair who is beyond Vogues and fendi's, who has big dancer eyes and who doesn't even hate Dehiites.


I am truly deeply and madly sorry for my said alleged act of torturing the Madrasan


Yours lovingly
A Delhi Boy

Troublemaker On Earth: An OPEN apology from a Delhi Boy

Shame on Dumbass Shahana.....man she is being turned into a village idiot on the web ....more to follow LOL Hhahahahahahha
 

niharjhatn

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The problem is this , one single southern sate cannot vouch to represent the south INDIA in entity . the growing number of problems with KARNATAKA and tamil nadu in recent times, people are karnataka is quite pissed off with the attitude taken by tamil nadu when they try and project that south indian represents them.

Whichever way my only point is this :- South India is a misnomer better to speak on behalf of the state only , just the said person did with punjab only and not entire north because each state and each culture is different .
I think you are incorrect - no one should be judged on where they are from - not from their country, their state, nor their village, hell, I try not to judge people even based on their parents!

Just as "south india" is not representative of a south indian, neither is "typical punjabi" representative of a person from punjab, nor "typical bihari" representative of a person from Bihar.

I think Chetan Bhagat's novel '2 States' sums up the issue really well - if any have not read it, really recommend it. How can we develop as a nation when people from 2 states are not allowed to marry each other? (a question he brings up regarding a punjabi boy who had fallen for a south indian girl).
 

Known_Unknown

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Since I'm neither from north or south but from west (Maharashtra), it's funny to see the idli sambars bashing the sarson ka saags and vice versa. :p

In Maharashtra, the local parties usually take turns badmouthing both southies and northies from time to time....LOL. :pound:
 

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