õis the season for open letters
I'm a part 'madrasan' just like you! And I began to read your post with something akin to amusement because I live in Delhi and am very aware of the foibles of the Dilliwalas. I love it nonetheless for embracing me and giving me a home. About 5 lines down your post, I felt a little ashamed of having ever thought that I was 'just like you'. It seems nigh impossible to fall that low. For every Daalli boy living in Defence Callony there is a Medraus boy getting up 'early in the maarning'. Where is this getting us if as a country we make fun of our regional accents and aspire to a more 'neutral (read as American/Brit) accent? Are you ashamed of your skin, accent or your food habits? Then why shame them on their accents? Would you laugh at a French accent? You'll be weighed down by your colonial hangover, lady.
Autistic three year old? How witty and compassionate of you to make fun of a child with a disability. If you'll be playing for the South Indian team, I think you just scored a self goal. For every showy Punjabi I've encountered a stingy, parochial Madrasi who won't invite me into the house for a glass of water. For every caste based temple not allowing people in, there is a gurudwara that will feed you at the langar without bothering to ask after your background or gender. But hey, I really hope the 'punjabis' don't define us by the odd cranky old miser.
I've never understood the issue with muscular Punjabi men either are you really saying we lovely doe-eyed ladies prefer pot bellies and skinny legs peeping out from under mundus? I for one would never diss my man if he worked out, simply because it's a 'Punjabi thing' to do. It's a healthy thing to do and you're welcome to the shapeless slugs. Or did you mean that South Indian men are by definition, unfit and shapeless? I take offence on behalf of the rather fit men in my family. Honestly, I prefer my men well groomed, not smelling of coconut oil, and definitely no dusty feet in leather slippers. I don't exactly want him to shave his chest, but hell, a little pride in their looks wouldnt do our guys any harm.
What was that again about SUVs and big cars? If I had a buck for every South Indian man who talked about cars and gizmos, I'll be on a cruise instead of wasting my time writing this post right now. Our good old Coimbatore at one point had the highest number of imported cars. You might want to read this.
The open cascading tresses clearly you havent seen a Punjabi woman or even a Sikh man let down his hair. The Bongs can give us a run for our money too, in the eyes and hair department. And really sistah, I quite like my shaggy flip out and refuse to buy into the stereotypical long hair and olive skin bullshit. Who are you to define my South Indianness for me? I'm dark and I accept it why do you need to sugarcoat it? Bug you much? To say nothing of the fair skinned actresses we're importing for our films. It frustrates me. If our men appreciated us for what we are, we'll not need the Northies on our screens.
And really girl, did you have to bring up Hema Malini and Sridevi of all women? Them of the adultery, the second marriages, the conversions, the plastic surgery and botox fame? Aishwarya with her annoying accent (it'll probably caused by the smile she got redone) and fake marriage is our claim to fame? I thank you NOT! Funny how all three of them picked Punjabi and UP men when the time came, huh? Good for them. It just leaves the 'Madrasi' men free for us. I got my sweet boy from Karnataka instead of Ash!
You're not scrawny? My sympathies I could offer you the number of a dietician. We're built much smaller and more petite than the bigger built Punjabans and Haryanvis (God bless their souls and the ghee loaded parathas) who make an effort to stay fit. So maybe you need to get off your soapbox and on to a treadmill. I have to admit I prefer my murukku and kaapi to the treadmill but I am not going to grudge another woman her efforts. The first thing we women need to do is stop hating other women because they're making an effort we're not willing to.
One tiny matriarchal community does not a trend make. Have you missed the acid attacks? And the dowry we offer for our lovely daughters is mind-numbing. If I'm paying 3 crores for an engineer I'll like him to lose the pot belly and the hair oil please! Colleges with separate benches for boys and girls in salwar kameezes (yes, I can say it like them punjabans!). I'll hardly call that the height of freedom. And I'll say we need to fight against oppression and violence against women instead of just using statistics to score points. At the end of the day, irrespective of geographical location, it is still our gender being oppressed.
Amma-appa sound cooler than mom-dad to you? How could you be so petty as to pick up on something so ridiculous? Were you running out of real jokes? Bharatnatyam is a higher art form than the gidda or Kathak because you say so? I'm tired of this whole 'Attitude' we have because to me it reeks of inferiority. And I am damned if I am going to me made to feel inferior about my food, my body, my skin colour or my roots. Let's lighten up, let down the butt length tresses and accept that we play Punjabi music at our discos for fun.
You lost me at the girls doing fake marches (check out what these LSR girls are doing, by the way)? What exactly is it that other college kids are doing that is so much more significant? They're just college kids, leave them alone to have fun while they can!
What really got to me was the fleeing Pakistan reference. Are we so cold as to make a sneering reference to something that was so painful? Partition brought loss, bodies piled up in trains, blood, entire families wiped out don't we share history with them? Are you kidding when you say that you come from a defence background? I'm horrified that a girl from a defence background has been brought up to be so divisive. Is this the way the other kids in the armed forces think? I won't go into statistics of the Sikh regiment and the history of every family giving a son to the army, all while we were sitting around perfecting an attack on the chess board dipping our paruppu vadais in coconut chutney. Would any of us consider saying something so heartless about Tibet/Kashmir/Cambodia?
As for them not liking our food are you kidding me? The Brunch carried an article on how the dosa has become the national dish tit for tat, Hindi as official language! You'll find dosas at every corner stall in Delhi and everywhere else in the country although I must raise an objection to the paneer and Chinese dosas! What if they get started on the image of licking rasam off elbows? Because if we pick on the lowest common denominator to judge them by, they have every right to define us by the elbow lickers.
By the end of your post I was embarrassed for you. For the anger, the bitterness, the hatred and the vulnerability you let slip through. I have no idea what brought it on, but a good bottle of wine and some girl friends and a box of tissues might have been more effective. What you've done is unforgivable you've drawn lines and swords and hurt a lot of my 'Punjabi' friends. And oh yes, as someone else said if you don't want to be called Madrasi, learn to differentiate between Punjabi and Delhiite. Everyone is welcome in Delhi, and Munirka and RK Puram are mini-Tamil Nadus themselves. I buy my dosa maav and podi from there.
And finally, I'm appalled by some of your lines " Texas chainsaw massacre your face? Your dead Dadi? Your mother's shaven bosom? Kalari your tongue up your ass? Shove so many coconuts? " Way to lose control of your own blog post and make a fool of yourself. These are some of the crassest and most rabid statements I've heard this side of the Vindhyas. It's a pity you fell so low while trying to make a point on superiority or heck, even equality. To quote them Punjabis, you've MC-BCed our case altogether in this badly cobbled together, poor attempt at wit. Because you crossed the line into coarse, foul and ignoble. And you're dragging the rest of us into the mire. Maybe you just need a good nap or a cold glass of coconut water so that you can cool off and consider what you allowed your ire to lead you into.
I apologise to all those offended by Ms Shahana's little hissy fit here. We have our good and we have our bad and to attack prejudice with prejudice is not the way the rest of us South Indians work. I need to get back to cracking my IIT now. Apparently Ms Shahana thinks I have no other choice or mind of my own. Now did I put my pen in my Fendi bag or my Gucci clutch?
And oh, Ms Shahana, I have a request. In future, do not presume to write on behalf of all Madrasis. Not all of us are quite as bigoted or rabid.
Lowe,
MM (I proudly spell it Yem-Yay-Dee, Yem-O-Yem-Yem-Yay), yet another mocha coloured Madrasan married to a sweet fayer Sawth Indian boy.
PS: Okay lets kiss and make up, North and South Indians. And let's drag the Pakistanis into this with this lovely song Hona Tha Pyar.
Not all people in delhi are punjabi...not even half are punjabi.
