One-third of world's child brides from India: UNICEF

Koji

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Sky, while I believe you had a pleasant experience, many do not. In such a sensitive topic as child rape and underage sexual abuse, it is better to have zero tolerance.

This telling story clearly says she had no choice!

BBC Inside Out - Escaping a forced marriage

East Midlands: Monday September 27, 2004

ESCAPING A FORCED MARRIAGE


Jasvinder sees the reality of forced marriages in India and Pakistan
The tradition of forced marriages is becoming a growing threat for many British women of South Asian origin. Inside Out follow a Derby woman who escaped a forced marriage as she travels to India for the first time.

Jasvinder Sanghera arrives to the country she would once have called home had she not escaped a forced marriage.

Her parents left India in the fifties and even though Jasvinder was born in Derby, her parents wanted her, like all their daughters, to marry an Indian man.

Her seven sisters all went through with their arranged marriages, three of them travelled to India at the age of 16 and 17.

When Jasvinder was 15 and in her final year of school, her parents showed her a photo of man, saying that was the man she would marry within two weeks.


Jasvinder refused, but her parents continued to plan the wedding. Her family kept Jasvinder locked in the bedroom, until one day, she ran away.

"I saw a window of opportunity. The door was open and I just ran out the front door."

Disowned by her parents

Following her escape, Jasvinder spent her teens sleeping rough on the streets. She pleaded with her parents to let her return home, but they said that in their eyes "she was dead".


Jasvinder stands outside the house she escaped from
"In the community's eyes and in my family's eyes, because I had done something dishonourable to them, I am a woman that has no honour. I do. I have self-respect."

Many Indian families living in the UK still live very much by Indian traditions and practices.

The impact on British Asian women is something Jasvinder sees every day in her work with the Karma Nirvana refuge in Derby.

"What happens here (in India) impacts on us in England. We see women fleeing forced marriages.

"We see women feeling suicidal, self-harming because of issues of honour and shame."

Because of these pressures, few women have the strength to stand up against the forced marriages in the way that Jasvinder did.


Following a forced marriage, this young woman has gone into hiding from her family
Yasmin is one of the women who did contact Jasvinder.

Her parents took her to Pakistan for what Yasmin was told to be a family holiday.

Waiting in Pakistan was the man Yasmin's parents had planned for her to marry.

"I was scared, frightened. My parents told me I had no choice. They took my passport off me and said, "you'll stay here forever until you do this". So I went through with the wedding."

This happened four years ago when Yasmin was 17 years old. She is now divorced and living in a refuge where her parents won't be able to find her.


The majority of forced marriages take place in Pakistan, but it is the British High Commission in India that have seen a doubling of cases in the last five years.

Jasvinder meets up with them to discuss ways how to reach more women.

Susan Wilson is the vice-consul at the British High Commission in India and meets more and more British women forced into marriages abroad.

"So many people have said to us "I didn't know I could come to the British High Commission", which makes me think there must be many more cases we can help.

"If the number of cases increases, we have been given the resources to expand to include a shelter here where the women could go."

Working with crimes against women, the Dehli police force hosts a small team of officers that respond to complaints of sexual abuse, domestic violence and attempted murder.


The Indian police force tend to make excuses for domestic abuse
It's a small operation, one small unit covers the whole of the city.

Jasvinder follows the team as they respond to a call they got two hours earlier.

A burned woman is taken to hospital by her mother-in-law. It's not sure whether it is a domestic abuse case or not.

After having met the woman, Inspector Veera Shama says that the woman's dress caught fire when she was preparing milk.

"Sometimes there's some domestic violence. Some are accidental like this. It was not pre-planned"

"I don't know why she feels the need to defend how strong her marriage is to us - for me that just rings alarm bells."
Jasvinder Sanghera
Jasvinder has her doubts, refusing to believe the authorities are doing their best to protect this woman and with whether this woman really will be able to tell the truth in front of her mother-in-law.

Same kind of refuge - completely different aims

Jasvinder concludes her visit in Indian with a visit to a refuge, which reminds her about the work Karma Nirvana does back home in Derby.


These Indian women are beading necklaces as part of their stay in the refuge
The women here go through the same experiences as the Asian women back in the UK, they worry about the same issues, have the same fears about domestic abuse and exclusion from the community.

But the advice given to the women here in India is very different from the Derby refuge.

The women in India are taught skills to help them find work and rebuild their lives, although they are also encouraged to reconcile with their families rather than strive for independence.

Jasvinder is surprised to hear the advice given. But she is also aware of the cultural differences between India and the UK.

"India's opened my eyes on another level because the women here are second-class citizens, same as the Asian women I see in England.

"But in England, I would say we are scratching the surface and it's far worse because we don't actually see it. The difference here, I can see it visibly."
 

sunit224

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Dear Koji, Do you believe that in India everyone or most have to face the situation like Jasvinder? Media highlights few things (obviously which grabs more eyes and publicity). Not all that is said is true at large. I know Indian much better and have not come across anything like this anywhere. I do not say cases like these do not happen but they are not as rampant as the media headlines suggests. It happens in every country. Did Britney's sister not become a mother at a young age??? didnt a man in austria keep his daughters confined and had kids with them??? does this mean that these are things which happens to one and all in US and Austria respectively? I hope this would clear some of your doubts...
 

Koji

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Dear Koji, Do you believe that in India everyone or most have to face the situation like Jasvinder? Media highlights few things (obviously which grabs more eyes and publicity). Not all that is said is true at large. I know Indian much better and have not come across anything like this anywhere. I do not say cases like these do not happen but they are not as rampant as the media headlines suggests. It happens in every country. Did Brithney sister not become a mother at a young age??? didnt a man in austria keep his daughters confined and had kids with them??? does this mean that these are things which happens to one and all in US and Austria respectively? I hope this would clear some of your doubts...
Yes those unfortunate things did happen, but it was not because of an institutionalized reason. In any circumstance, those things would be frowned upon in developed countries.

On the other hand, the institution considers child marriage normal, and sometimes girls are punished (severely) if they deviate from the plan their parents put forth. The difference here is that Britney's sister was not forced to have a kid by her parents or family, but in Jasvinder's case, she was forced into a marriage by her parents.

I can't believe there are people arguing against under age marriage here...
 

sky

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koji That's a 5 year old story you have there. As i have said before times are changing.I like your zero tolerance policy,but it wont work .just because a small percentage of people are *****'s you dont change the law because of them.
 

Koji

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koji That's a 5 year old story you have there. As i have said before times are changing.I like your zero tolerance policy,but it wont work .just because a small percentage of people are *****'s you dont change the law because of them.
So let's clear the air here, are YOU in support of child/underage marrriage?
 

ahmedsid

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So let's clear the air here, are YOU in support of child/underage marrriage?
It doesnt matter if anyone in India supports Child Marriage or anything. Its Not Supporter by the Constituiton of India and The Courts of Law.

You report a under 18 girl getting married, and get ready for a legal hassle to build up, Its an offence.

Yes there are talks of Girls marriageable age being lowered to 15 and the boys to 18 from the current 21.

Dont make it sound like all of us are guilty here. I wonder how you can talk like this, classifying the whole population under the same belt!!
 

sky

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Do you bother reading any of my post's,because if you do you sure as hell don't understand them?

What do you mean support child marriage. if you mean someone getting married aged10 then of course NO.But if you mean 17,18 with parental consent,then thats there business and the a matter for them not the govenment.

Here in britian you can get married at 16 with your parents permission,because in the eyes of the law you are an adult.You legally can have sex at 16. if you kill someone you can go to jail at 16 because you are seen to be a adult.

Below 16 is illegal here,so below this age i am against child mariage,but every country has it's own tradition's and way's doing thing's.So please don't judge them with what you find to be acceptable.
 

Koji

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It doesnt matter if anyone in India supports Child Marriage or anything. Its Not Supporter by the Constituiton of India and The Courts of Law.

You report a under 18 girl getting married, and get ready for a legal hassle to build up, Its an offence.

Yes there are talks of Girls marriageable age being lowered to 15 and the boys to 18 from the current 21.

Dont make it sound like all of us are guilty here. I wonder how you can talk like this, classifying the whole population under the same belt!!

I am not stereotyping all of India. I'm just saying that since the population is so large in India, it should adopt a zero tolerance attitude to help abolish this crime on children.

Not supported by the Constitution or the Courts of the Law, but the muscular arm of the Law (police) turn a blind eye from abuse associated with child marriage (often times making up excuses). So what good is the law if it is not enforced.
 

ahmedsid

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[mod] We dont want any off topic/flamebaits. The Police Might not have a Zero Tolerance attitude towards under age marriage, But We at DFI have a Zero Tolerant attitude towards low quality Posts [/mod]
 

Koji

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Do you bother reading any of my post's,because if you do you sure as hell don't understand them?

What do you mean support child marriage. if you mean someone getting married aged10 then of course NO.But if you mean 17,18 with parental consent,then thats there business and the a matter for them not the govenment.

Here in britian you can get married at 16 with your parents permission,because in the eyes of the law you are an adult.You legally can have sex at 16. if you kill someone you can go to jail at 16 because you are seen to be a adult.

Below 16 is illegal here,so below this age i am against child mariage,but every country has it's own tradition's and way's doing thing's.So please don't judge them with what you find to be acceptable.
Many traditional Islamic countries have men marrying girls much younger than 16. This is the way they do things, and their tradition. Should we abstain from helping these poor children? There has to be a cutoff.
 

sky

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Many traditional Islamic countries have men marrying girls much younger than 16. This is the way they do things, and their tradition. Should we abstain from helping these poor children? There has to be a cutoff.
Look koji

we could go on all night and still not agree, as i have said below 16 is illegal here .So i agree with you, but do you know what the consent age is in the countries you speak of because i don't.Futhermore consent is one thing forced is another,as long as people don't get forced in to marriage it should be a personal matter.If forced then of course i'm again'st it.
i'm gonna stop now ...i think you should as well...
 

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