Nuggets from Pakistan

[Daredevil]

Nuggets from Pakistan

I'm posting some of the nuggets from Urdu press of Pakistan as translated by The Friday Times. They give inight into thinking of Urdu media which covers the vast majority of Pakistanis. Some nuggets are really funny and some not so. Keep watching for them every week.

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment.
Absurd or ridiculous, TFT takes no responsibility for them​

Free Aafia, we will forgive Davis!​

The brother of one of the two killed dacoits in Lahore told Jinnah that if America would free Pakistani innocent girl Aafia Siddiqui he would also forgive Raymond Davis for killing his brother to allow him to return safely to America. Sunni Ittehad Council said that delayed arrest of Davis was increasing popular anger because in the past Aimal Kansi and Ramzi Yusuf too were surrendered to America.

Veena Malik's treasonous sinfulness​

Famous columnist Ishtiaq Beg wrote in Jang that the Pakistani heart was greatly wounded by Veena Malik acting in a TV serial in India titled Bigg Boss in which she acted clad in shameful dress and did muashiqa (love) with a Hindu actor. She was retained in the serial by cunning Hindu vote because cunning Hindus wanted Pakistan humiliated through her. She finally climbed a dinner table with her shoes on after which she was asked to leave. Indian Muslims were greatly upset by Veena Malik and rang the columnist to register their anger. Bharati Muslims hung their heads in shame on seeing her act in a sinful manner.

Hundred thousand traders pay 'bhatta' in Karachi​

According to Nawa-e-Waqt, there were 100,000 traders and shopkeepers in Karachi who paid regular protection money (bhatta) to a number of organisations. They however complained that there were too many gangs in the Bhatta Mafia who insisted on taking money. When one gang received news that a shopkeeper had given bhatta to one gang other gangs too appeared. There were over 200 markets in Karachi paying protection money.

Pakistanis steal electricity worth Rs 300 billion​

Economic counsellor of Pakistan to the US Khalid Awan told Express that America was willing to invest in Pakistan and particularly set up in Pakistan a mechanism to prevent Pakistani citizens from stealing electricity worth Rs 300 billion annually.

Davis shot Pak security men!​

Quoted by Express Shirin Mazari said that according to her information the three boys shot dead in Lahore by Davis and his accomplice were not dacoits but employees of the security agencies of Pakistan trying to keep track of Davis's activities. Rana Sanuallah said the American had confessed and should be given no concession.

Pakistan is worse than Tunis and Egypt​

Columnist Saleem Safi wrote in Jang that what was common between Pakistan on the one hand and Egypt and Tunis on the other was the wide gap between the rich and the poor. Growth rate in Egypt was 5.3 percent and in Tunis 4 percent while in Pakistan it was 2.7 percent. Pakistan was therefore in more danger.

Pakistan to go next!​

Famous cricketer and political leader Imran Khan told daily Pakistan that the state of affairs in Pakistan was much worse than Tunis therefore Pakistan would soon succumb to uprising. He said the Taliban were not terrorists they were simply fundamentalists. He said America's actions had benefited Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda.

Raymond Davis called 'gori chamri'​

Famous PPP leader and Senate member Raza Rabbani was quoted by Express as saying that Pakistan should reject all American pressure and assert its law on the gori chamri (meaning Raymond Davis) too. He was expressing his distaste of the US by referring to the American in a reverse-racist manner.

No cellphone for girls, please!​

Daily Express reported that the All-India Muslim Personal Law Board had announced that it was not proper for Muslims to give cell-phones to their daughters because doing so made them bay-haya (shameless). Therefore to retain their modesty (haya) it was ordained that all Muslims vow that they would not allow their daughters to use cell-phone. It was not known whether the Board allowed wives to have the cellphone.

Davis was CIA agent!​

Daily Jinnah reported that Raymond Davis was a CIA agent who had just taken secret photos of the headquarters of Jamaatud Dawa near Chauburji in Lahore. He was transmitting his photos through satellite. He was accompanied by a squad of protection which was able to flee the scene.

Davis will return to America!​

Federal Minister of Education Sardar Asif Ahmad Ali was quoted by Express as saying that Raymond Davis had diplomatic immunity against trial and would have to be allowed to return to America. He said he will face trial in America. Q League leader Tariq Azim accused America of wanting to provide back-dated immunity to Davis to save him.

Secularists have always supported martial law!​

Great Jamaat chief Dr Munawwar Hasan was quoted by Express as saying that secular people of Pakistan had always supported martial law and that is why Davis who killed three innocent Pakistanis was being given VIP protocol.

Our Aafia, your Davis!​

Famous chief reporter Ansar Abbasi wrote in Jang that America had repeatedly tried to prove it to Pakistan that Pakistanis were no more than insects (keeray, makoray) We are so baighairat (shameless) that first we got our brothers and sisters in Afghanistan slaughtered by Americans and now American Raymond Davis was killing Pakistanis because after getting defeated by the Afghans America had decided to kill Pakistanis.

America created Islamic sects!​

Famous chief of Jamaat Dr Munawwar Hasan told daily Pakistan that America was responsible for creating Muslim sects in order to make Muslims fight each other instead of fighting America. He said Pakistan had sold its independence and sovereignty to the Americans and in return had allowed free killing of innocent Pakistanis by Americans.

Hosni Mubarak's cousin's French girlfriend​

Famous columnist Hamid Mir wrote in Jang that in 2009 when he wanted to go to Palestine through Egypt he was not allowed to do so; but he got the permission when a foreign journalist approached the government through the French girlfriend of a cousin of President Hosni Mubarak. Liberal fascists of Pakistan label anyone one extremist who tries to point out the hatred of Pakistanis for America.

Now, the 'wedding gang'!​

Reported in daily Pakistan a new gang appeared in Lahore arranging marriages for lakhs of rupees. In one case three bridegrooms arrived ready to marry three brides at the same house while the wedding gang was nowhere to be seen. With sehra on their head the three bridegrooms demanded to marry the same bride because they had made payments for her.

Davis can't be punished!​

Daily Jang quoted Najam Sethi as saying that the law gave immunity to American officer Raymond Davis and therefore he could not be tried in Pakistan. He said even if he was tried he would win his self defence case because the two boys who had challenged him on the road were carrying handguns.

Too much 'current' in people!​

Comic cleric Hafiz Hussain Ahmad of JUIF was quoted by Jinnah as saying that Pakistan was in trouble because there was too much electricity 'current' in the people protesting out on the streets and that there was no possibility of their being a load-shedding in this current.

Political 'bossa' of Governor Khosa​

Comic cleric Hafiz Hussain told Jinnah that by placing a political bossa (kiss) on the cheek of Mian Nawaz Sharif, Governor Khosa had troubled the soul of his predecessor Governor Salmaan Taseer. He said 'friendly opposition' was responsible for rescuing the government from disaster. He said if it let Raymond Davis go there will public protest that it will not be able to endure. He said the aftershocks of the quake being felt in Egypt will reach Pakistan too.

 

[LurkerBaba]

No cellphone for girls, please!
Daily Express reported that the All-India Muslim Personal Law Board had announced that it was not proper for Muslims to give cell-phones to their daughters because doing so made them bay-haya (shameless). Therefore to retain their modesty (haya) it was ordained that all Muslims vow that they would not allow their daughters to use cell-phone. It was not known whether the Board allowed wives to have the cellphone.

This is from our Urdu press?

 

[Daredevil]

This is from our Urdu press?

Nope. Its from their Urdu press reporting on India.

 

[Singh]

Pakistani Urdu press is every Indian and Pakistani right wingers wet dream come true (pun unintended) !

 

[mayfair]

Pakistani Urdu press is every Indian and Pakistani right wingers wet dream come true (pun unintended) !

I'm sorry if this sounds dense, but where's the pun in that?

 

[Daredevil]

Murder of uncircumcised saint

Reported in Jang after a pretending saint (jaali pir) in Qasur was murdered by a female follower of his, it was discovered that far from being a holy man, he was not even circumcised which was taken to mean that he was not a Muslim. After the community protested, the fake saint was not buried in the Muslim graveyard.

'We worship the same God as you!'

Daily Nawa-e-Waqt in its headline quoted Nawaz Sharif as telling the Indian guests (all Sikhs) from Indian Punjab that Pakistan worshipped the same Rabb as they did. The headline replaced Sikhs with Bharati. Nawa-e-Waqt (15 Aug 2011) quoted chief editor Majeed Nizami as saying that by saying that Pakistanis worshipped the same God as Indians Nawaz Sharif had destroyed his vote-bank. PMLN's Pervaiz Rasheed explained that Nawaz Sharif had not said anything about the God of Bharatis and Pakistanis.

Kayani for Nazriya Pakistan

Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt Pakistan Army Chief General Kayani told the cadets at Kakul Academy in Abbottabad that the Army must struggle to convey the Ideology of Pakistan (Nazriya Pakistan) to the coming generations. Although he did not mention it but Nazriya Pakistan is supposed to be based on Two-Nation Doctrine.

Ex-armymen welcome Kayani's Two-Nation Doctrine

Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that many retired army officer led by Brigadier Zafar Iqbal said that General Kayani had pleased them by declaring himself in favour of the Two-Nation Doctrine because Pakistan could not accept the domination (baladasti) of the prejudiced Hindu. They added that it was because of Majeed Nizami that Nazriya Pakistan was alive in the country.

'Ghazwa Hind' to happen soon (It must be Ghazwa-e-beHind Pakistan )

Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported leader of Sunni Ittehad Council Maulana Fazal Karim as saying that the last war between Islam and Kufr was to happen soon with Ghazwa Hind (War with India) in which the Holy Prophet PBUH will take part. In this war Islam will win and India will be totally defeated.

Quaid-e-Azam killed by America!

Close friend of Imran Khan, Yusuf Salahuddin told Jinnah that whoever in Pakistan opposed America was caused by America to be killed by the establishment. The Quaid-e-Azam himself was assassinated. He said the big anti-American lobby was focused on Imran Khan. He said all the prostitutes of Heera Mandi had relocated to Defence Society. He said Pakistan should follow Mithaq-e-Madina.

Funeral leader of Taseer runs away

Reported in Jinnah the cleric who led the funeral prayer of Governor Punjab Salmaan Taseer was receiving threat calls for allegedly leading the prayer for a blaspheming person. The cleric Afzal Chishti had run away to the UK and sought political asylum there on the basis of an FIR registered in Lahore. The Governor was killed by his own security detail a case against whom is proceeding at a very slow pace while the lawyers' movement favours the killer.

Foreign hand in Karachi!

Famous Defence Minister Ahmad Mukhtar told Nawa-e-Waqt that violence in Karachi was unleashed by 'foreign hand' and drone attacks were making life difficult for Pakistan while it was not possible to hold mid-tern elections as the time for that had passed. He did not say which foreign hand was involved but the common rumour was that three countries were involved: the US, India and Israel.

Hot Features: Nuggets from the Urdu press

 

[The Messiah]

Pakistani Urdu press is every Indian and Pakistani right wingers wet dream come true (pun unintended) !

Of that there is no doubt.

 

[agentperry]

indian muslim board had released fatwa against muslim girls carrying phones but this was widely criticized by muslim community and other muslim boards. and as a result i dont see its influence around me. but yes to the much extent this fatwa can be seen in many of the parts of india as muslim women their are either highly illierate( unfortunately) along with their husbands and much of the family and thats why dont carry mobiles. moreover few who wish to dont have sufficient money to divert to luxury item(their view point) because raising many children and tackle this inflation is challenging. this group is found in b or c grade cities and town and earlier one is prominent in villages.