I'm 20, turning 21 soon, born and raised in singapore. I'm Indian by ethnicity and Hindu. My father is fully Indian by nationality and citizenship. My mother is a singaporean. Considering that my mother's intention was to live in singapore, my family had been living here. However my father was never always in singapore. Several years ago due to certain undiscloseable ciricumstances my family decided to migrate to India and live there for good. Eventually my mother decided that she wanted to return to singapore. Considering that I was still young and clueless back then and being more familiar with what it was like to live in singapore, I decided to follow her. Then as per singapore law, I was called up for national service, which is military conscription. There is no way around this. The government doesnt budge the slightest with this matter. Alot of the men here arent keen on doing this at all. And all of them have to go through without a choice. But my reasons are different. But my reasons are different, which sums up the gist of my ordeal, this is very important. ever since young, as far as I can recall, I've always felt patriotic towards India. I remember when I was around 7 or 8 possibly, my teacher had asked us, being Singaporean would we fight on the side of the nation of our ethnic heritage. Without any reservation or second thought, I immediately said yes with conviction. This may sound a little off, but I have to say this, as it shows how deep-rooted my sentiments are. It is not serving in the military that I have got a problem with. But which military rather. I would proudly serve in the Indian army even if the system was against me. Because I consider it an honour rather than as mere obligation. Even if now should India enter into war and require men, my first instinct would be to do what I can. My patriotism is such that in case of Singapore and India being on opposing sides should war break out this moment, without hesitation I would commit treason to Singapore to support India even it meant death. I feel rooted to India due to ethnic and religious reasons. And I want to acquire Indian citizenship in due time. I've done research and even been to the Indian embassy recently. All I have to do is get the necessary documents and apply. As for now its all a matter of taking steps. I've had a terrible life here upon returning back. Plenty of racism against Indians. And I can never fully relate to chinese. My mother isnt helpful. I've got no friends. I got no one to help me out with this. I need to save some cash, complete my education and mentally prepare myself. I feel that I am yet to understand the world better and be able to take care of myself. My parents, family and the people surrounding thus far have made me feel bad about myself. I need to grow out of that. Currently, I have been on AWOL for about 3 weeks. And I have already gotten a court martial proceeding at hand for previous charges. This AWOL will only add up. I think as soon as I return back to camp, they will send me off to military prison. Its usually twice the length of AWOL duration. I had planned thus far to defer due to medical reasons(depression) stating that I wish to seek medical treatment (and in the mean time complete my education here and work part time to save money as Singapore currency is higher) and acquire Indian citizenship and leave before my deferment expires. If I get my Indian citizenship now, they will treat me as a deserter and incarcerate me the moment they get their hands on me. Suppose if I were to travel to Singapore as a tourist, as soon as I land and get through the airport they can handcuff me. The national service is 24 months long and have I done 10 months so far. I don't want to serve them. I adamantly dont want to finish the service. I'm an Indian. I don't ever want to be a soldier for an alien nation. It is very hard to acquire Indian citizenship these days. And I fear that the Indian army will prevent me from joining if they know that I have been a Singaporean till the age of around 20 plus. Because its common knowledge that Singaporean males serve conscription. What is your advise? How do I pull myself through this?