My personal statement for medicine at NUS

Discussion in 'Members Corner' started by Mr Joie de vivre, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. Mr Joie de vivre

    Mr Joie de vivre New Member

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    I have a natural aptitude for science, curiosity drives me and I feel that as a human being that it would be only fulfilling if I pursue learning,discovery and be involved in active thinking process as this is what has separated us from other species on the planet and allowed us to reign over earth.Hence I found that I would not be satisfied of earning a degree just for the sake of it and become a modern labour,morever I enjoyed intellectual challenges so I looked upto Nus which promises cultural diversity(hence a variety of minds and thinkers),a progressive and open system that fully allows space for creativity,imagination and learning and not rote learning.

    Medicine fitted my purpose best because I would be in contact with people everyday,assess a variety of cases and be dynamically involved in my job.It has a lot of scope for creativity and imagination in the form of treatments and the field is vast enough to for me to have different aspects to explore:like the human brain which is capable of both rational thought and emotional feelings.The heart which might be the most power efficient system in the whole world.

    For some reason I was more attracted to medicine than physics though it would provide me the same opportunities for my desires,I just guess it might be because I can help people more and directly in this way and be engaged everyday with humans and also then my energies would not end up being used for commercial purposes(had I opted for physics).Now it would all be directed to positively help Mankind.

    I suffered from Child hood Bronchial Asthma. Now I do not have asthma. Since my childhood days, my parents who are doctors used to tell me that asthma is only controllable and it is not curable. I also learnt from them that asthma will have remissions and exacerbations. This disorder and my childhood sufferings inspired me to become a doctor.
    I saw people suffering from Schizophrenia. I understood that these diseases are chronic and requires regular follow up and long term medications with side effects and without a permanent cure. Hence, I started thinking of doing research after completing my medicine programme on these chronic diseases to find out a cure for such patients.

    I achieved the best possible grades in my “o” level sc examinations but then I relocated to India ,where thanks to my brilliant results I was admitted to the final year of HSC meaning I skipped the 1st year hsc. but change in the learning system affected me greatly:Rote learning was greatly emphasized over real education and marks were given more importance over anything..this affected my final performance,this is the reason I want to study medicine in NUS because the culture of by heartening still exits in India at all levels of education in .Hence I request you to consider my application since I was affected by special circumstances.

    Rate and correct please and i have censored personal details.
     
    Kunal Biswas and indian_sukhoi like this.
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  3. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    You can do better. Be more arrogant in your tone.
     
  4. Mr Joie de vivre

    Mr Joie de vivre New Member

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    Oook...because i have to stand out from other applicants who will have better hsc grades...can you give a specific example?
     
  5. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    I cannot give example since i know shite about science.

    They just make your language a bit aggressive...praise yourself more, rate your capabilities higher etc.
     
  6. Daredevil

    Daredevil On Vacation! Administrator

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    I would certainly not recommend what Messiah is suggesting. Honest reflection of thoughts and thought process is what makes a good PS. Joie, you did a good job of putting in words of why you chose Medicine and the reasons behind it.
     
  7. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    Nothing comes naturally to me.

    I have had to struggle.

    You are lucky.

    Let your dreams and desires come true!

    Visit forums and you will find wonderful cases of schizophrenia for study!

    India, indeed, has a huge scope for imagination.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2012
  8. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    But he is not being real though is he by being extra polite and docile ?
     
  9. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    If he is doing it as you feel, do you think that he is doing a Manmohan Singh?

    Highly qualified, and yet unreal though extra polite and docile?
     
  10. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    He would become MMS if he accepts any of our "suggestions" instead of doing what he wants to do :rofl:
     
  11. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    But then Joie de vivre means joy of living!
     
  12. Daredevil

    Daredevil On Vacation! Administrator

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    When it comes to Personal statements - it can be either honest or fake, it cannot be docile or aggressive. I myself did a lot of selections of these personal statements of incoming graduate students for my professor. I can separate what is fake or real based on how much the applicant waxes him/herself. Honest PS will definitely give more marks than a dishonest fake PS.
     
  13. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    Imagine that!

    I have never been to a civil college and so I did not even know what a Personal Statement was.

    Students have to give this?
     
  14. The Messiah

    The Messiah Bow Before Me! Elite Member

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    Not everyone has to give.

    But i did.
     
  15. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    Why is it given and how does it help?
     
  16. Tolaha

    Tolaha Senior Member Senior Member

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    Joie,

    There is a problem with asking others for their opinion on your personal statement. You will get different responses of people where they say how they think their statement would look like. If you ever try to incorporate others opinions, it would no longer be you speaking up in that statement. You go ahead with how you'd like them to see you as a person. And make sure you understand and are in a position to stand up as well as explain each and every line in your letter.

    My only suggestions would be: Fix up the commas and spaces. Break up those huge statements into 2-3 lines. Fix those grammar mistakes.
     
  17. trackwhack

    trackwhack Tihar Jail Banned

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    Overall, the punctuation needs to be revisited. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2012
  18. Mr Joie de vivre

    Mr Joie de vivre New Member

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    Thanks guys,i was not intending to put up others' opinions in my statement.

    Just asking them to rate it and fix any obvious mistake that should not be there,its more like asking if they would consider me if they were in the selector's position.

    A distant uncle of mine has the named disease and what i have written is not made up...

    Daredevil what do you feel about my statement true or fake?

    Messaih that docile thing would be counted as showing respect i guess,they would expect that atleast in the letter before i get even selected after all i aint einstein yet :p
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2012

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