Marital Rape or Celibate Marriage?

Discussion in 'Politics & Society' started by pmaitra, Jun 23, 2015.

  1. pmaitra

    pmaitra Moderator Moderator

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    Marital Rape or Celibate Marriage?


    We had a spirited discussion in another thread, entitled “
    Woman fined for misusing law against husband,” and there was an interesting comment by @Sakal Gharelu Ustad, which I think may be used to fork out yet another discussion. Therefore folks, this thread.

    There is a debate in India, about “Marital Rape.” Before I go on to establish the pertinent question on this topic, allow me to present an anecdote. The anecdote is from the United Kingdom, however, this applies in the Indian context as well.

    The entire article entitled “
    Frustrated husband creates spreadsheet of wife's excuses for not having sex with him,” is worth reading. The summary is as follows:

    1. The wife consistently refuses to have sex with her husband.
    2. The husband repeatedly requests, but does not force his wife, however, diligently notes down all the excuses the wife offers for not having sex with him in an Excel spreadsheet.
    3. Eventually, the husband emails the Excel spreadsheet to the wife.
    4. The wife then shares this spreadsheet on Redditt.

    Exhibit:
    [​IMG]

    Having read the comments, there are two things that were suggested.

    • The wife shared the Excel spreadsheet online in the hope of getting support for herself and against her husband.
    • The wife shared the Excel spreadsheet online to seek advice as she intended to work on her marriage.

    For the sake of a little humour, here is an interesting comment on the article:

    PickledOnion > Guest • a year ago

    They obviously didn't Excel at intimacy

    The question is, was it inappropriate of the husband to send her that Excel spreadsheet, or was it inappropriate of the wife to share it online, or both? Also, what is the best solution in this situation?

    Now, coming back to the concept of “Marital Rape,” especially in the Indian context, there are many questions. Should a man be forced to remained married and lead an almost celibate life just because his wife prefers to avoid sex? If couples are not having enough sex, should they continue to live like brothers and sisters, or should the husband be allowed to tell his wife, “get thee to a nunnery,” if I am allowed to quote Shakespeare (
    Hamlet, Act III, Scene I) in a different context, and end the marriage? In a marriage, both the spouses are expected to be loyal to their marriage. Is it better to remain in the marriage but satisfy one’s needs outside of marriage so as not to be accused of “Marital Rape,” or is it better to end the marriage? The same problem would arise if the husband continues to deny his wife sex.


    Feel free to discuss related but tangential topics as well. I request everyone to keep it mutually cordial.
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2015
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  3. pmaitra

    pmaitra Moderator Moderator

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  4. rock127

    rock127 Maulana Rockullah Senior Member

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    Where is the ancient excuse --> "I got a headache"???
     
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  5. Rowdy

    Rowdy Co ja kurwa czytam! Senior Member

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    The trick is never get married......ever ..... at least to feminists.... in germany i met many men with japanese or thai wives ..... untouched by these ideologies they look pretty happy....:lol: I met this guy last year ... and his japanese wife. The wife was fluent in German + english, worked in the german office of a japanese bank and at least they seemed pretty happy to me.
     
  6. Mad Indian

    Mad Indian Proud Bigot Veteran Member Senior Member

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    The husband was just sharing it with her wife. There is nothing wrong in what he did.

    What his wife did however is actually very bad if she had not taken permission to share it in internet without her husband permission

    Yes that would seem like the solution. Oh boy is it going to be beautiful- most marriages ending in divorce. Bye family system of India. Thankfully we have BJP in Power and not the morons in CON. I don't think India will legislate marital rape- so long as BJP is in Power. But given their tendency to out secularise cons in some cases like secularisation of YOG, even that is not 100% certain.


    Oh but marital sex is all but the first step. What the feminist ***** want next is something like - having sex with a drunk girl is rape even if that was consensual- meaning consent can be revoked even after sex. So no sex at all without the associated risks of accused of rape anytime even if sex was consensual-.


    But you have missed the most important problem of this law- it will be a tool to further beat down on the poor husband. Now instead of mandatory 498 cases in the divorce proceeding, you will have mandatory marital rape- accusations too. This is what this law is about - giving the feminist cu*** more power to beat up on men and not about any justice whatsoever.

    We already have a law in India which allows domestic rape as a ground for divorce. So where does this law come into play and what does it add more to the existing system which is not already there? Answer - nothing ! Note that no wife who is going to file a rape case against the husband is going to live with him after that in the family. So this not something which going to protect women inside the family now is it? No. This is purely an evil instrument to beat down on men.


    I for one don't want the Indian society to become as dysfunctional as USA . but if many feminist retards here want it- then good luck . let the society burn. We can add social and family dysfunction and crime to out list of achievements like poverty and corruption
     
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  7. Bangalorean

    Bangalorean Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    I think we should all change our mental conditioning and thought process now and prepare for the inevitable. There is no other way out. I think what's going to happen is: screw family values, screw the institution of marriage.

    Women can work and earn their own living. Men will do it too. Both sexes have complete financial independence. Both sexes will retail independence and individuality.

    However, since sex and reproduction are human needs, let there be sex with mutual consent. Reproduction will happen only in cases when both parties feel that the offspring will be good and that they can live together for at least a short time, even sporadically (2-3 years at least). Then, there will be enough business ventures in the field of "day-care", "creches", etc. who will raise the offspring in a "professional manner", for business benefits, for the first 5-6 years. Then the woman is free to find another man to mate with, either along with offspring or without. Same goes for the man.

    In the interim, sexual needs will be fulfilled anyway since there is no "marriage" anymore.
     
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  8. Mad Indian

    Mad Indian Proud Bigot Veteran Member Senior Member

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    And the kids can grow up to be criminals like the kids of single moms in USA.

    Indian family system and sex life is perfectly fine as it is. Why break something in the name of progress? And western liberal sex is not the same as modernism or progress.
     
  9. rock127

    rock127 Maulana Rockullah Senior Member

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    Reminds me of watching programs on Dis/NGC about this game of mating among various animals.

    The female in "heat" goes around males and the males starts mating.Multiple males screw 1 female.

    We do need to progress and match animal system. :rofl:
     
  10. Poseidon

    Poseidon Regular Member

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    Modern Countries in Asia are still very patriarchal(some more and some less than others) including India so a strong law again marital rape is needed.

    If your wife refuses sex for a long tine
    either divorce her or find some way to calm your boner.
     
  11. Mad Indian

    Mad Indian Proud Bigot Veteran Member Senior Member

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    As usual the typical feminist rhetoric without any thoughts on the consequences. So should India get the same 40-50% single moms of the west? That's what this law will lead to. I am sure you will be happy if your future sons/grandsons refuses to marry citing the problems of marriage or if your daughters/grand daughters finds it impossible to find bridegrooms for the same reason. This is what is happening in US and the west.

    And marriage is itself a consent for sex as is. So if you don't want to give consent why marry in the first place and later ask for marital rape laws?

    This gender war is not a zero sum game. What one gender loses , the other gender also has to pay the price for it. It's a lose lose war.
     
  12. Mad Indian

    Mad Indian Proud Bigot Veteran Member Senior Member

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    Many people here seem to confuse progress with change. Progress should achive betterment of society not regression. All this feminist rhetoric of my choice and adultry will lead to Indian society and family devolving into a western clone where the single mom % is 40% and the rate of marriage is falling faster than a deck of cards. That's not progress by devolution.

    Change is not always good nor is change progress
     
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  13. Bangalorean

    Bangalorean Stars and Ambassadors Stars and Ambassadors

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    @Mad Indian, @rock127 - I agree that single moms and broken families aren't a good thing. Especially for the offspring.

    However, what I am saying is, whether we like it or not, society is headed that way. We will see constantly falling birth rates and lowering of population.

    You know, in many animal species, we have a setup wherein the woman looks for men to mate with. Once the mating is done, the male moves on, leaving the woman in charge of the offspring. I think, whether we like it or not, this is going to be the future course of human society. And of course, this will lead to falling birth rates.
     
  14. Rowdy

    Rowdy Co ja kurwa czytam! Senior Member

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    I would love this ........ :lol: no responsibilities and once you outlive your usefulness you are OUT. :lol: The highs will be high, the lows will be low. ;)
     
  15. Sakal Gharelu Ustad

    Sakal Gharelu Ustad Detests Jholawalas Moderator

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    Since, this is a discussion forum the question to ask is not whether it is inevitable or not. Although @Bangalorean thinks that it is inevitable but he also knows that it is a bad equilibrium for future generations.

    Now questions to ponder:
    1) Is it really bad to loose all the family values?
    I think yes, but, would be nice if someone can point to counter examples with benefits.

    2) Does India provide conditions for sustainability of single moms society?
    I think not. Both US and Europe can sustain it, thanks to some kind of social security system in place. India is still at least 3-4 decades behind in terms of economic prosperity to provide benefits to single mothers. Even in US, a large portion of single mothers come from relatively poor backgrounds. So, if the poor go down that way in India, it will take a lot of time before the population has enough incentives to go this way.
     
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  16. Sakal Gharelu Ustad

    Sakal Gharelu Ustad Detests Jholawalas Moderator

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    I agree with @Mad Indian on the questions about sharing the excel sheet both between couples as well as outside world.

    Now coming to the next part and important questions.

    Couples with a child have their supreme duty towards their offspring. They should try to solve the matter and may be even live a celibate life if that is the cost to save marriage and decent upbringing. But that is easier said than done. Given that men have high sex drive as compared to women, the problem now arises how to avoid huge confrontation. There can be many ways to avoid this confrontation. Joint families were one way to deal with this problem. Given the couple hardly found time to be alone and together, the reason for not having sex passed from wife to other family members. This saved the wife from entire blame and also being away from each other for significant amount of time should have generated enough excitement for a few times that couple could manage. Joint family is a pretty cool way to diffuse this problem.

    But what to do in present society? Complete denial is definitely bad for the marriage and it is unsustainable. But it would be good if both partners can engage in other creative form of work to burn some energy. This should allow for a healthy sex frequency which would be some sort of average for the couple. There are definitely ways to increase and decrease libido and couples should try to work out a healthy way to achieve it.

    P.S. I have turned into a marriage counsellor!!
     
  17. Rashna

    Rashna Senior Member Senior Member

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    Related to this discussion by virtue of being a plan put in action in the US... Can this be replicated in India? Not until Single women who become mom's get the same benefits...

    THE PLAN ! Really is a SHAME and SHAM

    THE PLAN !

    Do You Know the 13 Steps to Financial Freedom ?
    Just follow these proven 13 steps:
    1. Don't get married.
    2. Use your mom's address to get mail sent to you.
    3. The guy buys a house.
    4. Guy rents out house to his girl girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
    5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
    6. Girlfriend signs up for federal healthcare so guy doesn't have to pay out the butt for family insurance.
    7. Girlfriend gets to go to college for free being a single mother.
    8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps.
    9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone.
    10. Girlfriend gets free utilities.
    11. Guy moves into home but uses mom’s house to get mail sent to him.
    12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes.
    Now you both get to claim head of household at $1,800 credit.
    13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "crazy" or having a "bad back" at
    $1,800 a month, and never has to work again.

    This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.
    Amarried couple with a stay-at-home mom yields $0 dollars.
    BUT...
    Anunmarried couple with a stay-at-home mom nets:
    $21,600 disability +
    $10,800 free housing +
    $6,000 free Obama-care +
    $6,000 free food +
    $4,800 free utilities +
    $6,000 Pell grant money to spend +
    $12,000 a year in college tuition free from Pell grant +
    $8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother =
    -----------
    $76,000 a year in benefits

    Any idea why the country is $18+ trillion in debt?
    Any idea why so many children are born with no father?
    ~~~~~~~~~~
     
  18. Rowdy

    Rowdy Co ja kurwa czytam! Senior Member

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    Americaaaa !!!!!!!!!!! F*********K yeahh
     
  19. Sakal Gharelu Ustad

    Sakal Gharelu Ustad Detests Jholawalas Moderator

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    Ofcourse people will use the benefits. US society is highly incentivised to break marriages.
     
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  20. Rashna

    Rashna Senior Member Senior Member

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    Its best suited for you... lol... Come to think of it marriage is an outdated concept except for those who want their mid-day coffee served up to them by their doting wife.
    You know the celebrated dialogue about mere pass bangla hai gadi hai tumhare pass kya hai may well end with "mere pass biwi hai"....
    lol.... biwi the extinct species....
     
  21. Rashna

    Rashna Senior Member Senior Member

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    Well only incentives make people get married so it follows that only incentives can break marriages. Do u agree?

     

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